on the door behind me. Drake closes his open mouth. “What’d she do?” I push away from the vibrating door. “Came on to me.” “ And that’s bad?” some guy asks as I pass him. “ Dude,” Drake says. “He’s in love with Paige.” “ Oh yeah, Paige is hot. Those legs are smoking h—” I whip around. He swallows. “I mean pretty. She’s a very pretty…” Drake laughs. “Yeah Jimmy, shutting your mouth might be a wise choice at the moment.” I turn my back on the continued stares and go to my room. This time I lock the door. At the edge of the bed, I sit with my head in my hands. This is bad. Real bad. Paige is going to flip. I lift my head and my half-written message stares at me. A desolate laugh escapes me. I asked her to be honest with me. I’ve always been honest with her. I reach for the laptop. It’s going to kill me, but I’m not going to stop now.
~11~ Paige
Time has stopped. My hands clench tightly in my lap. I stare at the swarm of words in Zach’s email as my world feels like it’s falling apart. I imagine her in his room, on his bed, and I want to vomit. Although he says he threw her out, the images won’t get out of my head. Old doubts knot in my chest. Did he really tell me everything? Did something else happen in his room? Is there more than the ugly words of his message? His admission of idiocy doesn’t soothe me. His confirmation I was right all along doesn’t help. I feel like I’m at the end of my thread. Dangling below what my life is and slowly falling into what it used to be. Life has gone from almost perfect to suck in the span of an email message. My hands unclench and time moves again. Standing then pacing, I take deep breaths. I try to block the image of them together in his room with memories. Zach surprising me with a picnic for my birthday. Horseback riding at my cousin’s ranch one sunny Sunday afternoon. Him carrying Emily after a long day at the beach. The feel of his arms around me. The pressure of his hand in mine. The sensual weight of his lips. His patience with me. His honesty. His ever-present integrity. The timbre of his voice when he tells me he loves me. Even after all of those memories, the ugly image of Amanda on his bed stays locked in my head. I let out a sob and fall to the small couch in the middle of the room. Why couldn’t she leave me alone? Is her life meaningless to her without being able to grind me into the dirt? Does she run on bitch fuel? Someone knocks on my door. I ignore it. They knock harder. I ignore it. “ Paige?” Bret says loud enough for me to hear. At the sound of his voice, a friend’s voice, I stumble to the door. His brows rise at the sight of my tear stained face. “What happened?” Another sob escapes me. “My boyfriend…” “ Oh Paige,” he says in a soft voice then steps into the room and pulls me into his arms. “Did you break up?” he asks while I continue to sob. I shake my head against his shoulder. He smells heavily of cologne. I don’t care. It just feels good not to be alone right now. He brushes hair out of my face. “Then what’s the matter?” “ Him, my ex best friend…” Pressed into his t-shirt the words come out muffled. “ So he cheated?” I shake my head. “I don’t think so. It’s just—it’s just that she tried and…” I’m not going to explain my relationship with Amanda to Bret. It was hard enough explaining it to Zach. “It brought a lot of old ugly feelings up.” He tugs me by the hand toward the couch. Along the way, he grabs the box of tissues from the desk. He pushes a tissue in my hand. “You’re sure he didn’t do anything with her?” I pause, pressing the tissue to my cheek. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” He leans closer to me. His green eyes narrow. “One hundred percent sure?” “ He’s not like that. We’re…he’s just not like that.” My voice cracks on the last word because Bret’s persistence is widening the crack