Read Online Heavy Weather by P. G. Wodehouse - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: P. G. Wodehouse
Tags: Humour
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collapsed into the seat opposite. It was a perspiring young man of the popinjay type, whose face though twisted, was not so twisted that she was unable to recognize 56 in him that Montague Bodkin who had once been so frequent a visitor at the home of her ancestors.
Monty had run it fine. What with hunting for a mislaid cigarette-case and getting held up in a traffic block in Praed Street, he had contrived this spectacular entry only by dint of sprinting the length of the platform at a rate of speed which he had not achieved since his university days.
But though warm and out of breath, he was still the preux chevalier who knew that when you have just barked the skin of a member of the other sex apologies must be made.
'It is quite all right, Mr Bodkin,' said Lady Julia as he made them. 'I am sorry I was in your way.'
Monty started violently.
'Gosh!' he exclaimed.
'1 beg your pardon.'
'I mean - er - hullo, Lady Julia!'
'Hullo, Mr Bodkin.'
' Phew!' said Monty, dabbing agitatedly at his forehead with the handkerchief which so perfectly matched his tie and socks.
H is distress was not caused entirely - or even to any great extent - by the reflection that he had just taken an inch of skin off the daughter of a hundred earls. That, no doubt, was regrettable, but what was really exercising his mind was the thought that Sue being presumably on the train and having presumably observed his rush down the platform would be coming along at any moment to see if he got aboard all right. It seemed to him that it was going to require all his address to handle the situation which her advent would create.
'Fancy running into you,' he said dismally.
'"Over me" would be a better way of putting it. I felt like some unfortunate Hindu beneath the wheels of Juggernaut. And where are you bound for, Mr Bodkin?'
'Eh? Oh, Market Blandings.'
'You are going to stay with your uncle at Matchingham?'
'Oh, no. I'm booked for the Castle. Lord Emsworth has taken me on as his secretary.'
'But how very odd. I thought you were working with the Mammoth Publishing Company.'
'I've resigned.'
'Resigned?'
'Resigned,' said Monty firmly. He was not going to reveal his Moscow to this woman. 'What made you resign?'
'Oh, various things. There are wheels within wheels.'
'How cosy!' said Lady Julia.
Monty decided to change the subject.
'I hear everything's much about the same at Blandings.'
'Who told you that?'
'Fellow named Carmody, who has been secretarying there. He said everything was much about the same.'
'What a very unobservant young man he must be! Didn't he mention that there had been an earthquake there, an upheaval, a social cataclysm?'
'I beg your. . . What was that?'
'Prepare yourself for a shock, Mr Bodkin. Ronnie is at Blandings, and with him a chorus-girl of the name of Brown, whom he proposes to marry.'
A little uncertain as to the judicious line to take, Monty decided to be astounded.
'No!'
'I assure you.' 'A chorus-girl?'
'Named Sue Brown. You don't know her, by any chance?' 'No. Oh, no. No.'
‘I thought possibly you might.' Lady Julia looked out of the window at the flying countryside. 'Very trying for a parent. Don't you think so, Mr Bodkin?'
'Oh, most.'
'Still, I suppose it might have been worse. There is rather a consoling ring about that simple name. I mean, Sue Brown doesn't sound like a girl who will bring breach of promise actions when the thing is broken off.'
'Broken off!'
'It might so easily have been Suzanne de Brune.' ' But - er - are you thinking of breaking it off?' 'Why, of course. You seem very concerned. Or is this joy ?' 'No -1 -er - It just occurred to me that it might be a bit difficult. I mean, Ronnie's a pretty determined sort of chap.'
'He inherits it from his mother,' said Lady Julia. It was during the silence which followed this remark that Sue entered the compartment.
At the moment of her arrival Monty was staring out of the window and Lady Julia had leaned back in her seat. There was nothing,
Monty had run it fine. What with hunting for a mislaid cigarette-case and getting held up in a traffic block in Praed Street, he had contrived this spectacular entry only by dint of sprinting the length of the platform at a rate of speed which he had not achieved since his university days.
But though warm and out of breath, he was still the preux chevalier who knew that when you have just barked the skin of a member of the other sex apologies must be made.
'It is quite all right, Mr Bodkin,' said Lady Julia as he made them. 'I am sorry I was in your way.'
Monty started violently.
'Gosh!' he exclaimed.
'1 beg your pardon.'
'I mean - er - hullo, Lady Julia!'
'Hullo, Mr Bodkin.'
' Phew!' said Monty, dabbing agitatedly at his forehead with the handkerchief which so perfectly matched his tie and socks.
H is distress was not caused entirely - or even to any great extent - by the reflection that he had just taken an inch of skin off the daughter of a hundred earls. That, no doubt, was regrettable, but what was really exercising his mind was the thought that Sue being presumably on the train and having presumably observed his rush down the platform would be coming along at any moment to see if he got aboard all right. It seemed to him that it was going to require all his address to handle the situation which her advent would create.
'Fancy running into you,' he said dismally.
'"Over me" would be a better way of putting it. I felt like some unfortunate Hindu beneath the wheels of Juggernaut. And where are you bound for, Mr Bodkin?'
'Eh? Oh, Market Blandings.'
'You are going to stay with your uncle at Matchingham?'
'Oh, no. I'm booked for the Castle. Lord Emsworth has taken me on as his secretary.'
'But how very odd. I thought you were working with the Mammoth Publishing Company.'
'I've resigned.'
'Resigned?'
'Resigned,' said Monty firmly. He was not going to reveal his Moscow to this woman. 'What made you resign?'
'Oh, various things. There are wheels within wheels.'
'How cosy!' said Lady Julia.
Monty decided to change the subject.
'I hear everything's much about the same at Blandings.'
'Who told you that?'
'Fellow named Carmody, who has been secretarying there. He said everything was much about the same.'
'What a very unobservant young man he must be! Didn't he mention that there had been an earthquake there, an upheaval, a social cataclysm?'
'I beg your. . . What was that?'
'Prepare yourself for a shock, Mr Bodkin. Ronnie is at Blandings, and with him a chorus-girl of the name of Brown, whom he proposes to marry.'
A little uncertain as to the judicious line to take, Monty decided to be astounded.
'No!'
'I assure you.' 'A chorus-girl?'
'Named Sue Brown. You don't know her, by any chance?' 'No. Oh, no. No.'
‘I thought possibly you might.' Lady Julia looked out of the window at the flying countryside. 'Very trying for a parent. Don't you think so, Mr Bodkin?'
'Oh, most.'
'Still, I suppose it might have been worse. There is rather a consoling ring about that simple name. I mean, Sue Brown doesn't sound like a girl who will bring breach of promise actions when the thing is broken off.'
'Broken off!'
'It might so easily have been Suzanne de Brune.' ' But - er - are you thinking of breaking it off?' 'Why, of course. You seem very concerned. Or is this joy ?' 'No -1 -er - It just occurred to me that it might be a bit difficult. I mean, Ronnie's a pretty determined sort of chap.'
'He inherits it from his mother,' said Lady Julia. It was during the silence which followed this remark that Sue entered the compartment.
At the moment of her arrival Monty was staring out of the window and Lady Julia had leaned back in her seat. There was nothing,
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