Read Online Give Yourself Away by Barbara Elsborg - Free Book Online
Authors: Barbara Elsborg
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the footwell and drank it all in one go.
There was no one around and only a couple of vehicles left in the car park. He checked his phone but there were no messages, and no one had called. He ought to drive to town and find a place to stay, but now he was awake, his thoughts had started to race, all trying to take the lead. Was someone after him?
He locked the car and set off on foot along the coastal path while there was still light. He needed space to think.
Except thinking was a problem. He couldn’t let his mind continue down the only path he could imagine because it led to an impossible conclusion—Liam was the one who attacked Mike, which meant Liam wasn’t dead. But he was dead.
Caleb’s anxiety level lurched even higher. No one should know who he really was or where he was living. No one except maybe Jasim. Savior, friend, abuser—Caleb still wasn’t sure which, though he did know he was scared of Jasim. One rule broken, one quick search online and Jasim had known.
Caleb hadn’t dared to become visible again. No more searching online, but he had looked at newspaper archives. Jasim hadn’t said he couldn’t do that. The agreement between them was that they’d never contact each other, though Jasim had been quick to contact him when Caleb had taken that risk. Caleb had no idea how to find Jasim, but maybe Jasim knew exactly where he was at any time. Not something that made him feel comfortable. Caleb had a new name and the only photos in the paper or on the TV had been of him as a child, not as an adult. There had been a few attempts to show him as an older teenager, but Caleb hadn’t recognized himself. The relief had been huge.
Although he returned to the area where he grew up, Caleb had done nothing to draw attention. Until this attack on Mike, apart from that one risky venture on the Internet that was found out, Caleb had existed well below the radar. Even Simon’s death hadn’t pulled him into the spotlight. If Liam was alive—big if —why would he care whether Mike was sorry? If Jasim was behind this, why after all this time?
“I’m the only one allowed to hurt you.” —Liam’s words.
Caleb shuddered. Liam had told him that often enough, even shown him in his warped way. But he was dead. Shit. The freaky bastard was dead. Definitely dead. Almost definitely.
Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. Had he made a mistake? Had Liam or Jasim tricked him?Caleb had watched enough crime programs to come up with a scenario where Liam had pretended to be dead, or gone into some sort of shocked state that made it look as though he were dead or that it hadn’t been him at all but someone who looked like him. He’d fooled Caleb once with his scruffy blond hair and moustache, and that scar on his cheek that he peeled off with a laugh.
Stupid. Liam was dead, Caleb was sure of it. Jasim had no reason to— Stop it. Turn around. Get in the car. Drive north, west, east. Not south into the sea, though the idea tempted. Why did I even come back here?
A dog walker greeted him and Caleb started, his heart jumping in fear. In the gathering gloom, he found himself moving too quickly along the path but he couldn’t slow down. He could never flee far enough or run fast enough to escape a monster he couldn’t see. He imagined flesh-eating zombies chasing him and it helped him run faster until it was as though he were running in a dream where reality blended with fantasy. He was in the world and yet outside of it.
Dimly aware he was no longer on the well-worn clifftop trail but blundering through shrubs and leaping from rock to rock, Caleb had descended so deep into his imagination that he couldn’t pull out. Caught in the grip of something out of his control, all that filled his head was desperation to get away, so Liam couldn’t catch him, so no one could.
The ground was beneath his feet.
Then it wasn’t.
Caleb dropped into nothing.
A moment later he hit freezing water, went under and flailed, kicking to emerge with
There was no one around and only a couple of vehicles left in the car park. He checked his phone but there were no messages, and no one had called. He ought to drive to town and find a place to stay, but now he was awake, his thoughts had started to race, all trying to take the lead. Was someone after him?
He locked the car and set off on foot along the coastal path while there was still light. He needed space to think.
Except thinking was a problem. He couldn’t let his mind continue down the only path he could imagine because it led to an impossible conclusion—Liam was the one who attacked Mike, which meant Liam wasn’t dead. But he was dead.
Caleb’s anxiety level lurched even higher. No one should know who he really was or where he was living. No one except maybe Jasim. Savior, friend, abuser—Caleb still wasn’t sure which, though he did know he was scared of Jasim. One rule broken, one quick search online and Jasim had known.
Caleb hadn’t dared to become visible again. No more searching online, but he had looked at newspaper archives. Jasim hadn’t said he couldn’t do that. The agreement between them was that they’d never contact each other, though Jasim had been quick to contact him when Caleb had taken that risk. Caleb had no idea how to find Jasim, but maybe Jasim knew exactly where he was at any time. Not something that made him feel comfortable. Caleb had a new name and the only photos in the paper or on the TV had been of him as a child, not as an adult. There had been a few attempts to show him as an older teenager, but Caleb hadn’t recognized himself. The relief had been huge.
Although he returned to the area where he grew up, Caleb had done nothing to draw attention. Until this attack on Mike, apart from that one risky venture on the Internet that was found out, Caleb had existed well below the radar. Even Simon’s death hadn’t pulled him into the spotlight. If Liam was alive—big if —why would he care whether Mike was sorry? If Jasim was behind this, why after all this time?
“I’m the only one allowed to hurt you.” —Liam’s words.
Caleb shuddered. Liam had told him that often enough, even shown him in his warped way. But he was dead. Shit. The freaky bastard was dead. Definitely dead. Almost definitely.
Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. Had he made a mistake? Had Liam or Jasim tricked him?Caleb had watched enough crime programs to come up with a scenario where Liam had pretended to be dead, or gone into some sort of shocked state that made it look as though he were dead or that it hadn’t been him at all but someone who looked like him. He’d fooled Caleb once with his scruffy blond hair and moustache, and that scar on his cheek that he peeled off with a laugh.
Stupid. Liam was dead, Caleb was sure of it. Jasim had no reason to— Stop it. Turn around. Get in the car. Drive north, west, east. Not south into the sea, though the idea tempted. Why did I even come back here?
A dog walker greeted him and Caleb started, his heart jumping in fear. In the gathering gloom, he found himself moving too quickly along the path but he couldn’t slow down. He could never flee far enough or run fast enough to escape a monster he couldn’t see. He imagined flesh-eating zombies chasing him and it helped him run faster until it was as though he were running in a dream where reality blended with fantasy. He was in the world and yet outside of it.
Dimly aware he was no longer on the well-worn clifftop trail but blundering through shrubs and leaping from rock to rock, Caleb had descended so deep into his imagination that he couldn’t pull out. Caught in the grip of something out of his control, all that filled his head was desperation to get away, so Liam couldn’t catch him, so no one could.
The ground was beneath his feet.
Then it wasn’t.
Caleb dropped into nothing.
A moment later he hit freezing water, went under and flailed, kicking to emerge with
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