still thought boys were stupid mucky creatures who picked their noses and ate it and yanked the arms off Barbie dolls. I wish Eggs didn’t exist and Dad hadn’t met Anna. I wish my mum was still alive.
My throat aches and my eyes burn and I start crying because I suddenly miss Mum so much even though she died long ago. I cry under the covers for ages. When I eventually crawl out at lunchtime my eyes are sore and swollen. I come downstairs to have bacon sandwiches. Anna has obviously said something to Dad and Eggs. They both stare at me but after one fierce glance from Anna they start nattering on about swimming. Eggs demonstrates his version of freestyle so wildly that his sandwich crusts go flying and he nearly pokes me in the eye. Dad tells him to calm down. Eggs gets wilder. Dad gets cross. Anna intervenes. I let it all wash over me. As if I care about any of this stuff. As if I care about anything anymore. It’s not like I’ll ever have a family of my own. It’s obvious no boy is ever going to want to go out with me, let alone form a proper partnership. My first boyfriend, Dan, was a total nerd. Anorak Boy with a capital
A,
and yet even he fell out of love with me. And Russell couldn’t even be bothered to turn up on our very first date. I am going to lead a totally solitary unloved uncherished life.
A tear drips down my cheek.
“Oh, Ellie,” says Dad. “I can’t bear to see you so miserable. Look, I’m
sorry
I wouldn’t let you meet up with this boy yesterday.”
I glance at Anna. She raises her eyebrows a fraction. I decide it’s safer to say nothing.
“Ellie’s crying,” says Eggs, unnecessarily.
“Just finish your sandwich, Eggs, and leave Ellie alone,” says Anna.
“I feel like I’ve overplayed the heavy father role,” says Dad. “You do understand, Ellie, it was just because I care about you.”
No one else cares about me. No need to worry about Russell going too far with me, Dad. Russell doesn’t want to get anywhere
near
me.
I don’t say any of this. I simply sniff.
“Anna says you told Magda I wouldn’t let you meet up with her this afternoon. Ellie, I’m not that mean. You can go out with your girlfriends, for goodness’ sake.”
I just shrug and shrink back into my bedroom.
But Magda and Nadine don’t give up on me that easily. There’s a knock at the door ten minutes later. Magda. And Nadine. Dad answers the door and walks right into it.
“Oh, Mr. Allard! Look, we’ve come round to plead with you,” I hear Magda say.
“We know you’re cross with Ellie. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was going on straightaway. It’s partly my fault,” says Nadine.
They badger and flirt and flutter. Dad is clearly enjoying the situation and lets them carry on for ages. Then he pretends to weaken.
“Well, girls, I’d hate to spoil your afternoon. OK, you’ve persuaded me. Ellie can go out with you.”
They squeal gratefully, then come bounding upstairs. Magda clatter-clatters in her platforms, Nadine bounce-bounces in her trainers. They barge into my bedroom like two knights in armor rescuing a princess. I feel more like the loathsome monster.
They show off about their supposed victory and I try to act grateful.
“Though actually I don’t really feel like going out,” I protest weakly.
I pretend it’s because I’ve got a bad period. They are as suspicious as Mrs. Henderson. They are both peering at my sore eyes and blotchy face.
“Come
on,
Ellie,” says Magda. “Tell us about Russell. Oh God, didn’t he turn up?”
“You’ve got it,” I say, and I start sniffing again.
“Oh, Ellie, what a creepy mean rotten thing to do. How long did you wait for him?” says Nadine.
“An
hour
!” I wail.
I tell them all about it. Magda puts her arm round my neck and Nadine puts her arm round my waist and they both pat me sympathetically. Nadine says she thought his eyes were too close together and he had this really seriously shifty look which should have been a
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