Read Online Heartbreaker Hanson by Melanie Marks - Free Book Online

different between us, but they shouldn’t be.
    They couldn’t be.

 
 
 
 
    CHAPTER 12

 
 
    After
leaving staring Drew in my kitchen, I shakily hobbled up to my room and threw
myself across my bed. I was so confused. And torn. I loved him so much my heart hurt. So, of course it was full of
joy and dramatic stuff learning that he cared about me so intensely, yet at the
same time, it sort of ached (painfully bad) because in a way, I had lost my
hero—the Drew that I had loved since the third grade, that boy could do no wrong. He was
replaced by a person with human emotions and feelings, a person who could cheat
on his girlfriend if given the opportunity. That made me so sad.
    Before
that kiss I had thought of him as above reproach. Alright, so I had pretty much
thought of him as a God, but there had been reason— ample reason. Face it: until his recent feelings for me turned him
into a “guy” I had never before seen him do anything wrong. Ever. The guy never
cheated on anything , so I found it
hard to believe he would cheat on his girlfriend. Yet … after our
heart-stopping conversation tonight, it seemed he was willing to do just that.
That knowledge did so many convoluted things to my confused heart—destroyed
it, yet at the same time made me realize the possible extent of his feelings
for me.
    I
pulled the covers over my head and groaned.
    What
a hopeless situation! I had loved Drew for so long that it had just become a
natural part of my life. It was like breathing. Something I didn’t question, or
dwell on, it was just something I did. I really never felt all that guilty—being
in love with my friend’s boyfriend. I had loved him first, and really, deep
down, I felt I loved him best. Laurie had never even noticed Drew’s existence
until he became the hero of the school football team. Then all the sudden
everyone noticed him. All the girls suddenly loved him. Everyone’s feelings
changed towards him. But not mine. I didn’t love him any more because of his
new recognition. In fact, if it was possible to love him any more than I
already did, it was because earning everyone’s love and admiration hadn’t changed
him. He was still the good-natured, down-to-earth guy he had always been.
    Secretly
loving Drew while he was dating Laurie had given me huge twinges of
guilt—of course. But suddenly having Drew’s feelings reciprocated was
quite another story. Suddenly I had to face my feelings. Face reality. Face the
fact I couldn’t take my friend’s boyfriend away from her. No way. That wasn’t
me. That was evil.
    It
didn’t help knowing that if the roles were reversed Laurie probably wouldn’t
have major qualms about snatching up my boyfriend. After all, she’d snatched away plenty of her friend’s boyfriends in
the past. That was a cold hard fact to face, but it was a sad truth. That
knowledge didn’t really help me though, because face it, it didn’t matter what
Laurie would do. I was nothing like Laurie…. Though at the moment I couldn’t
feel too morally superior to her. In
fact, at the moment I didn’t even seem to have that up on her whatsoever. I
wanted Drew so badly that I ached, and felt I would practically give my soul to
be with him.
    So,
of course I felt all kinds of guilty. Thinking about poor Laurie innocently
sleeping at her cousin’s house oblivious to the betrayal of her boyfriend and friend.
    Laurie
wasn’t the best friend that a person could ask for. Far from it. She was
shallow and self-centered and insensitive. But still, she was my friend. She
just was. There were times she had really been there for me—like when
Rachel died. She hadn’t left me to wallow in my despair, like a lot of my “friends”
did. She forced me to leave my house and do things. She dragged me to parties—she was my friend. And how was I going
to repay her for her kindness? By stealing her boyfriend? Yeah, real nice. I knew
I couldn’t do that to her. I mean, she fought with him