Read Online GAY REALITY : THE TEAM GUIDO STORY by John Chaffetz - Free Book Online Page A

give me a blow job; something she’d never, ever done before. She was really trying. She knew something was wrong and she sat me down and asked me if I was having an affair with another woman. I said ‘no’ and walked out!
    “In 1986, around my 40 th birthday, I knew it couldn’t go on. I told her I was bi-sexual and she went ballistic. She yelled at me, ‘I’ll expose you to everyone!’ I told her it had to end and she told me that I had to tell her parents, our kids, my parents, not that I was gay, just that I was leaving.”
    He rises and leaves to get us a soft drink. He’s been open, honest and straightforward, but I am certain that it has been a stressful revelation for him. Several minutes later he returns and continues.
    “So, I told everyone that I was leaving. It wasn’t too bad. No one really asked me why. Only one comment really rocked me.
    “When I told my mother, she actually said to me, ‘You know, I think we never should have said what your dad and I said to you all those years ago when you were so close to that young man. I know that you’ve been so unhappy through the years. That was a mistake that we made with you!’ All I could think was, Wow.
    “I can tell you, John, that it was a bad mistake to not tell my daughters right then, that I was gay. I wasn’t gutsy enough, so even worse, I shunned them. Eventually I told the older one. She understood and she understands. The younger one was less accepting. Now we’re fairly close. They still go on vacations with me.”
    “And your ex-wife?”
    For the first time in close to half an hour he smiles. “Well, after 15 years, she just recently got re-married!
    “Throughout those years I tried to stay involved with my ex and my daughters, like on holidays and special events.”
    The smile is gone.
    “But she, my ex, was very angry and very bitter. She hated me for deceiving her. To some extent I guess that I could be accused of that but, at least at first, it wasn’t a knowing deception on my part.
    “My married friends, for the most part, felt deception. Only one of them ever seemed to understand me.” The smile re-appears. “Plus, another one, when I told him, he looked at me and said, ‘Oh, that’s no problem, I’m gay too!’
    “I kind of left all that, or them, behind, on purpose. I’ve always been quite non-confrontational. Now, there’s no animosity from anyone. It’s great!”

EMOTIONAL E-MAIL  
    BY THE spring of 2002, e-mail to Team Guido had abated significantly. Then one letter arrived that hit home with both Joe and Bill:
    “Hi, my name is *Erik, I’m 17, I live in a Rocky Mountain state and I’m a big fan of you guys. I need your help! Right now I’m trying to overcome my own homosexual feelings. The problem I have with this is that I’m a Catholic and my religion believes that it’s wrong to be gay. The thing is, I feel I am gay. Though I haven’t slept with anyone, or even dated anyone, I have strong homosexual desires and fantasies that I can’t get out of my brain. I told my Mom these things and, though she doesn’t approve, she says she will still love me. But if I do become gay, I will be disowned from my house and from my family. I will have nowhere to go. Please, I really need help! How can I become gay when I would betray my whole family and religion? PLEASE I BEG TO BOTH OF YOU, HELP ME!!”
    Team Guido took a hard look at Erik’s plea. “We are not therapists,” said Joe. “This youngster is at a monumental point in his life and needs input from professionals. Bill and I immediately turned his letter over to an expert, who several days later sent a wonderful response to Erik, with a copy to us.”
    The highlights:
• The Gay & Lesbian Hotline helps people with information, local resources, and e-mail or telephone peer-counseling, regarding questions and situations like you have expressed.
• Congratulations on taking the difficult step of writing abut your feelings. That is not easy.
• Nobody