but she would never take my calls or return my letters. Finally, I stopped trying. I couldn’t take the rejection anymore. But I always wondered about that wilderness stuff Gina had talked about. Did she ever make it out?
When I met Lisa a couple years later, I thought that I was over Gina, but I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over her. Before dating Lisa, I found myself trying to find someone who looked like Gina. It’s not easy finding girls who have long red hair. After awhile, I realized that I was trying to replace what I had lost and that wasn’t cool. I needed to move on. And I thought I had when Lisa came into my life. She wasn’t anything like Gina. Gina was tall with gorgeous legs that went on forever. Lisa was much shorter and had blond hair. She was a Tasmanian devil on the basketball court and could beat me in the mile without even trying.
Don’t get me wrong. What Lisa and I had was great. But there was just something that wasn’t there on my part. Lisa sensed it from the very beginning but convinced herself that it didn’t matter, that she loved me enough for both of us. When she told me this it broke my heart. I never meant to hurt her, and I really wished that I could have felt the way about her that she felt about me. We agreed that Jack was the best of both of us and that for his sake, we’d be friends. Lisa’s happy and I’m happy that she’s happy.
I get lonely sometimes and I’ve dated some, but there’s no one special in my life. There’s a woman I work with that I sometimes hook up with. It’s convenient and she doesn’t want any commitment so it works. But it’s just sex. That’s all. And it always leaves me feeling like there has to be more.
****
Gina
Even though Sue’s my best friend, I never told her that Smith raped me. There were so many times that I wanted to, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. The only person I told was the therapist who helped me deal with the flashbacks and pain long after that brutal night. So when Sue went on and on about the funeral when she called, it was hard for me to listen. I hated the bastard. I was glad he was dead.
“The line was out the building and around the corner,” Sue said. “I figured there would be a crowd, but it was way more people than I had expected. Coach Smith must have touched a lot of lives. ”
I coughed. And ruined some , I thought. I picked up the magazine that had come in the mail that day and thumbed through it while I listened.
“And they had this slideshow with photos of him and his family over the years that played continuously, and his baseball uniform and glove and some other stuff was scattered on tables throughout the room.”
I gritted my teeth. “That’s nice.”
“I felt so bad for his wife and sons. They looked pretty whipped,” Sue said.
“I’m sure.”
“Are you listening to me, Gina?”
How did she know I was looking at my magazine? “Of course, why?
“Well, it doesn’t seem like you’re saying much,” Sue said.
“I’m listening. You said his wife and sons looked pretty whipped. See? I’m listening.”
I could hear Sue sigh through my earpiece.
“You never liked him much, did you?” Sue asked.
I could feel my muscles tense up, especially my neck and shoulders. I had spent the last twenty years dealing with what the creep did to me. No, I hated the son of a bitch.
“He was OK,” I told Sue.
“Remember our calc final? It was so hard. You were the only one in the entire class who got an A, which totally amazed me because I was doing better than you were in the class.”
I silently snickered. If only Sue knew why I got the A.
“Oh, almost forgot. Mike was at Smith’s funeral. Chloe and I ran into Cookie and her two girls at the mall. She waited in line with Mike.”
Hearing Mike and Smith mentioned in the same sentence made my heart race. Then I realized I was holding my breath and forced myself to breathe.
“Oh,
When I met Lisa a couple years later, I thought that I was over Gina, but I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over her. Before dating Lisa, I found myself trying to find someone who looked like Gina. It’s not easy finding girls who have long red hair. After awhile, I realized that I was trying to replace what I had lost and that wasn’t cool. I needed to move on. And I thought I had when Lisa came into my life. She wasn’t anything like Gina. Gina was tall with gorgeous legs that went on forever. Lisa was much shorter and had blond hair. She was a Tasmanian devil on the basketball court and could beat me in the mile without even trying.
Don’t get me wrong. What Lisa and I had was great. But there was just something that wasn’t there on my part. Lisa sensed it from the very beginning but convinced herself that it didn’t matter, that she loved me enough for both of us. When she told me this it broke my heart. I never meant to hurt her, and I really wished that I could have felt the way about her that she felt about me. We agreed that Jack was the best of both of us and that for his sake, we’d be friends. Lisa’s happy and I’m happy that she’s happy.
I get lonely sometimes and I’ve dated some, but there’s no one special in my life. There’s a woman I work with that I sometimes hook up with. It’s convenient and she doesn’t want any commitment so it works. But it’s just sex. That’s all. And it always leaves me feeling like there has to be more.
****
Gina
Even though Sue’s my best friend, I never told her that Smith raped me. There were so many times that I wanted to, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. The only person I told was the therapist who helped me deal with the flashbacks and pain long after that brutal night. So when Sue went on and on about the funeral when she called, it was hard for me to listen. I hated the bastard. I was glad he was dead.
“The line was out the building and around the corner,” Sue said. “I figured there would be a crowd, but it was way more people than I had expected. Coach Smith must have touched a lot of lives. ”
I coughed. And ruined some , I thought. I picked up the magazine that had come in the mail that day and thumbed through it while I listened.
“And they had this slideshow with photos of him and his family over the years that played continuously, and his baseball uniform and glove and some other stuff was scattered on tables throughout the room.”
I gritted my teeth. “That’s nice.”
“I felt so bad for his wife and sons. They looked pretty whipped,” Sue said.
“I’m sure.”
“Are you listening to me, Gina?”
How did she know I was looking at my magazine? “Of course, why?
“Well, it doesn’t seem like you’re saying much,” Sue said.
“I’m listening. You said his wife and sons looked pretty whipped. See? I’m listening.”
I could hear Sue sigh through my earpiece.
“You never liked him much, did you?” Sue asked.
I could feel my muscles tense up, especially my neck and shoulders. I had spent the last twenty years dealing with what the creep did to me. No, I hated the son of a bitch.
“He was OK,” I told Sue.
“Remember our calc final? It was so hard. You were the only one in the entire class who got an A, which totally amazed me because I was doing better than you were in the class.”
I silently snickered. If only Sue knew why I got the A.
“Oh, almost forgot. Mike was at Smith’s funeral. Chloe and I ran into Cookie and her two girls at the mall. She waited in line with Mike.”
Hearing Mike and Smith mentioned in the same sentence made my heart race. Then I realized I was holding my breath and forced myself to breathe.
“Oh,
Similar Books
