Read Online Hard As Rock by Olivia Thorne - Free Book Online Page B

meant – I was talking about you work hard to pay for it.”
    He smiled. “I know what you meant. I still got lucky, though. There’s a million guys my age in bands still working as barbacks or convenience store clerks, playing a show a week, hoping to get their big break… and for most of them, it’ll never come.”
    His words made me think of him and Derek, starting out in Athens… and once I thought of Derek, I got all depressed and sad.
    Ryan immediately realized the effect he’d had on me. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring… that up.”
    I shook my head as I stared down at my food. “I’m okay.”
    “Are you?”
    I looked up at him. He was peering at me intently.
    I forced a smile. “I’m fine.”
    “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to… but you don’t have to pretend, okay? Not with me. I know what you’re going through. You don’t have to put on a brave face all the time.”
    Something about his kindness… his gentleness… allowed my guard to come down. Without a second thought, the tears began to flow down my cheeks.
    “I just… I hurt all the time,” I cried quietly. “And I don’t understand why he’d do that to me if he loved me. If he even cared about me.”
    Ryan pulled his chair right up next to mine and hugged me. I buried my face in his chest and just let myself go, my entire body wracked with sobs. We must have sat like that for five minutes, him just holding me, letting me get it out, just letting me be.
    Finally I had cried myself out. I pulled away, embarrassed. “I’m sorry… your food’s going to be cold…”
    “I don’t care about that. I care about you. ”
    I looked up at him, and suddenly I felt horrible. I knew why he was doing all this, and I felt guilty that I couldn’t return his feelings.
    “Ryan…” I said softly.
    He smiled at me, like he knew exactly what I was thinking – and that I was a bit silly for thinking it.
    It was weird. I’d never been with anybody who got me that way before – that clearly, that easily. That completely. Like he could read my mind.
    “Kaitlyn, I know what the score is. I’m not asking for anything but your friendship, and that’s all I’ll ever ask for, okay? So quit worrying about whatever you’re worrying about, and just take care of yourself and heal, alright?”
    I sighed deep and long. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
    “As long as you stay my friend, there’s no way you possibly can. So just let me be a friend to you, and don’t worry about anything else, okay?”
    God.
    Two different men in my life… two entirelydifferent levels of character and integrity.
    For the second time in the last week, I wished that I hadn’t met Derek first.
    “…okay,” I relented.
    “And we have to get you out of those ‘fancy’ clothes and into something a little more country,” he said, affecting a country twang on ‘fancy’ and ‘country.’
    I was taking a sip of coffee when he said it. I laughed and ended up snorting a little out my nose.
    “Oh, you’re country already,” he teased. “No manners at all.”
    I threw a wadded-up napkin at him. Then we returned to our breakfast and a lot of easy conversation that had nothing to do with rock bands, or touring, or unfaithful lead singers.

20
    The day passed quickly. After we cleaned the dishes, Ryan took me out to the barn to see the horses. I am not a horse chick, just so you know. Never even wanted a pony growing up. But I enjoyed watching Ryan with them. He was so familiar and relaxed, feeding them each a carrot as a treat. He offered to let me try it, but I was too afraid of those giant chompers taking off a couple knuckles.
    “Maybe we can take them out riding later,” he said as he rubbed the mane of Bessie, a sweet little chestnut mare.
    “Um…”
    “You’ve never ridden before?”
    “No.”
    “I’ll teach you. There’s nothing to it. Bessie’s gentle, it’ll be easy.”
    “…if you say so…”
    Then we left the barn and