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rest of his life in jail and leave his children without a dad, or grass Howard up. And let’s face it, he wouldn’t even have been in there in the first place if it wasn’t for Howard sending Moynihan over despite knowing he was working for the DEA. At first I was a bit pissed off with Patrick for testifying against Howard, because Howard had manipulated me to be pissed off. But when you think about it really, he didn’t have any choice.
    When he first got to the States, Howard said he was going to defend himself but I persuaded him he really needed a lawyer. He was in America now. Then he kept insisting he wasn’t going to plea-bargain, he would go to trial. I’m convinced that if he had gone to trial he would have been found guilty and he would never have got out. They would have buried him alive. They’d have put him somewhere like Marion where prisoners are kept underground.
    Finally Howard accepted that with Patrick, Ernie and all the other defendants except me testifying against him there was no way he could risk going to trial, so he ended up plea-bargaining. He could have received a sentence up to forty years, but the judge ended up giving him twenty-five. It sounded horrendous, but I knew he would be eligible for parole, so for me it was a bit of a relief because I could see it wasn’t going to be for ever, for ever, for ever. It was a fixed sentence and then there were appeals and in fact, as it turned out, the judge lowered his sentence at the appeal and Howard ended up getting parole after seven years. I always felt it wouldn’t be as long as it could have been. Sometimes you just know that sort of thing.
    The judge in his sentencing said Howard should be sent to a jail with a good psychiatric unit. He obviously thought Howard was mentally unsound. I thought he was mistaken at the time but I agree with him now. To have carried on dealing when you’ve seen how much evidence they’ve got against you is completely bizarre.
    The worst thing was that, because of my criminal record, I couldn’t visit Howard during the seven years he was in prison. I missed him terribly. It’s very hard bringing kids up completely on your own. It’s hard enough if you’re separated but at least you have a partner coming round every now and then or sharing the joy of the kids’ achievements. It’s very demoralising when you haven’t got that at all.
    Though I spoke on the phone to Howard all the time, I never really had long enough to talk to him properly. The kids were always clamouring to speak to him, and there wasn’t enough time.
    In fact I was very forgiving, very supportive. I didn’t feel resentful at all. I worried about Howard greatly and missed him so much. I’d do petitions, all the time working to get him out in one way or another. Meanwhile he found ways to make prison bearable, as Howard did. He used all his charm. Got a good job teaching, playing tennis. I think he did what he needed to get through.
    And then, in April 1995, he came home.
    You’d think most people who’d put their family through what we had all gone through would come home and put their heads down and try to make amends, but Howard’s attitude was more ‘I’ve suffered seven years in jail. Now I’m going to have fun’. It was as though he was oblivious to what the children and I had gone through.
    Money was still a problem so as soon as he came out, I got in touch with the
News of the World
. They flew out to Palma and did an interview with us about him returning home from prison. They paid us £15,000. Immediately there was more money than we’d had in God knows how long. Howard naturally wanted to blow the lot on a holiday. And sulked when I said it wasn’t sensible, as we had to figure out how we were going to make a regular living.
    I tried to make Howard promise to go straight and he said: ‘Of course.’ He did take a job teaching as a private tutor for a while in GCSE and A level maths and physics. I continued working