she shouted out for me. I've done my best but my patience is starting to wear thin. She's just milking it now, trying to keep me in here as long as she can.
'So why were they fighting, Daddy?' she asks (again).
'Ellis,' I sigh, 'I've already told you a hundred times, I don't know.'
'Have they stopped now?'
'I'm sure they have. The police would have stopped them.'
'Would they?'
'Yes, that's what the police do.'
'Did one of the men get hurt?'
'Yes.'
'Will he be in hospital now?'
'Yes,' I answer. I don't tell her that he's probably in the hospital morgue.
The questions suddenly stop. She's tired. I can see her eyelids starting to flutter. She's going to sleep but she's going to fight it all the way. I should wait until I'm sure she's gone but I'm desperate to get out of here now. I slide along the bed, get up carefully and then begin to edge towards the door. She stirs and looks up and I freeze.
'What about my chips?' she mumbles, her voice slow and drowsy.
'What about them?' I ask, moving away again.
'I didn't finish them.'
'None of us finished our food. Mummy and Daddy didn't finish either.'
'Will they still be there?'
'Will who still be there?'
'My chips.'
'I doubt it.'
'Has someone else eaten them?'
'No, they'd have gone cold by now. Someone will have thrown them away.'
'Can we go back tomorrow and see?'
'No.'
'Why not? I want to finish my chips…'
'Ellis,' I interrupt.
'What?'
'Shut up and go to sleep please.'
I've finally reached the door. I flick the light-switch off and wait for her to react. She doesn't. The only light in the room now comes in from the hallway. I can still see her shuffling around in bed but I know she'll be asleep in a few minutes.
'Night, Daddy,' she yawns.
'Night, sweetheart.'
I'm about to leave when she speaks again.
'Is he dead, Daddy?'
What do I say to that? Do I tell her the truth or do I lie to save more questions and reassure my little girl? I'm a coward. I sit on the fence.
'I don't know,' I mumble quickly. 'Goodnight.'
I wait for a little while longer until I'm sure she's asleep. Finally free but exhausted I drag myself down the corridor towards the living room. Halfway through the weekend and I don't feel like I've had any chance to relax yet. There's a film on tonight that Liz and I wanted to watch. After the last couple of days it will be good just to sit down together and relax for a while.
I look around the living room door and see that Lizzie is asleep. She's sprawled out along the full length of the sofa snoring. I'm disappointed but not surprised. I fetch myself a drink and something to eat from the kitchen before finding somewhere to sit and watch the TV. The other seats are piled high with the children's toys and clean washing waiting to be put away. I can't be bothered to move any of it. I sit down on the floor in front of the sofa.
Now I can't find the remote control. I upend most of the washing and turf through the toys but I can't find the damn thing anywhere. I bet one of the kids has hidden it. Josh has a habit of putting things in the bin. I check through the rubbish then under all the chairs and the sofa. When I'm on the verge of giving up I finally spot the end of it peeking out from underneath Lizzie. She's fallen asleep on top of it. I pull it out from under her. She grunts and rolls over onto her back but she doesn't wake up.
Just in time. Seconds to spare and I'm finally there. I change the channel and sit back to enjoy the film. Looks like it's already begun. Actually, it looks like it's been on for a while. I check the TV listings. Bloody thing started three quarters of an hour ago.
Saturday nights are beginning
'So why were they fighting, Daddy?' she asks (again).
'Ellis,' I sigh, 'I've already told you a hundred times, I don't know.'
'Have they stopped now?'
'I'm sure they have. The police would have stopped them.'
'Would they?'
'Yes, that's what the police do.'
'Did one of the men get hurt?'
'Yes.'
'Will he be in hospital now?'
'Yes,' I answer. I don't tell her that he's probably in the hospital morgue.
The questions suddenly stop. She's tired. I can see her eyelids starting to flutter. She's going to sleep but she's going to fight it all the way. I should wait until I'm sure she's gone but I'm desperate to get out of here now. I slide along the bed, get up carefully and then begin to edge towards the door. She stirs and looks up and I freeze.
'What about my chips?' she mumbles, her voice slow and drowsy.
'What about them?' I ask, moving away again.
'I didn't finish them.'
'None of us finished our food. Mummy and Daddy didn't finish either.'
'Will they still be there?'
'Will who still be there?'
'My chips.'
'I doubt it.'
'Has someone else eaten them?'
'No, they'd have gone cold by now. Someone will have thrown them away.'
'Can we go back tomorrow and see?'
'No.'
'Why not? I want to finish my chips…'
'Ellis,' I interrupt.
'What?'
'Shut up and go to sleep please.'
I've finally reached the door. I flick the light-switch off and wait for her to react. She doesn't. The only light in the room now comes in from the hallway. I can still see her shuffling around in bed but I know she'll be asleep in a few minutes.
'Night, Daddy,' she yawns.
'Night, sweetheart.'
I'm about to leave when she speaks again.
'Is he dead, Daddy?'
What do I say to that? Do I tell her the truth or do I lie to save more questions and reassure my little girl? I'm a coward. I sit on the fence.
'I don't know,' I mumble quickly. 'Goodnight.'
I wait for a little while longer until I'm sure she's asleep. Finally free but exhausted I drag myself down the corridor towards the living room. Halfway through the weekend and I don't feel like I've had any chance to relax yet. There's a film on tonight that Liz and I wanted to watch. After the last couple of days it will be good just to sit down together and relax for a while.
I look around the living room door and see that Lizzie is asleep. She's sprawled out along the full length of the sofa snoring. I'm disappointed but not surprised. I fetch myself a drink and something to eat from the kitchen before finding somewhere to sit and watch the TV. The other seats are piled high with the children's toys and clean washing waiting to be put away. I can't be bothered to move any of it. I sit down on the floor in front of the sofa.
Now I can't find the remote control. I upend most of the washing and turf through the toys but I can't find the damn thing anywhere. I bet one of the kids has hidden it. Josh has a habit of putting things in the bin. I check through the rubbish then under all the chairs and the sofa. When I'm on the verge of giving up I finally spot the end of it peeking out from underneath Lizzie. She's fallen asleep on top of it. I pull it out from under her. She grunts and rolls over onto her back but she doesn't wake up.
Just in time. Seconds to spare and I'm finally there. I change the channel and sit back to enjoy the film. Looks like it's already begun. Actually, it looks like it's been on for a while. I check the TV listings. Bloody thing started three quarters of an hour ago.
Saturday nights are beginning
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