Read Online Grim Tidings by Caitlin Kittredge - Free Book Online Page B

cut in the thigh-high snow leading to the front door. “Because when I think safe house, I think Texas Chainsaw Massacre. ”
    The front door swung open and a guy literally twice my size, both high and wide, stepped forward. A thick braid curled over his shoulder and his forearms were the size of my legs. “Hold up,” he grunted.
    Leo raised one eyebrow. The swelling on his face had gone down, but the bruises and cuts were going to be there for a while. I wouldn’t have tried to stop him. “It’s pretty cold out here, pal.”
    The tree trunk lifted his massive arms, indicating Leo should do the same. “Gotta search you.”
    â€œListen, Cujo,” Leo sighed. “You’re not working the door at a strip club in the Bronx. Chill out.”
    â€œGotta search you,” the tree trunk repeated. His eyes, already tiny in the folded flesh of his face, narrowed even more. Leo folded his arms in response.
    â€œI would love to see you try.”
    â€œCome on,” I said, pushing past him. I was going to freeze to death in the time it took them to decide who had the bigger metaphorical penis. “You can search me,” I told the tree trunk. He shook his head.
    â€œNo need. You’re not one of them.”
    I would have lifted one eyebrow, if they weren’t both frozen solid. “One of what?”
    â€œReapers,” the girl who’d picked us up supplied helpfully. “In case you hadn’t realized, nobody around here is their biggest fan.”
    â€œHey, lady, you brought us to this lovely slice of the ass-end of nowhere,” Leo said. “How about next time, if you don’t want me around you don’t pluck me off the side of the road?”
    â€œHow about you thank me for saving your sorry hide?” she shot back, putting a fist on her hip. Her Mohawk dipped and bobbed like she was a fighting rooster.
    â€œThank you, random woman I’ve never seen before, for saving me and being so fucking modest about it too,” Leo said, spreading his hands. “Now what the fuck am I doing here being fondled by your gimp?”
    The tree trunk growled—actually growled, like a bullmastiff— as he patted Leo down. Leo submitted as apathetically as possible, making the guy raise both of his arms and bend over to pat down his legs.
    â€œHe’s clean,” he announced.
    Our driver turned on him again. “If you’re the Grim Reaper where’s your Scythe?”
    â€œWhoa, now,” Leo said. “Buy a guy a drink first.”
    She grabbed Leo by his lapels and pushed him into the nearest wall, so hard his head impacted the plaster and gritty dirt sifted down on my head. “I look like I have time to joke around with you, slick?” she snarled, shaking Leo like a chew toy. “Here’s a hint in case you’re slow—I’m not joking and neither is anyone else. Now are you him or not?”
    Leo shook his head, blinking plaster dust out of his eyes. He’d never stopped smiling. If that girl was smart, she’d realize she’d caught something much worse than her by the tail. Based on the way she was snarling and the vein popping out of her temple, though, I didn’t think smarts were in play just then.
    â€œListen, honey,” Leo drawled, sounding every inch like the Brooklyn boy he’d been once upon a time, “I don’t know who hurtyou, but your attitude problem ain’t cute. It’s not making me weak in the knees or hard in the dick, so how about you get your hands off my thousand-dollar jacket and we try this again, using our words?”
    She slammed him again, harder, and I reached out and tapped her on the shoulder, my finger pinging off the rivets studding the shoulders of her leather jacket. When she turned, I hit her.
    There’s not much complexity behind a good solid right hook. You want to get the power from your feet and hips, swing your whole upper body