Gutbucket Quest

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Authors: Piers Anthony
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bouncing and causing Slim to miss the bite he was ready to take from his cheeseburger.
    She kissed Progress on the cheek. “Hi, Daddy.” She pointed at Slim. “Who’s this fool?”
    “Hey, girl,” Progress replied, “you ain’t so big I cain’t whoop your butt, so you put a hold on that mouth. This is Slim, my new apprentice.”
    Slim was, frankly, staring at her wide-eyed. She arched one eyebrow, then the other as she checked him over. Wow, Slim thought, a woman who can make an M with her face.
    “ Him?” she said. “Why him?”
    “What’s wrong with me?” Slim asked softly. “Why is it every time Progress tells people I’m his apprentice, everybody says, ‘Him?’"
    “It’s that long hair and that look on your face,” Nadine said. “You look like you died a year ago and haven’t had the guts to lie down.”
    Slim hurt. But, at the same time, he wanted to smile. At least she’d noticed him.
    “Shut up, Nadine,” Progress said. “Wouldn’t hurt you none to be a little more like him.”
    Nadine laughed. Slim thought it was lovely. “You want me to be more like him?” she said. “Fine, schedule the lobotomy.”
    Progress sighed. “Nadine,” he said, “I’m not gonna bust your ass, but you and me, we’re gonna have us a little talk later on. The boy’s had a hard time, so you let him be.”
    Slim knew Progress was serious, but he wondered how much, seeing the old man’s cantankerous, mischievous laughing face. It seemed to make a difference to Nadine, however.
    “Okay, Daddy. What do you need? What’s the prob?”

    Progress told her about the Gutbucket.
    “Man,” she said. “I knew something was wrong when we tried to do the gig and it soured. I didn’t think it was that bad, though. I just thought it was me. What are you going to do?”
    “It ain’t a matter of what am I gonna do. It’s what we’re gonna do. I s’pect you and me and Slim better stick together.”
    “Why him?”
    “Look here, girl. He’s a part of it. You just accept that. I’ll explain it to you later on at home. My home, if you can manage to be free to stay out there with us.”
    “Sure, Daddy,” Nadine said. “That’s no problem. But what then?”
    “I guess we’ll all three go to see T-Bone. Not that I s’pect it to do much good.”
    “Who’s T-Bone?” Slim asked.
    Nadine was about to say something snappish, but Progress laid his hand on her arm and she remained silent while Progress continued speaking.
    “T-Bone Pickens. The man. I s’pect he’s the bad guy in all this. The newspapers call him an industrialist. I got other names for what he is. He started out wantin’ to be a player. But the boy just never could get no handle on it, so he started makin’ money other ways—buyin’ up property, startin’ businesses. Now he owns the helium mines, the beef processing plant, the power company. I swear, sometimes I think the man owns about everything in Armadillo. Maybe half of Tejas if you believe the stories people tell.”
    “What does he have to do with the Gutbucket?” Slim asked.
    Nadine couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Daddy” she said. “This fool’s about smart enough to get out from under a falling tree. Why are you telling him all this stuff everybody already knows?”
    Slim blushed and felt about as incompetent as he’d ever felt in his life. He knew that, maybe, he wasn’t all that likable, but Nadine madehim feel incredibly stupid and he knew he’d do about anything if she’d just be nice to him.
    “Hush up, girl,” Progress said. “Slim ain’t from around here. He don’t know anythin’ at all about all this except what I already told him.”
    Nadine looked at Slim with what seemed to be interest. “Sorry,” she said. Slim could see it had been a struggle for her to say it, but it made him happy just the same.
    “T-Bone’s head of the Vipers,” Progress explained. “Or maybe that’s not quite it. The Vipers are his, they’re his boys, do all his dirty

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