Read Online Guardians by Susan Kim - Free Book Online

already acting on his mood. The District, which up until now had felt merely oppressive, suddenly seemed stifling, as if the giant glass-and-steel walls were literally closing in on him. He yearned to be outside again, alone on the road with Pilot.
    Aras only became aware that he was once more rubbing his fingers together back and forth when Nur placed a hand on his, to stop him. The unexpected touch felt like fire crackling through his skin, and he jerked back.
    She laughed. “Don’t be nervous.”
    â€œAin’t nervous,” he replied, self-conscious.
    â€œIf you are,” she said, “I got something that help.”
    Aras wasn’t sure if she was teasing or being serious. “What’s that?”
    â€œDon’t think I can say.”
    Aras shrugged. “Sure you can. No one else here.”
    He felt the leash being tugged from his hand; she was pulling it gently. “Here,” she said, “let him go. He ain’t going nowhere.”
    Aras did what she suggested and let the lead drop. His hand was taken by Nur, who opened it and placed something within his palm. Even before his fingers closed over the crinkling square of paper and the small pile of dried leaves and seeds, he knew what it was.
    â€œGo on,” she said.
    Aras was motionless. Then, as if in a dream, he took it in both hands and rolled the object with a few quick, expert motions. He tightened it by twisting and pinching both ends. Then he hesitated.
    â€œWhy don’t you lick it?”
    He did, sealing it. The act felt familiar yet forbidden, both good and bad. “I ain’t got a firestarter,” he whispered.
    He felt an object pressing into his hand: slim and plastic, the size of his thumb. He was already fumbling with the tiny button, trying to get it lit, when she took it from him with soft hands.
    â€œYou join me?”
    Aras didn’t let himself dwell on the right or wrong. All he knew was that smoking had always helped him whenever he was worried or upset. He remembered the feeling of peace and detachment that the drug used to bring and realized now that he wanted it. In fact, he couldn’t remember anything he had wanted this badly in a long, long time.
    And, he reasoned to himself, it would just be this once .
    â€œI won’t say no,” he answered.
    Days later, Esther was up late, waiting for Aras.
    After over an hour of cajoling, singing, and stroking Kai’s back, she had finally coaxed him to sleep. Yet as soon as he was down, the baby awoke and started to fuss. After feeding her, Esther began to drift off herself. Then Kai woke up once more.
    â€œPlease,” she begged him, to no avail. The boy was marchingaround the room, imitating soldiers in a book that Joseph had showed him.
    As she had for many nights now, Michal—with her patient, childlike nature and understanding of little ones—had come to the rescue. Scooping him up in her arms and whispering a story in his ear, she had paced the room with him until Kai finally fell asleep, this time for good. She settled him in his bed and pulled the covers up before turning to go.
    â€œYou’ll be back tomorrow?” Esther had asked helplessly, and Michal nodded. Esther felt guilty about how much she depended on the other girl and wished there were something she could do to repay the favor. Yet unspoken between the girls was the understanding that Michal would be there every night, to help out while Aras was missing.
    He was not really gone, of course. Yet for days now, Aras had been coming home so late that he was practically useless as a parent. Invariably, he was hazy and reeked of the bad-smelling papers he used to smoke on the road, on their way to Mundreel. Esther found it impossible to talk to him at such moments. He would ignore her, flopping down on a chair or on the ground itself. Within moments, he would be sound asleep.
    And he was in this condition once again when he stumbled through the