position you were in at bedtime that night and sooth her. You can go over to the crib initially and quickly calm and caress her, and encourage her to lie down (if she’s standing or sitting) before you return to your chair by the door. Continue the soothing sounds but stay in the chair as much as you can. Get up to pat or stroke her a little if necessary. Try not to pick her up unless she’s hysterical, and if you do pick her up, follow the technique I described for the first three nights. Stay in your chair in the hallway in view until she’s asleep.
NIGHTS TEN THROUGH TWELVE REMINDERS
• Your new chair position on night 10 is the hallway in view.
• Your child’s bedroom door should be open enough for her to see you from her crib.
• Keep a sleep log.
• This next move on the first night can be difficult because you’re not in the room and your child may try every trick she can think of to get you back there. She may throw things or cry until you come; if she’s verbal, she might even kick off her blanket and then call you to tuck her back in. Set a limit such as “Mommy will only tuck you in one more time and then you will have to do it yourself.” Follow through on whatever you say.
• If you’ve been consistent up until now you will probably be seeing some improvement—such as fewer, shorter night awakenings. Congratulations.
• Night sleep falls into place on average after 7 to 10 nights (in children under 18 months, two to three weeks in children over 18 months), and naps in two to three weeks. Afternoon naps and early rising can take as long as three to four weeks to improve.
Night Thirteen and Beyond
By now your baby is probably falling asleep and staying asleep on her own. Your last step is to give her a chance to do this without your presence. It may seem like a huge leap, but it’s not so big for her. After all, she’s had nearly two weeks of preparation! Move farther down the hall, so that you’re out of view but your child can hear you . You can keep making “sh-sh” sounds—not constantly, but often enough to let her know that you’re close by and responsive. If she cries, check on her from the door—don’t go over to her crib. Be calm and reassuring. Make some comforting, encouraging sounds to convey that you’re not far away and that you know she can put herself to sleep. Your baby really can soothe herself to sleep—if you give her the opportunity.
NIGHT THIRTEEN AND BEYOND REMINDERS
• It’s okay to break this step up if it’s very upsetting to your child. For instance, you could sit halfway out of view the first night and then move to totally out of view a night or two later.
• Night awakenings have greatly diminished by now and you may only be struggling with early rising. This is especially true if your child had a previous history of early rising. Stay consistent and work on those naps. Early rising can take three to four weeks to improve!
• Remember that early rising is caused by one or more of the following:
• a too-late bedtime
• nap deprivation in general
• a too-large wake-up window between afternoon nap and bedtime. This window should not exceed four hours for a child who is not sleeping through the night yet.
• putting your child to bed too drowsy at bedtime
• The two hardest parts of sleep coaching are early rising and the stubborn afternoon naps. Stay consistent and these will improve!!
Olivia, age 18 months
CHAPTER NINE
Implementing Your Plan: Step-by-Step Shuffle Outline for a Child in a Bed
A child who’s old enough to sleep in a big-kid bed is old enough to become vested in improving his own sleep, and can feel proud when he does. Positive reinforcement goes a long way for this age group.
Children who move from the crib too early don’t necessarily have the verbal skills to understand big-boy or big-girl bedtime rules (which on average are developed at 2½ years old). That means this
NIGHTS TEN THROUGH TWELVE REMINDERS
• Your new chair position on night 10 is the hallway in view.
• Your child’s bedroom door should be open enough for her to see you from her crib.
• Keep a sleep log.
• This next move on the first night can be difficult because you’re not in the room and your child may try every trick she can think of to get you back there. She may throw things or cry until you come; if she’s verbal, she might even kick off her blanket and then call you to tuck her back in. Set a limit such as “Mommy will only tuck you in one more time and then you will have to do it yourself.” Follow through on whatever you say.
• If you’ve been consistent up until now you will probably be seeing some improvement—such as fewer, shorter night awakenings. Congratulations.
• Night sleep falls into place on average after 7 to 10 nights (in children under 18 months, two to three weeks in children over 18 months), and naps in two to three weeks. Afternoon naps and early rising can take as long as three to four weeks to improve.
Night Thirteen and Beyond
By now your baby is probably falling asleep and staying asleep on her own. Your last step is to give her a chance to do this without your presence. It may seem like a huge leap, but it’s not so big for her. After all, she’s had nearly two weeks of preparation! Move farther down the hall, so that you’re out of view but your child can hear you . You can keep making “sh-sh” sounds—not constantly, but often enough to let her know that you’re close by and responsive. If she cries, check on her from the door—don’t go over to her crib. Be calm and reassuring. Make some comforting, encouraging sounds to convey that you’re not far away and that you know she can put herself to sleep. Your baby really can soothe herself to sleep—if you give her the opportunity.
NIGHT THIRTEEN AND BEYOND REMINDERS
• It’s okay to break this step up if it’s very upsetting to your child. For instance, you could sit halfway out of view the first night and then move to totally out of view a night or two later.
• Night awakenings have greatly diminished by now and you may only be struggling with early rising. This is especially true if your child had a previous history of early rising. Stay consistent and work on those naps. Early rising can take three to four weeks to improve!
• Remember that early rising is caused by one or more of the following:
• a too-late bedtime
• nap deprivation in general
• a too-large wake-up window between afternoon nap and bedtime. This window should not exceed four hours for a child who is not sleeping through the night yet.
• putting your child to bed too drowsy at bedtime
• The two hardest parts of sleep coaching are early rising and the stubborn afternoon naps. Stay consistent and these will improve!!
Olivia, age 18 months
CHAPTER NINE
Implementing Your Plan: Step-by-Step Shuffle Outline for a Child in a Bed
A child who’s old enough to sleep in a big-kid bed is old enough to become vested in improving his own sleep, and can feel proud when he does. Positive reinforcement goes a long way for this age group.
Children who move from the crib too early don’t necessarily have the verbal skills to understand big-boy or big-girl bedtime rules (which on average are developed at 2½ years old). That means this
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