Read Online George's Grand Tour by Caroline Vermalle - Free Book Online Page B

stared at Charles in surprise. Charles liked the idea of pig Latin, it made his brain work hard, and that was no bad thing these days.
    The waiter started to laugh as well.
    â€˜What kind of language is that you’re speaking? If you like, we can speak Breton!’
    â€˜No thanks, I think we’ve had enough for now. Right, we’ll take two galettes , a fermière and a Chavignol , please.’
    â€˜But while we’re on the subject of foreign languages, Monsieur—’ George cut in.
    â€˜Oh, because Breton is a foreign language, is it?’ said the waiter, outraged. ‘And in Brest, of all places!’
    â€˜Sorry, sorry! My apologies. But might there be some young person here who can speak text language?’
    â€˜Oh yes, we’ve got an expert here, Alexandre. If you’ll wait a moment, I’ll get him for you. Alexandre!’
    Â 
    â€˜Alexandre, send through an order for two galettes , a fermière and a Chavignol , and then would you kindly explain to these gentlemen – as quickly as possible, mind, you’ve got other things to be getting on with – how to use text language?’
    Young Alexandre, a blond boy of about twenty with a whisper of a moustache, stiffly gelled hair and a piercing in one ear, answered shyly:
    â€˜Well, you don’t have to know text language to—’
    â€˜Yes, yes, I know,’ interrupted George, ‘but if you write it the way you’re meant to, you know, swoosh.’ He gestured vaguely with his arms. ‘We want to learn, so show us.’
    The young waiter perched on the end of the banquette and took hold of the biro hanging around his neck.
    â€˜So, the point of the whole thing is to shorten words as much as possible. So, like, “How are you?” would be “hw r u”, you see?’
    He wrote ‘hw r u’ on the paper tablecloth.
    â€˜So, in a text, you’d know that means “How are you?”.’
    â€˜You mean, the point is to leave out vowels?’ said George.
    Alexandre thought for a moment.
    â€˜Actually, not always. You’ve just got to shorten the word as much as possible. So, um, OK, you can leave out letters, or you can write with numbers. For example, the “one” sound can be written with a figure “1” and the “to” sound with a figure “2”, and so on.’
    â€˜OK, let me give it a go,’ said George. ‘Let’s see … “I’ve gone to a restaurant in Brest”.’ Then he wrote on the tablecloth: ‘Iv gon 2 a restaurant in Brest’.
    â€˜I would have put a Brest restaurant ,’ Charles pointed out. ‘Then it’s even shorter.’
    George shot his friend a disapproving glare. Alexandre seemed more enthusiastic now, and grabbed the pen from George to correct the sentence.
    â€˜But you can make it even shorter.’
    He crossed out George’s words and wrote:
    â€˜iv gon 2 a rstrnt in Brest.’
    Another waiter appeared.
    â€˜What are you all doing?’
    â€˜We’re writing text messages,’ George replied.
    â€˜On a tablecloth? I’m not sure they’ll get very far! Ha!’
    Ignoring the joke, George studied the sentence, frowning.
    â€˜OK, I see. Well, “rstrnt” doesn’t sound as nice as “rest- aurrant ”, but OK, if it works better …’
    â€˜So, the most important thing,’ said Alexandre, ‘is that you now have more space to write other things. You’re always trying to save on each word so you can put as many as possible in the text.’
    â€˜That’s just where you’re wrong, young man. I save for the sake of saving!’ George exclaimed.
    â€˜Alexandre,’ Charles interrupted. ‘Show us another example, so we’re sure we know how to do it. We don’t want to make any mistakes!’
    So Alexandre carried on the lesson.
    â€˜OK, let’s say: “I’m going