Read Online Get Smart-ish by Gitty Daneshvari - Free Book Online
Authors: Gitty Daneshvari
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being mistaken for office furniture happens more often than I care to admit,â Jonathan said as Shelley shook her head.
âIâve been mistaken for a bench, sure. A desk once or twice, but your common office chair? Never!â Shelley said with a huff.
âMy sincere apologies, Glasses,â Darwin offered with a smirk.
âSo youâre sticking with Glasses. Are you sure you donât want to give Super Shelley or Shelltastic a try?â
âI donât think so,â Darwin responded as Oli entered the room, Hattie trailing behind him with a newspaper in hand.
âA three-letter word for
feline
?â Hattie mumbled to herself as she took a seat. âThis chair is terribly uncomfortable. Personally Iâve always been fond of hard beds and soft chairs. And ice cream. I love ice cream.â
âLook at her, Teeth!â Darwin blustered. âSheâs struggling to do the crossword and itâs not even the weekend edition!â
âHattie was a million times smarter than we are and now look at her,â Jonathan whispered to Shelley. âIf Nina infects us, weâre pretty much done.â
âIf I become any less focused than I already am, Iâm pretty sure my parents will downgrade me to niece or cousin. Just to save face,â Shelley admitted.
âItâs not easy being the only non-genius in a family of geniuses, is it, Shells?â
âItâs like riding a bicycle when you only have one leg. Seriously hard,â Shelley said solemnly before breaking into a smile. âAlthough, if everyone in my family were infected with LIQ-30, I would be the smartest one. The top of the food chain, not that I would eat them, because Iâm not a cannibal. Although, if you leave me in the woods long enough with a dead body, I could be swayed. But only if there was barbecue sauce.â
âThis conversation just got really weird. And not in a good way. In an Iâm-definitely-going-to-lock-my-bedroom-door-tonight kind of way,â Jonathan said as Randolph huddled with Darwin and Oli in the corner.
âRelax, I would never eat you. Youâre too skinny. It wouldnât be worth all the effort to make a fire, marinate you. Okay, Iâm starting to see what you were saying about the conversation getting weird.â
After a few seconds, Randolph stepped away from Darwin and Oli, who then lured Hattie down to the cafeteria with the promise of milk and cookies.
âI hope you donât mind, but I asked them to step out for a moment so that we might have a talk,â Randolph said, motioning for Jonathan and Shelley to take seats at a nearby table.
âI must admit that after hearing of your near-death experience last night, my first reaction was to pull you from the field. To send you back to America on the next plane. But then I got to thinking about President Aronsâs great faith in you and your ability to move through life without registering on anyoneâs radar,â Randolph explained.
âThatâs what weâre known for, by the few people who remember us, anyway,â Jonathan said.
âItâs true that there is something about you two that makes you slip oneâs mind,â Randolph admitted.
âWhat are you guys talking about? Tons of people remember me,â Shelley interjected.
âUnfortunately, the truth hurts Shelley so much that she refuses to accept it,â Jonathan explained to Randolph. âItâs not an easy road to walk, that of the forgotten child.â
âForgotten
child
? More like forgotten
young lady
!â Shelley corrected Jonathan.
âSo now youâre admitting youâre forgettable?â
âWhat does it matter if I admit it or not? Canât you just let me be happy for a minute? Thereâs no reason to blow out the candle inside me.â
âThe candle inside you?â Jonathan repeated with a chuckle.
âWhat? Youâre the only one who
âIâve been mistaken for a bench, sure. A desk once or twice, but your common office chair? Never!â Shelley said with a huff.
âMy sincere apologies, Glasses,â Darwin offered with a smirk.
âSo youâre sticking with Glasses. Are you sure you donât want to give Super Shelley or Shelltastic a try?â
âI donât think so,â Darwin responded as Oli entered the room, Hattie trailing behind him with a newspaper in hand.
âA three-letter word for
feline
?â Hattie mumbled to herself as she took a seat. âThis chair is terribly uncomfortable. Personally Iâve always been fond of hard beds and soft chairs. And ice cream. I love ice cream.â
âLook at her, Teeth!â Darwin blustered. âSheâs struggling to do the crossword and itâs not even the weekend edition!â
âHattie was a million times smarter than we are and now look at her,â Jonathan whispered to Shelley. âIf Nina infects us, weâre pretty much done.â
âIf I become any less focused than I already am, Iâm pretty sure my parents will downgrade me to niece or cousin. Just to save face,â Shelley admitted.
âItâs not easy being the only non-genius in a family of geniuses, is it, Shells?â
âItâs like riding a bicycle when you only have one leg. Seriously hard,â Shelley said solemnly before breaking into a smile. âAlthough, if everyone in my family were infected with LIQ-30, I would be the smartest one. The top of the food chain, not that I would eat them, because Iâm not a cannibal. Although, if you leave me in the woods long enough with a dead body, I could be swayed. But only if there was barbecue sauce.â
âThis conversation just got really weird. And not in a good way. In an Iâm-definitely-going-to-lock-my-bedroom-door-tonight kind of way,â Jonathan said as Randolph huddled with Darwin and Oli in the corner.
âRelax, I would never eat you. Youâre too skinny. It wouldnât be worth all the effort to make a fire, marinate you. Okay, Iâm starting to see what you were saying about the conversation getting weird.â
After a few seconds, Randolph stepped away from Darwin and Oli, who then lured Hattie down to the cafeteria with the promise of milk and cookies.
âI hope you donât mind, but I asked them to step out for a moment so that we might have a talk,â Randolph said, motioning for Jonathan and Shelley to take seats at a nearby table.
âI must admit that after hearing of your near-death experience last night, my first reaction was to pull you from the field. To send you back to America on the next plane. But then I got to thinking about President Aronsâs great faith in you and your ability to move through life without registering on anyoneâs radar,â Randolph explained.
âThatâs what weâre known for, by the few people who remember us, anyway,â Jonathan said.
âItâs true that there is something about you two that makes you slip oneâs mind,â Randolph admitted.
âWhat are you guys talking about? Tons of people remember me,â Shelley interjected.
âUnfortunately, the truth hurts Shelley so much that she refuses to accept it,â Jonathan explained to Randolph. âItâs not an easy road to walk, that of the forgotten child.â
âForgotten
child
? More like forgotten
young lady
!â Shelley corrected Jonathan.
âSo now youâre admitting youâre forgettable?â
âWhat does it matter if I admit it or not? Canât you just let me be happy for a minute? Thereâs no reason to blow out the candle inside me.â
âThe candle inside you?â Jonathan repeated with a chuckle.
âWhat? Youâre the only one who
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