Read Online Gothic Charm School by Jillian Venters - Free Book Online Page A

your babygoth or babybat without relinquishing the keys to the hearse, and everything you need to know to Not Freak Out
    Now that the Lady of the Manners has put you at ease about some of the more pervasive rumors concerning Goths (she has, hasn’t she?), you may still be wondering about what you should do if you have a Goth in your family. What if your child seems to be exploring the dark side?
    When the Lady of the Manners was a little girl, she announced to her parents that she was going to be the Wicked Witch of the West when she grew up. The Lady of the Manners’s parents smiled at her and said, “That’s nice, dear.” When the Lady of the Manners was a little bit older and allowed to roam freely through the local library, she would trundle home laden with books about witches, vampires, and ghosts. When the concerned librarian pointed thisout to the Lady of the Manners’s parents, they smiled and said, “Isn’t it wonderful how much she likes to read?” When the Lady of the Manners hit adolescence and started doodling on her face with eyeliner and listening to strange music, the Lady of the Manners’s parents said, “That’s very creative, dear. If you get straight A’s on your next report card, you can dye your hair purple.” What the Lady of the Manners is trying to show by example here is that becoming a Goth doesn’t mean becoming a Satanist, doing drugs, joining a cult, or contemplating suicide, or murder. But many people (most of whom should know better) will assume exactly those sorts of things about your fledgling Goth child based solely on his or her appearance. If you really want to be supportive, speak up in your child’s defense. If someone makes a comment about the way your child looks, talk about how glad you are that he is an individual with his own sense of style. Explain that just because your child chooses to look “that way” doesn’t make him evil or disturbed. And it certainly doesn’t make you a bad parent.

    Be warned: even people close to you might spout off with this sort of nonsense. Practice your best calm, polite tone of voice coupled with an icy smile. Better yet, teach your babygoth to respond to these comments in a polite, “Yes, I always look like this; no it’s not a costume; you’re right, it isn’t Halloween yet” manner. Because the truth is, no matter what your child looks like, there will always be people who make snide comments or say hurtfulthings. The earlier you can teach your children how to deal with conflict gracefully, the better off they’ll be when dealing with all sorts of things throughout their lives.
    Nowadays, there are all sorts of places where one can buy what amounts to a “Goth starter kit.” Shopping malls are filled with chain stores that cater to the young and spooky. There’s nothing wrong with that, and everyone needs to start somewhere. However, not only can that get expensive, but it’s rather…stale. Not creative. Even (gasp!) a touch conformist, in that “I am a unique dark snowflake, just like everyone else” sort of way. Instead, encourage your child to develop a personal style by visiting thrift stores together and assembling a unique gothy wardrobe. Not only will you save money, but the skills your child will learn from this (such as sewing, painting, developing a sense of design) are useful things everyone should know. If your child’s interest in DIY fashion becomes strong enough, perhaps you would allow her to host gothy craft days. Let her invite her spookster friends over for an afternoon of working on craft projects or trying out new looks with each other’s wardrobes and makeup. (See Chapter 8 for a whole flock of suggestions about customizing basic items of clothing.) If the notion of a house full of babybats playing with eyeliner makes you wince, remember that you don’t have to be right there sewing on