it feels sometimes," he said as he let his hand drop away from her face. "Like the pressure and worry are building to a breaking point." Though all she could see was the outline of his face, she could see when he directed his attention out into the inky distance. "Her care is why I took this job. I wanted her to be able to stay in her own home, and that means around-the-clock caregivers. And I couldn’t...wasn’t able to do what I wanted to."
"Which was?"
"I used to ride bulls on the rodeo circuit, until I got thrown then trounced by a really mean bull. Several broken bones and a couple of surgeries later, and my career was over."
"I’m sorry."
He shrugged. "I looked for work for a long time, but nothing paid enough for Mom’s care and to pay all the others bills. When I found out about this place, I couldn’t believe I was even considering it. But I told myself that I would just turn everything off when I was here, then pretend it didn’t exist the moment I left the ranch each day. None of it was real."
Lily swallowed hard even though everything he said made perfect sense. A part of her even admired him for his sacrifices for his mother. It didn’t matter that Lily was just part of that sacrifice.
"Have you told anyone else this?" She knew it shouldn’t matter, but she needed to know.
"You mean other women I’ve been with?"
"Yes."
"No. That’s the thing. I’ve never shared anything personal with any of them."
"Maybe it’s the darkness. It’s easier sometimes to open up when you don’t have to look the other person in the face."
"No, it’s because you’re different. I don’t know if it’s because you opened up to me first, trusted me, or the fact that you’re going to be my last, but I don’t feel the same with you."
Lily’s heart faltered as the full meaning of his words sank in. "Your last?"
"I can’t do this anymore. I’ll figure out something, but this can’t be it."
"Oh."
"I’ll spend the rest of the week with you, and then I’m done here."
Lily bit her lip, debating with herself over what to say in response. She wanted to spend more time with him, but she couldn’t make him do something that was killing him inside. No need to see it in his face, she could hear it in his voice.
"You don’t have to come back," she said. "I understand."
He shifted so that he was halfway facing her then took both of her hands in his. "That’s not what I meant. I want to spend these nights with you, but that’s why I know I can’t do this anymore after you leave. I’m not going to want to be with anyone else."
"I..." She had absolutely no idea what to say to that. They’d spent two nights together, didn’t even know what each other looked like, and yet something more than sex had blossomed between them. "This doesn’t make sense."
"I know, but that doesn’t change how I feel."
She sat silently for several long seconds before saying, "Me neither."
His hand slid up her arm to her shoulder then made its way up her neck to the back of her head. And then his mouth lowered to hers in the sweetest, most tender kiss imaginable. She had to fight tears at the thought that in a few days, she would never kiss those lips again.
* * * *
CHAPTER EIGHT
Connor wrapped Lily in his arms and pulled her closer. Her breasts pushed against him, soft yet firm. And she tasted like strawberries. He never would have thought that coming to work at Pleasure Ridge would lead to their conversation on the cabin’s porch, to such a relief of the pressure in his chest that it could be nothing less than a miracle.
"I want to make love to you," he said against her lips, moist from their kisses.
She pulled away a bit. "You don’t have to do that anymore."
"I know I don’t have to. I want to, if you do."
Lily lifted her hand to his cheek. "You have no idea how many times I thought about making love to you today, wondering if I’d ever get another opportunity." She shook her head. "Wondering if I’d
"Which was?"
"I used to ride bulls on the rodeo circuit, until I got thrown then trounced by a really mean bull. Several broken bones and a couple of surgeries later, and my career was over."
"I’m sorry."
He shrugged. "I looked for work for a long time, but nothing paid enough for Mom’s care and to pay all the others bills. When I found out about this place, I couldn’t believe I was even considering it. But I told myself that I would just turn everything off when I was here, then pretend it didn’t exist the moment I left the ranch each day. None of it was real."
Lily swallowed hard even though everything he said made perfect sense. A part of her even admired him for his sacrifices for his mother. It didn’t matter that Lily was just part of that sacrifice.
"Have you told anyone else this?" She knew it shouldn’t matter, but she needed to know.
"You mean other women I’ve been with?"
"Yes."
"No. That’s the thing. I’ve never shared anything personal with any of them."
"Maybe it’s the darkness. It’s easier sometimes to open up when you don’t have to look the other person in the face."
"No, it’s because you’re different. I don’t know if it’s because you opened up to me first, trusted me, or the fact that you’re going to be my last, but I don’t feel the same with you."
Lily’s heart faltered as the full meaning of his words sank in. "Your last?"
"I can’t do this anymore. I’ll figure out something, but this can’t be it."
"Oh."
"I’ll spend the rest of the week with you, and then I’m done here."
Lily bit her lip, debating with herself over what to say in response. She wanted to spend more time with him, but she couldn’t make him do something that was killing him inside. No need to see it in his face, she could hear it in his voice.
"You don’t have to come back," she said. "I understand."
He shifted so that he was halfway facing her then took both of her hands in his. "That’s not what I meant. I want to spend these nights with you, but that’s why I know I can’t do this anymore after you leave. I’m not going to want to be with anyone else."
"I..." She had absolutely no idea what to say to that. They’d spent two nights together, didn’t even know what each other looked like, and yet something more than sex had blossomed between them. "This doesn’t make sense."
"I know, but that doesn’t change how I feel."
She sat silently for several long seconds before saying, "Me neither."
His hand slid up her arm to her shoulder then made its way up her neck to the back of her head. And then his mouth lowered to hers in the sweetest, most tender kiss imaginable. She had to fight tears at the thought that in a few days, she would never kiss those lips again.
* * * *
CHAPTER EIGHT
Connor wrapped Lily in his arms and pulled her closer. Her breasts pushed against him, soft yet firm. And she tasted like strawberries. He never would have thought that coming to work at Pleasure Ridge would lead to their conversation on the cabin’s porch, to such a relief of the pressure in his chest that it could be nothing less than a miracle.
"I want to make love to you," he said against her lips, moist from their kisses.
She pulled away a bit. "You don’t have to do that anymore."
"I know I don’t have to. I want to, if you do."
Lily lifted her hand to his cheek. "You have no idea how many times I thought about making love to you today, wondering if I’d ever get another opportunity." She shook her head. "Wondering if I’d
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