Read Online Gothic Charm School by Jillian Venters - Free Book Online Page B

lace trim or helping apply liquid eyeliner. Being willing to let your babybat ’s friends come hang out in your home without expressing overt disapproval will mean a lot to them. Besides, this way you and the other parents can feel reassured knowing the flock of babybats are safe at home instead of roaming off to the mall and loitering for hours on end.
    Another thing to remember about fledgling Goths: You’re still the parent! You are perfectly within your rights to say things like, “I don’t think you should wear a corset to school,” “Please don’twear black lipstick when we go to your grandparents’ house,” or “That’s inappropriately revealing for someone your age; please go change clothes.” If you wouldn’t tolerate certain types of behavior before, there’s no reason for you to go along with them now, just because your child has developed an interest in Goth. (The Lady of the Manners is well aware that this will be read with dismay by some of her teenage readers, but she hopes they understand that some things just aren’t appropriate when you’re a young gothling . Besides, compromising with your parents on some things will go a long way toward keeping the family peace, and there will be pages and pages of advice for you later on in the book. Patience, young Snarklings. Your time will come.)
    Try to keep an open mind about things, and do some research. Don’t dismiss something out of hand because the only information you have about your child’s newfound spookiness comes from sensationalist news stories designed to boost TV ratings. Ask your child questions and take the opportunity to discuss his interests as impartially as possible. Those new interests may be things you wouldn’t have chosen for him, but it doesn’t make the interests themselves awful or evil.
    And for heaven’s sake, don’t refer to your child’s interest in Goth as “a phase.” Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but calling it a phase is a quick way to convince her that you don’t take her seriously. Even if it is a phase, there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone has phases of exploration, be they football, musical instruments, or black eyeliner. Trying on new identities isn’t a cause for alarm. But one thing you should attempt to avoid is trying too hard to share your babygoth ’s every new enthusiasm. Being supportive is one thing; rushing out and buying yourself a matching black velvet outfit and tagging along everywhere is another. Being a supportive parent is good; a smothering “we can do everything together!” approach isnot. Even if you think you and your child are best friends, there are going to be times when she thinks that you’re horrible, that you are evil personified, and that you just don’t understand her! The Lady of the Manners is blessed with absolutely wonderful parents, and there were times when all she did was lock herself in her room and sulk because she was convinced they didn’t understand her. (The Lady of the Manners has been known to call up her parents and apologize for her adolescent self; the Lady of the Manners’s parents are vastly amused by this.)
    The moody, sullen, brooding aspects of teenage Gothdom are going to happen no matter what you do. Chances are, they would have set in even if your child wasn’t a Goth; isn’t sullenness and brooding a part of adolescence for everyone? You should still make sure your kid’s okay, but don’t assume that things are worse than they really are just because of some black velvet and a lot of eyeliner.
    These things are not necessarily cries for help. Perhaps your kid has discovered a form of self-expression, and that’s a good thing.
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    Babybat-friendly books the Lady of the Manners recommends:
  The Vampire Kisses series by Ellen Schreiber
  A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket
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