Chapter One
My freshman year at Montgomery University wasn’t going to be easy. I wasn’t even in class before the whispers began. The back of my neck burned, but I kept walking in my high heels. I pretended I didn’t care what these people thought of me. I passed the hallways without having to confront anyone, but it was when I was waiting for my English Lit class to begin, that I knew trouble started heading my way, and she began with J. Jennifer and I used to be friends a long time ago, until her mother stopped associating with mine, and in return, Jennifer stopped associating with me. I understood the reasons for it, and I was Okay with her not talking to me anymore. What I didn’t understand, is why she kept making my life hell. We went to the same school and because of her, I’d had to drop out and continue with my studies at home. It had taken years for me to be normal around people. This time I wasn’t going to let her chase me out again. I wouldn’t stand by and be bullied or think I deserved it. Only one person in the world had the right to hate me.
‘What?’ I heard. I barely resisted the urge to look back and see if they were pointing at me.
‘No way. S eriously? Ew.’
I turned my head towards the three girls gossiping about me.
Jennifer gave me a false smile. ‘Hey Amanda, how’s your family? I heard your mother’s dating again. Don’t tell me she’s going to marry another weirdo.’
If I wanted to show them, they couldn’t hurt me, I had to hurt them first. I looked at Jennifer and smiled sweetly, ‘Hey, Jen,’ I said, ‘Retch up anything lately?’
J ennifer paled at my comment.Nobody sniggered, or laughed. Her friends surrounded her in support. They shielded her from me, like she was some kind of victim. Yeah, it may have been a low blow on my part to out her as bulimic, but she started it first.
The English Lit P rofessor arrived. He opened the lecture room with a key. I followed after Jennifer but I sat far away from her and her group of friends. She was already popular. As for me, I hadn’t even had a chance to make friends. By now, the whole campus would know about me. I sat near the far back. I listened to the English Professor as he introduced himself.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ said a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. The last time I had seen him had been five years ago.
‘Ta ke a seat,’ the professor said.
Jack’s brilliant blue eyes scanned the room and rested on me. I don’t know who was more shocked: me or him. I looked away in shame, but I had caught his hate filled eyes. Jack chose to take the seat behind me on the last row. I don’t know if he was doing it to torment me or if it was over-thinking on my part.
Professor Mitchell said, ‘I’d like you to introduce yourself to your partner.’
I faced Jack because I had no choice. I wished we hadn’t gone to the same school. I wished we had never met. It was too late for any of those things. I had ruined this boy’s life and his family. ‘I’m Amanda Lowell,’ I said weakly.
Jack’s voice was cold as he said his name, ‘Jack.’
I knew his surname as well as my own, but I was pretending not to, because we were both playing this game of not knowing the other and acting like we were meeting for the first time.
‘I can’t do this,’ Jack said on a choked whisper. He turned away from me.
I licked my dry lips. ‘Jack…’
‘Don’t say my name. Don’t look at me and don’t fucking talk to me.’
I flinched at the harshness in his voice. The people at the front row were already speaking to the rest of the class about the person sitting next them. I dreaded my moment and couldn't decide whether I just wanted it to be over and done with, or if I wanted to prolong my humiliation.
When it was my turn, I was e mbarrassed I couldn’t say simple things like Jack’s favourite colour, or what music he listened to. All I could say was his name. ‘This is Jack Daniels as in the
My freshman year at Montgomery University wasn’t going to be easy. I wasn’t even in class before the whispers began. The back of my neck burned, but I kept walking in my high heels. I pretended I didn’t care what these people thought of me. I passed the hallways without having to confront anyone, but it was when I was waiting for my English Lit class to begin, that I knew trouble started heading my way, and she began with J. Jennifer and I used to be friends a long time ago, until her mother stopped associating with mine, and in return, Jennifer stopped associating with me. I understood the reasons for it, and I was Okay with her not talking to me anymore. What I didn’t understand, is why she kept making my life hell. We went to the same school and because of her, I’d had to drop out and continue with my studies at home. It had taken years for me to be normal around people. This time I wasn’t going to let her chase me out again. I wouldn’t stand by and be bullied or think I deserved it. Only one person in the world had the right to hate me.
‘What?’ I heard. I barely resisted the urge to look back and see if they were pointing at me.
‘No way. S eriously? Ew.’
I turned my head towards the three girls gossiping about me.
Jennifer gave me a false smile. ‘Hey Amanda, how’s your family? I heard your mother’s dating again. Don’t tell me she’s going to marry another weirdo.’
If I wanted to show them, they couldn’t hurt me, I had to hurt them first. I looked at Jennifer and smiled sweetly, ‘Hey, Jen,’ I said, ‘Retch up anything lately?’
J ennifer paled at my comment.Nobody sniggered, or laughed. Her friends surrounded her in support. They shielded her from me, like she was some kind of victim. Yeah, it may have been a low blow on my part to out her as bulimic, but she started it first.
The English Lit P rofessor arrived. He opened the lecture room with a key. I followed after Jennifer but I sat far away from her and her group of friends. She was already popular. As for me, I hadn’t even had a chance to make friends. By now, the whole campus would know about me. I sat near the far back. I listened to the English Professor as he introduced himself.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ said a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. The last time I had seen him had been five years ago.
‘Ta ke a seat,’ the professor said.
Jack’s brilliant blue eyes scanned the room and rested on me. I don’t know who was more shocked: me or him. I looked away in shame, but I had caught his hate filled eyes. Jack chose to take the seat behind me on the last row. I don’t know if he was doing it to torment me or if it was over-thinking on my part.
Professor Mitchell said, ‘I’d like you to introduce yourself to your partner.’
I faced Jack because I had no choice. I wished we hadn’t gone to the same school. I wished we had never met. It was too late for any of those things. I had ruined this boy’s life and his family. ‘I’m Amanda Lowell,’ I said weakly.
Jack’s voice was cold as he said his name, ‘Jack.’
I knew his surname as well as my own, but I was pretending not to, because we were both playing this game of not knowing the other and acting like we were meeting for the first time.
‘I can’t do this,’ Jack said on a choked whisper. He turned away from me.
I licked my dry lips. ‘Jack…’
‘Don’t say my name. Don’t look at me and don’t fucking talk to me.’
I flinched at the harshness in his voice. The people at the front row were already speaking to the rest of the class about the person sitting next them. I dreaded my moment and couldn't decide whether I just wanted it to be over and done with, or if I wanted to prolong my humiliation.
When it was my turn, I was e mbarrassed I couldn’t say simple things like Jack’s favourite colour, or what music he listened to. All I could say was his name. ‘This is Jack Daniels as in the
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