Read Online Handle with Care by Emily Porterfield - Free Book Online

swiftly.
     
    “She
was so much more than I could have ever dreamed of. On top of that, she was a
wonderful mother.” His voice trembled as he took a step back toward Abby. “And
do you want to know when I figured all of that out?”
     
    Abby
did her best to maintain eye contact despite the raw emotion and fury flooding
his gaze. “I figured it all out after her casket was in the ground. Because when
she was alive, I was too damn busy to even notice! I was too focused on
everything I needed to control, to mold into what I wanted, to even appreciate
the amazing woman I had the dumb luck of marrying. So don't tell me I think
helping you heal will somehow allay the truth of my own stupidity.” Craig
deflated before her eyes as he had spoken. Baring himself, cutting open his own
heart to show Abby the truth of his loss.
     
    Spent,
he continued in a softer voice, “She lived and she died. My biggest regret is I
let those precious moments pass me by, as if they were nothing… as if a kiss
from her could be routine, as if her love and loyalty was something I expected,
instead of savored. So, yes, when I look at you,” he swallowed thickly as he
swept his gaze over Abby, still confused by the emotions she stirred up within
him, “I am thinking of Rachel, but only because I know not to make the same
mistake twice.”
     
    Abby's
eyes flooded with tears as he reached up to cup her cheek with his palm. “But
that's it, Craig, I'm none of those things. I appreciate the generosity of your
affection, of your attention… But, no matter what you tell yourself, it’s never
going to change who I am or what I've done.”
     
    Craig
smiled sadly into her eyes and studied her intently. “One of these days, and
hopefully soon, you’re going to realize there’s nothing about you that needs to
be changed, Abby. Because when I look at you, I see truth. When you look at
yourself, all you see are the lies they’ve fed you.”
     
    Abby
was silent as she stared into his eyes. His words were deep, sweet and loving;
she wanted to believe them. She wanted to return to a place where she believed
in herself, where she thought she deserved love and would eventually have it.
Yet, her life’s plan, and every girlish dream, had come to a screeching halt.
     
    “What
I did -” she gasped, her body shaking with each word she spoke.
     
    “What
he did,” Craig corrected her sternly while sliding his hand along the small of
her back, swaying her body closer to his, so she could not look away. “What he did,” he repeated and stroked his gaze across her features, which were
crumpled in grief. “You can't take his guilt for him, Abby, no matter how much
you want to. ‘He was just a kid’ - that's what you tell yourself, but you know
he wasn't. He was a grown man. He made a terrible choice, not because of
anything you did, or said, or didn’t say, but because of what he had been
forced to do.”
     
    Abby
shook her head and leaned against the rise of his chest, feeling the warmth of
his body seep into her skin.
     
    “I
should’ve been able to help him.” She groaned into his shirt. Her body trembled
violently at the force of her despair, helplessness tearing through her. “It
was my responsibility to help him.”
     
    “And
you did.” Craig inhaled as his arms wound around her, holding her close. “You
gave him understanding and a supportive ear. You gave him a place he could feel
safe, and shared his pain. You treated him and maintained your professional
boundaries. You couldn’t do everything for him, Abby – that would be against
your profession’s rules. You gave all of that to him, but he was the one who
refused to embrace it.”

Craig paused for a moment. “Why did he refuse it, Abby? Tell me. Why did he
refuse your help, your direction on how to reassemble his life?” His tone
became a little harsher, indicating he expected an answer.
    Abby
could only shake her head as she sobbed.
    “Tell
me, why?” He encouraged,