moment, trying to distract myself from the tight feeling in my chest. I wondered how much of this work Nathan had overseen. It was so unlike him, this house. I guessed he hadn’t been around much while it was being decorated. His band’s last tour had covered the globe. I could remember the first few gigs over a year ago because he’d invited me to Tokyo for Thanksgiving. I’d had a deposition to do, so I’d requested a rain check. I felt a twinge of sadness as I thought about that now.
No! I bolted upright, swinging my legs from the sofa. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do this. If I had this baby, I wasn’t going to make it a yardstick in my life that I measured everything else against. Sure, I worked too much. Sure, I’d missed out on a lot of things because of that. Just because I was changing horses for a while didn’t mean I was out of the race. This decision didn’t render everything that had come before meaningless, or ‘inconsequential’, no matter how Nathan had decided to view it. He was a man with ten houses all across the world, houses that he’d never decorated himself or spent any length of time in. He had two hundred friends and no confidantes. He lived for his job every bit as much as I did, but he wasn’t in danger of losing his now that he had a baby in his life. He had the luxury of deciding to change because he was already successful.
Fear eclipsed me for a moment. Was I doing the right thing?
“You’ve got that look on your face again.”
My eyes flicked towards the door. He was strolling towards me, a bottle of water in one hand and a drumstick in the other. Throwing the drumstick on the opposite sofa, he sat himself down next to my and propped his feet up on the table.
I frowned. “What look?”
“That, ‘oh my God, what am I doing?’ look,” he said.
“I can’t imagine why.”
He took a swig from the bottle, watching me carefully. “Adam invited himself over.”
Adam was the bassist in the band. He and Nathan had known each other almost as long as I had known Nathan. We were friends, Adam and I, but I didn’t consider him a close friend. I’d seen Adam destroy himself with alcohol too many times to have any cohesive relationship with him. “Is he clean and sober?” I asked.
“He certainly is.” Nathan’s brows lifted. “Clean, sober, and in love, I think.”
I let the proclamation settle without comment. The happy news didn’t deserve to be spoiled by my skepticism.
“He’s bringing her with him. Rosalind,” Nathan said. “She’s a model.”
This, I couldn’t let pass. “How original.”
Nathan laughed. “It’s biology. Men like pretty girls. They aim as high they can.”
“Is that why you decided to manage a band? To get girls?” I tucked my legs up underneath me, amazed that I’d never asked him this before.
“No.” He shook his head. “I had no problems getting girls before I started managing a band.”
I laughed aloud.
Restless, he clasped my hand in his and played with my fingers. “Don’t pretend you didn’t get off on the whole band thing. You were in full groupie mode when you arrived backstage on campus-”
“I was looking for my coat and Jack – Jim - ‘whatever-his-name-was’ introduced us!” I stared at him, open-mouthed in amused indignation. “I was too square and studious to be a groupie. I thought you were cute, but not because you were with a band. I wasn’t even there for most of the time they were playing.”
“You weren’t?” He frowned in disappointment before his gaze narrowed with mistrust. “You know, all the groupies say that. They pretend to be nonchalant about the band thing.”
“Can we not talk about the groupies?” I snatched my hand back.
His expression remained narrow on me. “I don’t sleep with groupies, you know,” he said.
“You told me last night you hadn’t been a saint on tour. What did that mean?”
He sighed deeply. “It didn’t mean anything. Other than ...
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