Read Online Hastur Lord by Marion Zimmer Bradley - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Marion Zimmer Bradley
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willing to use any means necessary to seize power . . .
He came back to himself as Linnea picked up her ryll and tested the tuning of the strings. She picked out the melody of an old lullaby, a tune so haunting that Regis wondered if he had heard it in his dreams. She sang in a light but pleasant voice. Then she shifted into a walking song with a strong rhythm, and Regis sang along, while Danilo accompanied them on a small drum.
Eventually, the silences between songs lengthened. Regis noted that Danilo was yawning. “Go to bed before you fall over.”
“I’m all right.”
“I’m in no danger here, and you’re done in. I don’t want to have to carry you.”
Danilo’s gaze flickered to Linnea, sitting with her ryll on her lap.
Are we going to argue because I want a little time with the mother of my daughter? Regis thought.
Danilo pushed himself to his feet. “I’ll be off, then. Vai leronis, ” he bowed to Linnea. “Regis.”
After Danilo had departed, Linnea set her harp in its case. “He has no reason to be jealous of me.”
“Protective, I think.”
She sighed. “Do you remember how we teased him about sleeping across the threshold of our door?”
“Come here.” Regis held out his hand to her and indicated the place on the divan beside him. “I remember what happened behind those closed doors.”
She came to him, still holding herself apart, but smiling now. “It was glorious, that brief time. I regret none of it. How could I, every time I see Stelli?”
Regis remembered when, in a gesture of compassion and openness of heart, Linnea had offered to give him children to replace those murdered by the World Wreckers. Then, as now, he had thought that a child by her would be precious beyond words.
“I do not regret it, either,” he said in a voice made hoarse by emotion. “It is said that when we love someone, they become part of us forever.”
What was this fey, romantic mood that had taken hold of him? He felt the yearning harmonics of the ballad thrumming beneath the beating of his heart. On impulse, he said, “Could we ever get it back, do you think?”
She turned to him, gray eyes wide with surprise. His question had caught her off guard. No, he told himself silently, it had caught both of them unprepared and open.
“I—I don’t know. Such things do happen. Regis, please don’t toy with me. You know I loved you, and I love you still. And I know that your first, your primary love will always be Danilo.”
“Is that why you left Thendara? Because you could not share me? Was the love I was able to give you not enough?”
Linnea shook her head, refusing to be drawn into a quarrel. “No, it is not that. I simply—” She got up, restless yet still too much in command of herself to give way to pacing. “I wanted more. I thought we loved each other in those first days enough to find our way through any difficulty. How little I knew! It was my first serious love affair and, I suspect, yours with a woman. I didn’t anticipate how intense the feelings would be, how sweet, how overwhelming. I think we both went a little mad. I didn’t think . . .” Now she turned back to him. Shadows of remembered pain cloaked her eyes.
“I didn’t measure what I would lose against what I would gain. In the end, it wasn’t enough.”
“I don’t understand,” he said. “You have our daughter and as much of my heart as I am capable of offering to any woman. Is that not sufficient?”
Too late, after the words were said, Regis realized what she had given up. She had been a Keeper, one of the few elite Tower workers capable of occupying the centripolar position in a matrix circle. Through her supple, disciplined mind had run the interwoven psychic powers of every member of the circle. Their lives as well as their sanity had been in her keeping. Once, Keepers had been revered as gods, living apart and virgin, immune to normal human warmth. For a man to lift a hand to a Keeper or even assault her
He came back to himself as Linnea picked up her ryll and tested the tuning of the strings. She picked out the melody of an old lullaby, a tune so haunting that Regis wondered if he had heard it in his dreams. She sang in a light but pleasant voice. Then she shifted into a walking song with a strong rhythm, and Regis sang along, while Danilo accompanied them on a small drum.
Eventually, the silences between songs lengthened. Regis noted that Danilo was yawning. “Go to bed before you fall over.”
“I’m all right.”
“I’m in no danger here, and you’re done in. I don’t want to have to carry you.”
Danilo’s gaze flickered to Linnea, sitting with her ryll on her lap.
Are we going to argue because I want a little time with the mother of my daughter? Regis thought.
Danilo pushed himself to his feet. “I’ll be off, then. Vai leronis, ” he bowed to Linnea. “Regis.”
After Danilo had departed, Linnea set her harp in its case. “He has no reason to be jealous of me.”
“Protective, I think.”
She sighed. “Do you remember how we teased him about sleeping across the threshold of our door?”
“Come here.” Regis held out his hand to her and indicated the place on the divan beside him. “I remember what happened behind those closed doors.”
She came to him, still holding herself apart, but smiling now. “It was glorious, that brief time. I regret none of it. How could I, every time I see Stelli?”
Regis remembered when, in a gesture of compassion and openness of heart, Linnea had offered to give him children to replace those murdered by the World Wreckers. Then, as now, he had thought that a child by her would be precious beyond words.
“I do not regret it, either,” he said in a voice made hoarse by emotion. “It is said that when we love someone, they become part of us forever.”
What was this fey, romantic mood that had taken hold of him? He felt the yearning harmonics of the ballad thrumming beneath the beating of his heart. On impulse, he said, “Could we ever get it back, do you think?”
She turned to him, gray eyes wide with surprise. His question had caught her off guard. No, he told himself silently, it had caught both of them unprepared and open.
“I—I don’t know. Such things do happen. Regis, please don’t toy with me. You know I loved you, and I love you still. And I know that your first, your primary love will always be Danilo.”
“Is that why you left Thendara? Because you could not share me? Was the love I was able to give you not enough?”
Linnea shook her head, refusing to be drawn into a quarrel. “No, it is not that. I simply—” She got up, restless yet still too much in command of herself to give way to pacing. “I wanted more. I thought we loved each other in those first days enough to find our way through any difficulty. How little I knew! It was my first serious love affair and, I suspect, yours with a woman. I didn’t anticipate how intense the feelings would be, how sweet, how overwhelming. I think we both went a little mad. I didn’t think . . .” Now she turned back to him. Shadows of remembered pain cloaked her eyes.
“I didn’t measure what I would lose against what I would gain. In the end, it wasn’t enough.”
“I don’t understand,” he said. “You have our daughter and as much of my heart as I am capable of offering to any woman. Is that not sufficient?”
Too late, after the words were said, Regis realized what she had given up. She had been a Keeper, one of the few elite Tower workers capable of occupying the centripolar position in a matrix circle. Through her supple, disciplined mind had run the interwoven psychic powers of every member of the circle. Their lives as well as their sanity had been in her keeping. Once, Keepers had been revered as gods, living apart and virgin, immune to normal human warmth. For a man to lift a hand to a Keeper or even assault her
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