Read Online Get Smart 8 - Max Smart Loses Control by William Johnston - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: William Johnston
Tags: Tv Tie-Ins
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5.
M AX AND 99 rented a car from an unbelievable organization called a rent-a-car agency, then, after asking for directions, sped toward the Leg Up Dude Ranch. As they neared it, driving slowly now, a figure suddenly stepped from behind a cactus and waved to them.
“Max! That’s Hymie!” 99 said.
“It could be a KAOS agent disguised as Hymie, 99,” Max replied. “Maybe we better run him down first and ask questions later.”
“Max—stop it. Try to get along with Hymie. It isn’t his fault he’s in charge.”
Max pulled over, and Hymie came trotting up to the car.
“Hi, Hymie,” 99 said cordially. “How did you know it was us?”
“I heard you talking when you were still miles away,” Hymie replied. “My super sensitive hearing, you know.”
“Oh . . . sure. Gee, I hope you didn’t hear anything that offended you.”
“Not until you drove up just a minute ago—when Max wanted to run me down,” Hymie replied.
“Well, of course, Hymie, I didn’t mean that,” Max said. “If your Uncle HIM should ask, you can tell him it was just a little joke.”
“Hymie,” 99 said, “The Chief told us you think you’ve found Number One.”
Hymie nodded. “She’s up ahead—at the dude ranch,” he said. “I heard her ticking. She’s having a fine time. From what I can gather from the ticking, Ways and Means have got her well oiled ”
“You mean-—”
“I mean well oiled,” Hymie said, “I can’t understand half of what she ticks.”
“We better get in there and save her,” Max said. “Lead on, Hymie. We’ll storm the place.”
Hymie shook his head. “That won’t work, Max,” he said. “There are guards all around. They look like ordinary ranch hands, but, in fact, they’re KAOS agents.”
“Mmmmm . . . let’s take a look at the place,” Max said. “With my experience, I’ll probably be able to spot a weakness in the KAOS defense.”
Hymie led the way across the desert toward the Leg Up Dude Ranch. As they approached it, he motioned for Max and 99 to crouch, and then he halted the advance just as they neared the top of a sand dune.
“The ranch is just on the other side of this dune,” Hymie explained. “Don’t let the guards see you.”
Max and 99 peeked over the top of the mound of sand. They saw a large fenced-in area. There was a big guest house, and behind it a pool, and then a smaller house for the ranch hands. In the corral there were two animals—one that looked a great deal like a horse and another that looked like a cow.
“Baffling,” Max said.
“What is, Max?” 99 asked.
“Why they call it the ‘Leg Up,’” Max replied. “I don’t get the connection.”
“Max, that isn’t important. Do you see the weakness in the defense?”
“Of course I do, 99. It was obvious at first sight. That ranch is a sitting duck for a man with a cannister of hypnotizing vapor.”
“Max . . .”
“I know, I know, 99—the same old problem. But, after all, all I promised was to spot the weakness. I didn’t say I could do anything about it.”
Max and 99 ducked down behind the dune again.
“I don’t suppose you thought to bring a cannister of hypnotizing vapor,” Max said to Hymie.
“What’s that, Max?”
Max turned to 99. “What can I do? I’m at the mercy of my leader. If he fails, I fail—it’s as simple as that. However,” he went on, “there’s always the alternative. If the initial plan happens to flop—due to bungling by the higher-ups—there’s always a second plan to fall back on.” To Hymie, he said, “You do have a second plan, I assume.”
“I propose that we infiltrate the ranch,” Hymie said.
“Well, that’s certainly better than your first idea—especially since you forgot to bring the hypnotizing vapor,” Max said. “And, as a matter of fact, it was what I was going to suggest, too. Tell me, Hymie, how do you think I think we ought to do it?”
“Max, you and I could apply for jobs as ranch hands,” Hymie
5.
M AX AND 99 rented a car from an unbelievable organization called a rent-a-car agency, then, after asking for directions, sped toward the Leg Up Dude Ranch. As they neared it, driving slowly now, a figure suddenly stepped from behind a cactus and waved to them.
“Max! That’s Hymie!” 99 said.
“It could be a KAOS agent disguised as Hymie, 99,” Max replied. “Maybe we better run him down first and ask questions later.”
“Max—stop it. Try to get along with Hymie. It isn’t his fault he’s in charge.”
Max pulled over, and Hymie came trotting up to the car.
“Hi, Hymie,” 99 said cordially. “How did you know it was us?”
“I heard you talking when you were still miles away,” Hymie replied. “My super sensitive hearing, you know.”
“Oh . . . sure. Gee, I hope you didn’t hear anything that offended you.”
“Not until you drove up just a minute ago—when Max wanted to run me down,” Hymie replied.
“Well, of course, Hymie, I didn’t mean that,” Max said. “If your Uncle HIM should ask, you can tell him it was just a little joke.”
“Hymie,” 99 said, “The Chief told us you think you’ve found Number One.”
Hymie nodded. “She’s up ahead—at the dude ranch,” he said. “I heard her ticking. She’s having a fine time. From what I can gather from the ticking, Ways and Means have got her well oiled ”
“You mean-—”
“I mean well oiled,” Hymie said, “I can’t understand half of what she ticks.”
“We better get in there and save her,” Max said. “Lead on, Hymie. We’ll storm the place.”
Hymie shook his head. “That won’t work, Max,” he said. “There are guards all around. They look like ordinary ranch hands, but, in fact, they’re KAOS agents.”
“Mmmmm . . . let’s take a look at the place,” Max said. “With my experience, I’ll probably be able to spot a weakness in the KAOS defense.”
Hymie led the way across the desert toward the Leg Up Dude Ranch. As they approached it, he motioned for Max and 99 to crouch, and then he halted the advance just as they neared the top of a sand dune.
“The ranch is just on the other side of this dune,” Hymie explained. “Don’t let the guards see you.”
Max and 99 peeked over the top of the mound of sand. They saw a large fenced-in area. There was a big guest house, and behind it a pool, and then a smaller house for the ranch hands. In the corral there were two animals—one that looked a great deal like a horse and another that looked like a cow.
“Baffling,” Max said.
“What is, Max?” 99 asked.
“Why they call it the ‘Leg Up,’” Max replied. “I don’t get the connection.”
“Max, that isn’t important. Do you see the weakness in the defense?”
“Of course I do, 99. It was obvious at first sight. That ranch is a sitting duck for a man with a cannister of hypnotizing vapor.”
“Max . . .”
“I know, I know, 99—the same old problem. But, after all, all I promised was to spot the weakness. I didn’t say I could do anything about it.”
Max and 99 ducked down behind the dune again.
“I don’t suppose you thought to bring a cannister of hypnotizing vapor,” Max said to Hymie.
“What’s that, Max?”
Max turned to 99. “What can I do? I’m at the mercy of my leader. If he fails, I fail—it’s as simple as that. However,” he went on, “there’s always the alternative. If the initial plan happens to flop—due to bungling by the higher-ups—there’s always a second plan to fall back on.” To Hymie, he said, “You do have a second plan, I assume.”
“I propose that we infiltrate the ranch,” Hymie said.
“Well, that’s certainly better than your first idea—especially since you forgot to bring the hypnotizing vapor,” Max said. “And, as a matter of fact, it was what I was going to suggest, too. Tell me, Hymie, how do you think I think we ought to do it?”
“Max, you and I could apply for jobs as ranch hands,” Hymie
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