Read Online Guardian Cougar (Finding Fatherhood Book 2) by Kit Tunstall, Kit Fawkes - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Kit Tunstall, Kit Fawkes
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hand from her tummy to wipe it away, his expression one of concern. “Are you all right?”
She nodded, successfully managing to suppress further tears. “I just had a moment of sadness. I wish you were his father.” She was certain that whoever the father was, he didn’t deserve the title, and she wished she had met Jackson sooner, before whomever had stolen a year of her life.
“If you want me to, I’d be happy to be his father. I don’t want to rush you, but nothing would make me happier than taking care of both of you.”
She twined her fingers through his, squeezing. “That would make me happy too.” A sense of peace filled her, and it also underscored how exhausted she was. Her eyes were heavy, and she surrendered to the urge to sleep, though there were more things she wanted to tell Jackson, and more words to share. They could wait, because she was certain they had all the time in the world ahead of them.
***
Jackson watched her sleep, unable to find slumber himself. His mind was too busy to relax into sleep just yet. Too many thoughts crowded his brain, and he was having difficulty focusing on anything in particular. Instead, he just allowed himself the pleasure of watching her sleep, pleased by her relaxed smile and her deep breathing. She was clearly resting well, and she deserved it. He liked to think he’d helped her reach that state, which filled him with a surge of masculine satisfaction.
He let his gaze move lower, placing a hand on her stomach and rubbing lightly after ensuring he didn’t wake her. The baby responded by kicking him, and he felt a different kind of warmth wash over him. He already had a connection with her child, and he was more than happy to claim him as his own.
He just wished he knew more about the last year of her life that was missing, blanked out because she couldn’t face it. He didn’t share it with her, not wanting to alarm her, but he was afraid she was still in danger. Whatever had happened to her had clearly been traumatic, and whoever she’d been with for the last year probably didn’t want her around to share the details.
He could keep her and the baby safer if she could remember who they might be in danger from, but he couldn’t bring himself to push her to remember something she didn’t want to know. Instead, he’d just have to be diligent on her behalf, keeping a close eye on her and the baby when he was born. They were well on their way to becoming a family, and he would guard his family with his life. If she didn’t want to remember, he wouldn’t push her to do so. He would protect her from her past while she focused on their future.
Chapter Seven
The next two weeks seemed to fly by, and she couldn’t imagine how life could be more perfect. The only blight was the continued nightmares that plagued her each night. She often woke in a cold sweat with images burned into her brain that she didn’t want to examine or remember. By the time she’d eaten breakfast, she’d usually shaken them off, so she was clinging to the hope she could deal with the nightmares without regaining her full memory.
Jackson was as caring as ever, and together they had transformed the guestroom into a beautiful nursery for Killian. They had picked the name together, and he seemed determined to live up to his promise to be the father in every way. She was certain Jackson would take good care of their son.
She didn’t share her concern with him, because she didn’t want to worry him, but Hannah was afraid she wouldn’t be as adept at motherhood as Jackson was taking to fatherhood. There was a lingering sense of ambivalence about the pregnancy, and though she was positive it had to do with the circumstances of conception, she couldn’t bring herself to try to call forth the memories.
She was still convinced knowing was worse than not knowing. So she tried to suppress any memories that might try to surface and focus strictly on being happy about the pregnancy while
She nodded, successfully managing to suppress further tears. “I just had a moment of sadness. I wish you were his father.” She was certain that whoever the father was, he didn’t deserve the title, and she wished she had met Jackson sooner, before whomever had stolen a year of her life.
“If you want me to, I’d be happy to be his father. I don’t want to rush you, but nothing would make me happier than taking care of both of you.”
She twined her fingers through his, squeezing. “That would make me happy too.” A sense of peace filled her, and it also underscored how exhausted she was. Her eyes were heavy, and she surrendered to the urge to sleep, though there were more things she wanted to tell Jackson, and more words to share. They could wait, because she was certain they had all the time in the world ahead of them.
***
Jackson watched her sleep, unable to find slumber himself. His mind was too busy to relax into sleep just yet. Too many thoughts crowded his brain, and he was having difficulty focusing on anything in particular. Instead, he just allowed himself the pleasure of watching her sleep, pleased by her relaxed smile and her deep breathing. She was clearly resting well, and she deserved it. He liked to think he’d helped her reach that state, which filled him with a surge of masculine satisfaction.
He let his gaze move lower, placing a hand on her stomach and rubbing lightly after ensuring he didn’t wake her. The baby responded by kicking him, and he felt a different kind of warmth wash over him. He already had a connection with her child, and he was more than happy to claim him as his own.
He just wished he knew more about the last year of her life that was missing, blanked out because she couldn’t face it. He didn’t share it with her, not wanting to alarm her, but he was afraid she was still in danger. Whatever had happened to her had clearly been traumatic, and whoever she’d been with for the last year probably didn’t want her around to share the details.
He could keep her and the baby safer if she could remember who they might be in danger from, but he couldn’t bring himself to push her to remember something she didn’t want to know. Instead, he’d just have to be diligent on her behalf, keeping a close eye on her and the baby when he was born. They were well on their way to becoming a family, and he would guard his family with his life. If she didn’t want to remember, he wouldn’t push her to do so. He would protect her from her past while she focused on their future.
Chapter Seven
The next two weeks seemed to fly by, and she couldn’t imagine how life could be more perfect. The only blight was the continued nightmares that plagued her each night. She often woke in a cold sweat with images burned into her brain that she didn’t want to examine or remember. By the time she’d eaten breakfast, she’d usually shaken them off, so she was clinging to the hope she could deal with the nightmares without regaining her full memory.
Jackson was as caring as ever, and together they had transformed the guestroom into a beautiful nursery for Killian. They had picked the name together, and he seemed determined to live up to his promise to be the father in every way. She was certain Jackson would take good care of their son.
She didn’t share her concern with him, because she didn’t want to worry him, but Hannah was afraid she wouldn’t be as adept at motherhood as Jackson was taking to fatherhood. There was a lingering sense of ambivalence about the pregnancy, and though she was positive it had to do with the circumstances of conception, she couldn’t bring herself to try to call forth the memories.
She was still convinced knowing was worse than not knowing. So she tried to suppress any memories that might try to surface and focus strictly on being happy about the pregnancy while
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