Read Online Happily Ever Madder: Misadventures of a Mad Fat Girl by Stephanie McAfee - Free Book Online Page B

work.”
    “Me, too,” Connor says, tossing his basket of chicken bones in the trash. “Very much enjoyed it, Ace!” He gives Allison a devilish grin, then walks out of the conference room.
    “Yes, thank you so much for bringing dinner,” Allison says sweetly, getting up. “And thanks for calling to see what I wanted. I appreciate it.”
    “Don’t mention it, Allison,” I say, thinking that no one in their right mind would bring hot wings to a girl like Allison Dexter McCall.
    “And I’m sorry you had to witness my barbarous husband sucking chicken meat off a bone,” she says and shivers at the thought. “He’s so disgusting.”
    “Aw, that’s why you love him, Allison,” Mason says.
    “Maybe,” she says with a smile. “Maybe not!” She looks back at me. “Good night, Ace.”
    “Night,” I say, and she disappears into the hallway.
    Mason helps me clear off our side of the table, and then I follow him down to his office.
    “I forgot to tell you about the unusual visitor who stopped by the house yesterday,” I say, easing into one of the two fancy chairs opposite his desk. “She said her name was Margo something. Buster Loo hated her. He got really upset.”
    “You must be referring to Margo Kill-Switch,” he says and starts laughing.
    “Oh, is that how you pronounce it?”
    “Nah, that’s just what everyone calls her behind her back.” He looks at me. “What the hell did she want? Is our grass trimmed too tall or too short?”
    “She said she was out reminding everyone about the quarterly homeowners’ association meeting—”
    “Shit! That’s tonight, isn’t it? Those damn signs are everywhere.” He glances down at his watch. “I don’t guess you’d want to go for me, would you? You’d have to be there in twenty minutes.”
    “I’d hate to, but I will if it’d help you out.”
    “It would
really
help me out. I don’t give a shit about her, but I don’t want to come off as disrespectful toward my neighbors, you know?”
    “Okay,” I say, thinking about how much fun that
won’t
be, but happy to be doing something for Mason besides delivering food to his office.
    “There’ll be some normal people there,” he says. “I promise that all of our neighbors aren’t like her. Thank God.”
    “Yeah, I’ve met some nice folks since I’ve been here,” I say. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’ve got you covered.”
    “Baby, I appreciate it so much.” He looks down at his watch, so I get up, and then he walks me down the hallway to the back door. “You’re the best,” he says, giving me a quick hug and a kiss. I get in my car, not believing that I have to go sit through a damn HOA meeting.
    “Shoulda kept my damn mouth shut about Margo,” I mumble as I pull out of the parking lot.

10

    I pull up in the driveway and Buster Loo is waiting at the front door, no doubt wondering why he’s been having so much doggie alone time lately. I go inside and pick him up, pet him for a minute, then apologize for having to leave again so soon. He looks crushed as I walk out the door, and I get even more irritated that I have to go to this stupid meeting. When I get outside, I see several neighbors going the same way, and the whole scene, taken in from a distance, reminds me of a herd of zombies walking as if they’ve already lost their souls.
    When I get to the clubhouse, I survey the crowd and pick a seat next to Don and Becky Collins, who live across the street from us.
    “First meeting?” Mr. Collins asks.
    “Yes,” I say, then explain that Mason won’t be here because he has to work late.
    “Well, this is nonsense, if you ask me. He’s trying to make a living and these people think we have nothing better to do than line up and listen to their stupid shit.”
    “Don Collins!” Becky, says. “Watch your mouth!”
    Don leans over to me and whispers, “I’ve been out of the navy for fifteen years and I’ve still got better things to do than come to these damn