think Charlie’s right. You don’t often get second chances, and the one I had I threw away. Serves me right. Maybe she won’t even remember me if I bump into her again. How embarrassing would that be?
But in my head, she knows me. Oh, does she know me. Fantasizing different scenarios with her is my new favorite pastime. I love imagining her with me in California, taking her away from this bleak and frigid scene.
***
It is just about sunset, and we are sitting on my surfboard a couple hundred yards off the beach in this perfect, secluded spot I like to go to. I have never taken any one here, not April, not anybody. But I want to share it with her.
She is in front of me, the waves gently lapping at our legs. My arms are around her waist; her back rests against my chest. Her long hair is wet, its red highlights catching the last rays of sunlight.
“ What are you thinking about?” I ask, leaning in.
“ That I hope there aren’t any sharks in this water,” she jokes.
“ I don’t know. I think I might have seen one over there,” I say while pinching her side.
“ Oh, don’t you dare!” she squeals. “You don’t want to capsize us both, do you?”
“ No, I have better things in mind,” I say.
“ Like what?” she asks, turning around. As soon as she does, I cup her face with my hand placing my lips on hers. Our kiss deepens as she slides her legs around to completely face me. She is more adept at keeping her balance than she gives herself credit for.
I feel her hands glide along my chest until she encircles my neck, pulling herself even closer. The press of her body against mine ignites my desire, but it also feels soothing, comforting. It’s this sense of peace that I crave. She is my safe place. She is my respite from the craziness of the world.
***
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
I open my eyes. Charlie is back banging on the driver’s side window. “C’mon, kid. You can’t fall asleep on the job now. We have three more hours to go.”
And just like that, it’s back to reality.
Chapter Nineteen
Katie
I sometimes wonder how I got myself into this predicament. No friends. No social life. No romantic relationships of any kind. Sure, I was voted ‘most shy’ by my high school class, but just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean I don’t have a rich inner life going on under the surface.
I was never into things other people my age were into. In high school, my classmates loved to play mindless games on their iPhones like SongPop or Words with Friends. I found them to be a waste of time. They liked to talk about what hair products or pair of shoes they were going to buy next. I never had much spending money, so I couldn’t contribute anything to the conversation. Or they obsessed over their crushes or broken hearts, but until that night in the club, I had never been kissed.
I had a few people I hung around with like Jody ‘Skeeter’ Wheeler, who never went anywhere except for school, and Tony Bianco, who ate lunch ostracized from the rest of the student body. I always felt a natural affinity for loners and rejects. It’s where I belonged. In their company, the pressure to fit in didn’t exist.
However, on the flip side, they weren’t exactly the most loyal of companions. As soon as we graduated, they never looked back. Not that I was ever in constant contact with them anyway, but I never received a phone call, text message, or email from them all summer. Once autumn arrived, I didn’t go out of my way to reach out to them, to see how their new lives were going. Frankly, I didn’t care anymore.
It is second nature for me to shut people out. I never wanted anyone to get too close to see what a wreck my family life really is. Dad certainly didn’t encourage me to invite friends over or to tie up the phone line for a marathon chat fest. Grandma wouldn’t have minded, but my at-home hours always seemed to coincide with Dad’s off-work time. He didn’t like any type of distraction when he was
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