we’re on our way to dangling five hundred feet in the air, you might want to skip that story retell for now.”
A short laugh. “It wasn’t from any dysfunction with the equipment or anything. It was my riding partner.” I wasn’t sure how I’d let my mind slip to James. I was usually better at blocking him out completely. I could feel Ledger looking at the side of my face waiting for me to tell my story. Before I knew it, it rolled out. “I was on this ride with my ex—” I stopped short, nearly with a gasp, when it occurred to me that I hadn’t yet mentioned an ex-husband to Ledger. It was a good thing to get out in the open, in case it mattered. I hoped that it wouldn’t, but I needed to tell him in case things grew more serious.
I turned to face him. There was no look of surprise or anger or disappointment. It was just Ledger, listening with interest. Something he was good at.
“Probably should have told you this earlier, but a while back, I was married.” Our bucket rolled up and then stopped abruptly for the next riders to get on. “It was the biggest mistake of my life. That horrible carnival ride was just one of many incidents that should have been red flags for me not to marry him. That day, he was pissed at me about something, can’t even remember what. He got jealous easily, and if he thought I was too friendly with another guy, he’d fly into a rage. We got on the ride and were on the way up. He started rocking the bucket back and forth just to scare me. At first I laughed, a scared laugh, like the kind you get when you’re walking through a Halloween haunted house. But he kept going. And he was a big guy. I could hear all the nuts and bolts squeaking as if they might give way. I pleaded with him to stop but he ignored me. By the time we reached the top, I was crying hysterically, begging him to stop. But he kept it up, completely amused at how terrified I’d become. He was always wrong for me. I just never saw it until it was too late.”
Ledger’s mouth tightened into a grim line as I told the story. I ended my story quickly, deciding I’d said enough. I wasn’t completely sure why he’d grown so tense. “Guess I shouldn’t have shared that. As Rachel likes to say, the number one rule of dating should be no talking about the ex.”
“It doesn’t bother me. I just wish I could have known you then. I wish I could have stopped him for you.” He said it calmly, but it seemed his jaw was tight over the words as he spoke. It was a strange response, and one that I hadn’t expected.
He was still looking at me, but his expression lost the hard edge my story had caused. He reached over and ran his fingertips along the side of my face. My eyes closed unexpectedly. His fingers were dry and callused from work, but they felt like a soft caress. A gentle touch from a man who looked anything but gentle, it was a contradiction that I felt deep in my chest.
I opened my eyes when his hand fell away from my face. He was still gazing at me in that way that made me feel as if I was worthy of being loved.
The ride jerked me from my thoughts as our seat rolled up again. We were dangling far above the carnival. The loud voices and the mix of sweet, spicy and smoky aromas faded away.
Ledger leaned to the side and looked down. “I think we’re at the perfect place.”
“For what?”
He turned his body more toward me. I held my breath, hoping he’d touch me again.
“For this.” He lifted his hand and cupped the side of my chin as his thumb ran across my bottom lip. Then he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against mine. The kiss was as gentle as his caress. But I could feel power behind it. He was holding back as if I was a piece of porcelain, ready to break into a million pieces. It was as if when he looked at me with those brown eyes, he could see right into that permanent dark spot in my heart and see it all. It was as if he knew everything.
He lifted his face. “Should have thought
A short laugh. “It wasn’t from any dysfunction with the equipment or anything. It was my riding partner.” I wasn’t sure how I’d let my mind slip to James. I was usually better at blocking him out completely. I could feel Ledger looking at the side of my face waiting for me to tell my story. Before I knew it, it rolled out. “I was on this ride with my ex—” I stopped short, nearly with a gasp, when it occurred to me that I hadn’t yet mentioned an ex-husband to Ledger. It was a good thing to get out in the open, in case it mattered. I hoped that it wouldn’t, but I needed to tell him in case things grew more serious.
I turned to face him. There was no look of surprise or anger or disappointment. It was just Ledger, listening with interest. Something he was good at.
“Probably should have told you this earlier, but a while back, I was married.” Our bucket rolled up and then stopped abruptly for the next riders to get on. “It was the biggest mistake of my life. That horrible carnival ride was just one of many incidents that should have been red flags for me not to marry him. That day, he was pissed at me about something, can’t even remember what. He got jealous easily, and if he thought I was too friendly with another guy, he’d fly into a rage. We got on the ride and were on the way up. He started rocking the bucket back and forth just to scare me. At first I laughed, a scared laugh, like the kind you get when you’re walking through a Halloween haunted house. But he kept going. And he was a big guy. I could hear all the nuts and bolts squeaking as if they might give way. I pleaded with him to stop but he ignored me. By the time we reached the top, I was crying hysterically, begging him to stop. But he kept it up, completely amused at how terrified I’d become. He was always wrong for me. I just never saw it until it was too late.”
Ledger’s mouth tightened into a grim line as I told the story. I ended my story quickly, deciding I’d said enough. I wasn’t completely sure why he’d grown so tense. “Guess I shouldn’t have shared that. As Rachel likes to say, the number one rule of dating should be no talking about the ex.”
“It doesn’t bother me. I just wish I could have known you then. I wish I could have stopped him for you.” He said it calmly, but it seemed his jaw was tight over the words as he spoke. It was a strange response, and one that I hadn’t expected.
He was still looking at me, but his expression lost the hard edge my story had caused. He reached over and ran his fingertips along the side of my face. My eyes closed unexpectedly. His fingers were dry and callused from work, but they felt like a soft caress. A gentle touch from a man who looked anything but gentle, it was a contradiction that I felt deep in my chest.
I opened my eyes when his hand fell away from my face. He was still gazing at me in that way that made me feel as if I was worthy of being loved.
The ride jerked me from my thoughts as our seat rolled up again. We were dangling far above the carnival. The loud voices and the mix of sweet, spicy and smoky aromas faded away.
Ledger leaned to the side and looked down. “I think we’re at the perfect place.”
“For what?”
He turned his body more toward me. I held my breath, hoping he’d touch me again.
“For this.” He lifted his hand and cupped the side of my chin as his thumb ran across my bottom lip. Then he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against mine. The kiss was as gentle as his caress. But I could feel power behind it. He was holding back as if I was a piece of porcelain, ready to break into a million pieces. It was as if when he looked at me with those brown eyes, he could see right into that permanent dark spot in my heart and see it all. It was as if he knew everything.
He lifted his face. “Should have thought
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