theirs.”
“But Cara, in your life, your family has always been a given. In a very real sense you take for granted that no matter what happens, if it is within their control, your family will stand with you 100%.”
“That’s true. They might want to kill me, but they would never allow anyone else that privilege.”
“Perhaps all this self-doubt and self-deprecation comes from a place of insecurity. Perhaps you’re not being as bold as you once were, for fear that if you are, someone will find it unattractive.”
“Crap. You might be right. I honest to God didn’t see it, but maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ve been living like a ninny because I just haven’t recognized it. Maybe it’s because my last boyfriend left me for two reasons. The first was my family. He just couldn’t stand the fact that we were all so close. He said we were dysfunctional to the point of pathology, which I don’t think is true, but I can understand him feeling that way. He also said that I needed to tone it down. A lot. That I’m a ball buster and I’ll never find a man willing to put up with my attitude and my family. Maybe I actually, on some unconscious level, believed him.”
“He’s an idiot.” It was AJ’s voice coming from behind me.
I hate hospitals. They leave the door open. You never know who’s coming and going.
AJ walked up behind me and rubbed my shoulders. A thousand times more intimate than kissing me and right there in front of his grandma probably more appropriate.
“Your grandma is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met”
“I know.”
“You’re really blessed to have her.”
“I know.”
“She told me you were a bed wetter till you were in junior high.”
We needed a laugh to break the tension in the room.
“She did not.”
“True, I told her you were in high school.”
Another good laugh and we were back to normal.
Nana got serious again. “I’ll tell you one thing that I am sure of. Your generation makes things so much more difficult than they need to be. Problems, most problems, are easily solved. With a little thought and a little work, you can take care of your problems one, two, three. What your generation does is to complicate them. To make them into such a huge problem that they seem insurmountable, then you have a valid reason not to address the issue at hand. My generation learned that if you break a problem down into its individual little pieces and take care of each piece, any problem can be solved quickly and completely.”
AJ smiled. “Maybe problems really are more complicated now, Nana.”
“It’s human nature to believe that yours is the most difficult time, or exciting time, or successful time, or depressed time. Each generation believes that. I will confirm for you that conveniences that your generation has, that mine didn’t dream of, have complicated your lives, but they have also enriched it. It always comes down to the same thing AJ, it always comes down to balance.”
I could have cried. Balance. Balance is so important to me, and I’d lost sight of it. Maybe AJ was attracted to me not because I am unlike his mom, but because I am like his grandma. I can live with that. I like his grandma.
Nana said, “Now, the two of you go home. I’m fine. I’ll be ready for release in the morning, you can come back tomorrow to drive me home.”
“I’m not leaving here, forget it. We can argue about it all night, or you can accept the fact that I’m a full-grown man and I make these decisions for myself. Ma’am.”
Nana took a deep breath. “Thank you AJ.”
AJ settled in front of the TV. I dug through my purse and found the cards I’d put there to play with Adeline. For some reason, I’d had a moment of thinking that I could ascertain her neurological problems by seeing if she could remember how to play a game of cards. I worry about myself sometimes.
Nana and I played a few rounds of Funny Rummy. She kicked my butt.
A nurse dragged another
“But Cara, in your life, your family has always been a given. In a very real sense you take for granted that no matter what happens, if it is within their control, your family will stand with you 100%.”
“That’s true. They might want to kill me, but they would never allow anyone else that privilege.”
“Perhaps all this self-doubt and self-deprecation comes from a place of insecurity. Perhaps you’re not being as bold as you once were, for fear that if you are, someone will find it unattractive.”
“Crap. You might be right. I honest to God didn’t see it, but maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ve been living like a ninny because I just haven’t recognized it. Maybe it’s because my last boyfriend left me for two reasons. The first was my family. He just couldn’t stand the fact that we were all so close. He said we were dysfunctional to the point of pathology, which I don’t think is true, but I can understand him feeling that way. He also said that I needed to tone it down. A lot. That I’m a ball buster and I’ll never find a man willing to put up with my attitude and my family. Maybe I actually, on some unconscious level, believed him.”
“He’s an idiot.” It was AJ’s voice coming from behind me.
I hate hospitals. They leave the door open. You never know who’s coming and going.
AJ walked up behind me and rubbed my shoulders. A thousand times more intimate than kissing me and right there in front of his grandma probably more appropriate.
“Your grandma is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met”
“I know.”
“You’re really blessed to have her.”
“I know.”
“She told me you were a bed wetter till you were in junior high.”
We needed a laugh to break the tension in the room.
“She did not.”
“True, I told her you were in high school.”
Another good laugh and we were back to normal.
Nana got serious again. “I’ll tell you one thing that I am sure of. Your generation makes things so much more difficult than they need to be. Problems, most problems, are easily solved. With a little thought and a little work, you can take care of your problems one, two, three. What your generation does is to complicate them. To make them into such a huge problem that they seem insurmountable, then you have a valid reason not to address the issue at hand. My generation learned that if you break a problem down into its individual little pieces and take care of each piece, any problem can be solved quickly and completely.”
AJ smiled. “Maybe problems really are more complicated now, Nana.”
“It’s human nature to believe that yours is the most difficult time, or exciting time, or successful time, or depressed time. Each generation believes that. I will confirm for you that conveniences that your generation has, that mine didn’t dream of, have complicated your lives, but they have also enriched it. It always comes down to the same thing AJ, it always comes down to balance.”
I could have cried. Balance. Balance is so important to me, and I’d lost sight of it. Maybe AJ was attracted to me not because I am unlike his mom, but because I am like his grandma. I can live with that. I like his grandma.
Nana said, “Now, the two of you go home. I’m fine. I’ll be ready for release in the morning, you can come back tomorrow to drive me home.”
“I’m not leaving here, forget it. We can argue about it all night, or you can accept the fact that I’m a full-grown man and I make these decisions for myself. Ma’am.”
Nana took a deep breath. “Thank you AJ.”
AJ settled in front of the TV. I dug through my purse and found the cards I’d put there to play with Adeline. For some reason, I’d had a moment of thinking that I could ascertain her neurological problems by seeing if she could remember how to play a game of cards. I worry about myself sometimes.
Nana and I played a few rounds of Funny Rummy. She kicked my butt.
A nurse dragged another
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