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there was and knew she would have to do it, although she would have preferred to stay where she was and go on watching. There was always the hope that one or other of the ships would drift close enough for her to see the faces of the men on board. Jem could be out there, riding the selfsame waves as she was, or rowing one of the captains out to the Victory . And how would she know if she couldn’t see him? It was very frustrating. But you’m at sea now, she told herself, an’ you’ll have to do as you’m told an’ put up with it.  

CHAPTER 5
    A DMIRAL L ORD N ELSON took breakfast with his captains and lieutenants in the gilded stateroom of the Victory . The cook had excelled himself that morning with a pair of roast ducks as well as the usual ham, eggs and kidneys and there was a great quantity of toast and strong coffee besides, so his guests ate well, but the Admiral was abstemious, as he invariably was when there were matters to be decided, and only took a poached egg and a single rasher of ham.
    Captain Prowse arrived from the Sirius with news that there was no sign of any movement in or out of Brest and a letter from Admiral Cornwallis which was an apology for having sailed before they were able to meet and explained that it was because he had a rendezvous at sea with the other ships of the Channel Fleet, ‘there being no other cause which would have prevented me from meeting my old comrade in arms.’
    The graceful compliment made Nelson smile but Cornwallis’s absence presented him with a problem. The last orders he’d received before he left Spithead were that he was to meet Cornwallis at the Black Rocks and hand over the command of the Victory to him and how could that be done if the man was somewhere in the Atlantic? If he’d been at the meeting they could have come to an amicable arrangement and he could have kept the Victory , for he was sure Cornwallis was well provided with ships of the line and had no particular need of her, whereas he would find it hard to do without her.
    The problem of obeying the Admiralty’s instructions in these altered circumstances was discussed over the roast duck and the ham and kidneys. Several of the captains at the table thought that finding the admiral in the Atlantic would be an almost impossible task, given that he could be anywhere along the French coast and given that the wind was freshening and changing direction.
    ‘If it blows from the north as it did when we left the Solent,’ Captain Sutton pointed out, ‘we shall be hard put to it to sail in any direction but southerly, leave alone conduct a search.’
    ‘Nevertheless,’ Nelson said, ‘difficult though it may well be, that is what we are duty-bound to attempt, if we are to follow Admiralty orders as officers and gentlemen. I have no desire to hand over this ship, for I tell you plainly, when I fight the French, as I fully intend to do, no matter how far and how long they run, I would rather fight them aboard the Victory than on any other ship of the line. However orders are orders and, as I said, we are duty bound. We will search until dusk, gentlemen, and then rendezvous again and reconsider our position.’ It was a compromise but one that might turn out for the best with a contrary wind blowing.
    It blew strongly all through the day but his fleet battled against it and searched wherever they could, without news from any quarter or sight of a single sail of any description. When they returned to the Black Rocks at the end of the allotted time, they were exhausted but no further on than they’d been when they started.
    ‘If I am to be at Gibraltar to take command of Sir Richard Bickerton’s squadron and to meet with Governor Ball,’ Nelson said, as he and Captain Sutton stood on the quarter-deck surveying the return of the fleet, ‘I cannot delay any further. I shall transfer to the Amphion this evening and sail on with Captain Hardy. I leave you to continue the search. If you have not found