into focus on my bony fist heading straight
for his head. I made instant contact with the top of his puffy
cheekbone, almost crushing my fingers in hot pain. A suffocated
choke spewed out of JJ's mouth as I pushed my hand through his
face. JJ rocked back only slightly, his hand touching his face
tenderly, fire now erupting in his eyes. I could tell he was still
in shock as his puny brain tried to comprehend his next move.
Should he punch me back or slice me with an insult? I didn't wait
for him to make up his mind before I struck again. This time my
left hand drew up like a rocket, slamming hard into the corner of
his chin. I could hear that familiar sound of grinding bones as his
teeth made contact with each other. This time, JJ not only rocked,
but nearly fell to the ground. This was my chance.
“It's all over for you now, Asshole. I'm
going to fucking kill you,” I said firmly and stormed off the front
steps in a relieved hurry.
I had said those words many a time in my life
with no true intentions. This time I meant it with every inch of my
flesh. I wondered if JJ was able to tell the difference.
35
Thomas's frozen corpse wilted into the blood
stained linoleum. His crimson blood fusing with Mike's in a
sickening dance of hot liquid meeting cool air. JJ was still
shaking as he sat transfixed on their soulless bodies. Who was once
supposed to be my one and only target, I now realized was going to
have to be my last. Except...
A gentle hand caressed my shoulder as I
gathered my thoughts back to the task at hand.
John.
John, who had once been my friend.
John, who had once been my best friend.
John, who had once been a brother to me.
Now, his life was in my hands. The choice I
made right now, in this moment, would make all the difference.
Would I choose to kill the only friend I had ever had or spare his
insolence and give him another chance to redeem himself to the
world.
Tick tock, Harvey. The fuzz is sure to be on
their way by now.
I drew in a deep breath, ready to answer that
question of not what I was killing, but what I was allowing to let
live. Did he deserve to live?
“This is your decision, Harvey,” a soft voice
whispered through my thoughts.
John didn't cry, didn't beg me for mercy, he
didn't even look me in the eye.
“Get the fuck out of here,” I said
flatly.
I couldn't quite tell if it was relief or
perhaps guilt that washed over John's face as I spoke. I believe
deep down he was truly sorry for turning his back on me. Perhaps he
even missed me as a friend as I did him. Either way, I felt after
all these years, he was still a good guy. One of the best in my
book, even after leaving me behind.
John rose slowly, half expecting me to change
my mind. He just stood there, vacant. I could feel his anguish that
had built up over the past few years. The shamefulness he felt
within himself now radiating as he stood to die.
“Shoot me, Harvey,”
“Leave, John! Just leave!” I screamed.
“No, I can't! I knew, Man. I knew!” he called
back, sobs now slowly being released through his tough
exterior.
My face grew hot as all the anger building in
me made a last ditch effort to burst from my body. I tried not to
believe him, even now, and to just let him go, but he
persisted.
“Please, Harvey, just kill me! I knew what
they were going to do to her, and I didn't stop them. I didn't stop
it! Hell, I was supposed to join in!” he peered beside me with
bloodshot tear-filled eyes, “I'm so sorry for what happened to you!
I'm so sorry! I should have done something! I should have told! I
should have stopped it! Please tell him to kill me! Please! I don't
deserve to live!”
I was awestruck by his confession and deeply
heartbroken at the same time. I closed my eyes as moist tears
trickled down my cheeks. She knew just as well as I did that I
couldn't kill him, even had I intended on it.
“Get down on your knees, Maggot!” I screamed
in his face. He cowered like a beaten dog, weeping
for his head. I made instant contact with the top of his puffy
cheekbone, almost crushing my fingers in hot pain. A suffocated
choke spewed out of JJ's mouth as I pushed my hand through his
face. JJ rocked back only slightly, his hand touching his face
tenderly, fire now erupting in his eyes. I could tell he was still
in shock as his puny brain tried to comprehend his next move.
Should he punch me back or slice me with an insult? I didn't wait
for him to make up his mind before I struck again. This time my
left hand drew up like a rocket, slamming hard into the corner of
his chin. I could hear that familiar sound of grinding bones as his
teeth made contact with each other. This time, JJ not only rocked,
but nearly fell to the ground. This was my chance.
“It's all over for you now, Asshole. I'm
going to fucking kill you,” I said firmly and stormed off the front
steps in a relieved hurry.
I had said those words many a time in my life
with no true intentions. This time I meant it with every inch of my
flesh. I wondered if JJ was able to tell the difference.
35
Thomas's frozen corpse wilted into the blood
stained linoleum. His crimson blood fusing with Mike's in a
sickening dance of hot liquid meeting cool air. JJ was still
shaking as he sat transfixed on their soulless bodies. Who was once
supposed to be my one and only target, I now realized was going to
have to be my last. Except...
A gentle hand caressed my shoulder as I
gathered my thoughts back to the task at hand.
John.
John, who had once been my friend.
John, who had once been my best friend.
John, who had once been a brother to me.
Now, his life was in my hands. The choice I
made right now, in this moment, would make all the difference.
Would I choose to kill the only friend I had ever had or spare his
insolence and give him another chance to redeem himself to the
world.
Tick tock, Harvey. The fuzz is sure to be on
their way by now.
I drew in a deep breath, ready to answer that
question of not what I was killing, but what I was allowing to let
live. Did he deserve to live?
“This is your decision, Harvey,” a soft voice
whispered through my thoughts.
John didn't cry, didn't beg me for mercy, he
didn't even look me in the eye.
“Get the fuck out of here,” I said
flatly.
I couldn't quite tell if it was relief or
perhaps guilt that washed over John's face as I spoke. I believe
deep down he was truly sorry for turning his back on me. Perhaps he
even missed me as a friend as I did him. Either way, I felt after
all these years, he was still a good guy. One of the best in my
book, even after leaving me behind.
John rose slowly, half expecting me to change
my mind. He just stood there, vacant. I could feel his anguish that
had built up over the past few years. The shamefulness he felt
within himself now radiating as he stood to die.
“Shoot me, Harvey,”
“Leave, John! Just leave!” I screamed.
“No, I can't! I knew, Man. I knew!” he called
back, sobs now slowly being released through his tough
exterior.
My face grew hot as all the anger building in
me made a last ditch effort to burst from my body. I tried not to
believe him, even now, and to just let him go, but he
persisted.
“Please, Harvey, just kill me! I knew what
they were going to do to her, and I didn't stop them. I didn't stop
it! Hell, I was supposed to join in!” he peered beside me with
bloodshot tear-filled eyes, “I'm so sorry for what happened to you!
I'm so sorry! I should have done something! I should have told! I
should have stopped it! Please tell him to kill me! Please! I don't
deserve to live!”
I was awestruck by his confession and deeply
heartbroken at the same time. I closed my eyes as moist tears
trickled down my cheeks. She knew just as well as I did that I
couldn't kill him, even had I intended on it.
“Get down on your knees, Maggot!” I screamed
in his face. He cowered like a beaten dog, weeping
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