new arrivals come into the fold, singing traditional hymns from our service books. Bright lights shine on us from overhead, and I know my added presence in the room allows for everything to sparkle.
Everyone can make a guess what this meeting is about, there was even an announcement earlier today, letting the Refuge know which Vessels were excused from their duties.
The air is charged with anticipation. I look around, wondering if there have been whispers about where Lucy went. The girl who just days ago announced that we were to be Bound. If there's been gossip about what happened, I'm shielded from the rumors. I'm always a few conversations shy from understanding exactly what is going on around me.
Perfection drops to her knees as I walk toward her, to offer respect. She believes her prophet is before her. Her long blond hair twists around her head in intricate braids, and she looks up at me with a smile plastered on her face. She drops her head, and her shoulders fall. When she glances back up she seems to have steadied herself. Her juvenile glee has vanished in my presence.
This Perfection isn't the one who just squealed with excitement, and certainly this Perfection isn't the who threw a fit a few days ago when I let her know I wasn't interested in being Bound to her. I can tell she's trying hard to be more reserved. Acting different in hopes I will be attracted to her now that Lucy is gone.
"Perfection, you may stand."
It feels weird, things being so formal all of a sudden. I've known this girl forever. She's been preened to be mine for as long as I can remember. She was my playmate when I was younger and would come to this Refuge with my family to perform my duty. I remember her eating meals with us in this very same room. My parents would usually be nearby, talking to Honor and Discernment, as we played checkers or worked on puzzles with Charles. She always was excused from all the duties other Vessels her age were required to perform. It's made her feel entitled.
Other girls have been groomed to be my mate, like her, at the other Refuges. Flawless and Innocence. They are sweet girls, and pretty by The Light's standards.
But Perfection always stands apart from them, and not just because she's whiny and more aggressive, and more than just plain pretty.
She once stood apart because she always liked Charles; they were alike in ways I never was. Maybe because I've always been set apart as the Nobleman. Never just friend or brother. I've always been the prophet.
After Charles left, I never spoke of my family leaving until I met Lucy. Perfection mentioned Charles once, long ago. We were sitting in this very room one afternoon, the first time I had been to this Refuge since they left me. We were about to play checkers and she said, "Who plays first?" And then she instinctively looked to her right, where Charles always sat. But no one was there, which we knew. Her eyes caught mine, for a second, and I know there were tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.
We were both just ten years old, and sheltered from so much - this sort of pain was unnatural.
"Do you think he's ever coming back?" she asked in a whisper.
I shook my head no. I didn't have the nerve to say anymore, because I didn't trust myself. Trust myself to regain self-control once I opened up. She must have taken it as a cue that my family was off the table for discussion. We never spoke of them again.
As Perfection grew up, her fervor for being Bound to me changed. Without Charles in the mix, she became more like the Vessels at the other Refuges. Focused on being my mate, no longer my friend.
Looking at her now, standing here, with all those memories flooding over me, I remember the girl from before. The girl with tears in the corners of her eyes. I smile at her, knowing that if I'm going to be Bound to anyone besides Lucy, I would want it be a girl who knows a little of my past, because I am taking her into my future.
"Perfection, would you do me
Everyone can make a guess what this meeting is about, there was even an announcement earlier today, letting the Refuge know which Vessels were excused from their duties.
The air is charged with anticipation. I look around, wondering if there have been whispers about where Lucy went. The girl who just days ago announced that we were to be Bound. If there's been gossip about what happened, I'm shielded from the rumors. I'm always a few conversations shy from understanding exactly what is going on around me.
Perfection drops to her knees as I walk toward her, to offer respect. She believes her prophet is before her. Her long blond hair twists around her head in intricate braids, and she looks up at me with a smile plastered on her face. She drops her head, and her shoulders fall. When she glances back up she seems to have steadied herself. Her juvenile glee has vanished in my presence.
This Perfection isn't the one who just squealed with excitement, and certainly this Perfection isn't the who threw a fit a few days ago when I let her know I wasn't interested in being Bound to her. I can tell she's trying hard to be more reserved. Acting different in hopes I will be attracted to her now that Lucy is gone.
"Perfection, you may stand."
It feels weird, things being so formal all of a sudden. I've known this girl forever. She's been preened to be mine for as long as I can remember. She was my playmate when I was younger and would come to this Refuge with my family to perform my duty. I remember her eating meals with us in this very same room. My parents would usually be nearby, talking to Honor and Discernment, as we played checkers or worked on puzzles with Charles. She always was excused from all the duties other Vessels her age were required to perform. It's made her feel entitled.
Other girls have been groomed to be my mate, like her, at the other Refuges. Flawless and Innocence. They are sweet girls, and pretty by The Light's standards.
But Perfection always stands apart from them, and not just because she's whiny and more aggressive, and more than just plain pretty.
She once stood apart because she always liked Charles; they were alike in ways I never was. Maybe because I've always been set apart as the Nobleman. Never just friend or brother. I've always been the prophet.
After Charles left, I never spoke of my family leaving until I met Lucy. Perfection mentioned Charles once, long ago. We were sitting in this very room one afternoon, the first time I had been to this Refuge since they left me. We were about to play checkers and she said, "Who plays first?" And then she instinctively looked to her right, where Charles always sat. But no one was there, which we knew. Her eyes caught mine, for a second, and I know there were tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.
We were both just ten years old, and sheltered from so much - this sort of pain was unnatural.
"Do you think he's ever coming back?" she asked in a whisper.
I shook my head no. I didn't have the nerve to say anymore, because I didn't trust myself. Trust myself to regain self-control once I opened up. She must have taken it as a cue that my family was off the table for discussion. We never spoke of them again.
As Perfection grew up, her fervor for being Bound to me changed. Without Charles in the mix, she became more like the Vessels at the other Refuges. Focused on being my mate, no longer my friend.
Looking at her now, standing here, with all those memories flooding over me, I remember the girl from before. The girl with tears in the corners of her eyes. I smile at her, knowing that if I'm going to be Bound to anyone besides Lucy, I would want it be a girl who knows a little of my past, because I am taking her into my future.
"Perfection, would you do me
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