Read Online Friends With Way Too Many Benefits by Luke Young, Ian Dalton - Free Book Online
Authors: Luke Young, Ian Dalton
Tags: Humor, Romance, Literature & Fiction, Contemporary, Romantic Comedy, General Humor, Humor & Satire
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covering her mouth. "Dr. Flannigan would like to have a look."
"Okay." With his eyes closed, Brian rose from his seat and pulled down his shorts. The masked woman got down on her knees and studied it closely. "Geez, how the hell did you do that, Bri?"
"Huh?" He looked down at the top of the woman's head, shocked.
Making eye contact with him, Victoria pulled down her mask and flashed him a grin. "Nice penis, Bri..."
"You... you—"
"Well, it was a nice one. You've got to be more careful with that thing."
"Fuck me." He slumped down in his seat and shook his head, clutching his chest and catching his breath.
Becky burst into laughter and Brian pointed her way. "Is she even a real doctor?"
"Yes," Victoria replied.
"On what planet is this even remotely okay to do to someone?"
"Um, on this one." Victoria replied.
Becky frowned. "Don't go around faking seizures in front middle aged pregnant women and—"
"Hey, I'm not middle aged?"
"Yeah, right?" Becky scoffed.
"So this is because of that whole thing?" Brian narrowed his eyes.
"Yep."
"I thought we agreed to stop all this?"
"We did, but it was her idea?" Pointing to Becky, Victoria shrugged.
"Aren't you doctors supposed to do no harm, this feels like harm... big time!"
"Like I said, I'm very protective of pregnant women."
"That I can tell... Oh and thank you. This was really fun," he said with his eyes bugging out. "So, about my, you know..."
"You're going to be fine." Becky wrote in her pad." Just apply this cream three times a day for about a week." Tearing off the prescription, she handed it to him. "Oh and also avoid using a curling iron on your pubic hair and you should be fine."
Brian held his head and sighed as the ladies broke into a giggle.
7
Ten days later Jillian and Brian were sitting out by the pool sipping a glass of wine at 11:25 p.m. when her cell phone rang. Picking the phone up from the table, she saw it was from her new agent. "It's Dan. I've got to take this."
"I'm kinda tired. I'm going to go up," Brian said.
"I'll be up soon."
Brian headed for the house as she answered the call, "Hi Dan."
"I've got great news. Chance wants to do the movie."
"Wonderful."
"That's not all. The reason he wants to do the movie is even better news."
"What do you mean?"
"Who's the biggest actress in Hollywood right now? Who would be your dream pick to play you in a movie?"
"Um, I don't know... Angelina Jolie."
"No, who else?"
"Cameron Diaz."
"Noooo," He grumbled. "Give me one more name."
"Dan, just tell me," she said in a tired voice.
"Amanda Joseph," He said in a slow yet enthusiastic tone. "Turns out she's a big fan of the books and read the screenplay and she wants to do it. She wants it bad."
Jillian stared off across the moonlit pool with her eyes glazing over.
"Jillian? Jillian?"
"What."
"Did you hear me? Are we breaking up?"
"Huh, no… Really Amanda Joseph?"
"Yes, can you believe it? Fucking Amanda Jo… She actually started playing tennis after she read the novel last year and she's really into it now."
"Oh… um, I'm not sure I, uh, see her playing the role."
"You’re kidding right?"
"No, I thought we were close to getting Reese."
"The studio doesn't want her now because of that whole police incident with her husband and the DUI."
"What about Leslie Mann? Weren't they talking to her?"
"She's doing the sequel to Titanic."
"What, how could there be a sequel. The boat sunk, I mean, where can the story really go from there?"
"I have no idea, but Jillian, listen to me. One of the biggest romantic comedy stars wants to be in your movie. In fact we only got Chance on board because of Amanda. Her involvement in this film basically guarantees its success."
"That's great, but I really think the studio should reconsider Reese, don't her numbers—"
"Wait, why aren't you excited about this? What's your issue with Amanda?"
"I, I don't have any issue with her. It's just that I, um, don't really see her playing me, you
"Okay." With his eyes closed, Brian rose from his seat and pulled down his shorts. The masked woman got down on her knees and studied it closely. "Geez, how the hell did you do that, Bri?"
"Huh?" He looked down at the top of the woman's head, shocked.
Making eye contact with him, Victoria pulled down her mask and flashed him a grin. "Nice penis, Bri..."
"You... you—"
"Well, it was a nice one. You've got to be more careful with that thing."
"Fuck me." He slumped down in his seat and shook his head, clutching his chest and catching his breath.
Becky burst into laughter and Brian pointed her way. "Is she even a real doctor?"
"Yes," Victoria replied.
"On what planet is this even remotely okay to do to someone?"
"Um, on this one." Victoria replied.
Becky frowned. "Don't go around faking seizures in front middle aged pregnant women and—"
"Hey, I'm not middle aged?"
"Yeah, right?" Becky scoffed.
"So this is because of that whole thing?" Brian narrowed his eyes.
"Yep."
"I thought we agreed to stop all this?"
"We did, but it was her idea?" Pointing to Becky, Victoria shrugged.
"Aren't you doctors supposed to do no harm, this feels like harm... big time!"
"Like I said, I'm very protective of pregnant women."
"That I can tell... Oh and thank you. This was really fun," he said with his eyes bugging out. "So, about my, you know..."
"You're going to be fine." Becky wrote in her pad." Just apply this cream three times a day for about a week." Tearing off the prescription, she handed it to him. "Oh and also avoid using a curling iron on your pubic hair and you should be fine."
Brian held his head and sighed as the ladies broke into a giggle.
7
Ten days later Jillian and Brian were sitting out by the pool sipping a glass of wine at 11:25 p.m. when her cell phone rang. Picking the phone up from the table, she saw it was from her new agent. "It's Dan. I've got to take this."
"I'm kinda tired. I'm going to go up," Brian said.
"I'll be up soon."
Brian headed for the house as she answered the call, "Hi Dan."
"I've got great news. Chance wants to do the movie."
"Wonderful."
"That's not all. The reason he wants to do the movie is even better news."
"What do you mean?"
"Who's the biggest actress in Hollywood right now? Who would be your dream pick to play you in a movie?"
"Um, I don't know... Angelina Jolie."
"No, who else?"
"Cameron Diaz."
"Noooo," He grumbled. "Give me one more name."
"Dan, just tell me," she said in a tired voice.
"Amanda Joseph," He said in a slow yet enthusiastic tone. "Turns out she's a big fan of the books and read the screenplay and she wants to do it. She wants it bad."
Jillian stared off across the moonlit pool with her eyes glazing over.
"Jillian? Jillian?"
"What."
"Did you hear me? Are we breaking up?"
"Huh, no… Really Amanda Joseph?"
"Yes, can you believe it? Fucking Amanda Jo… She actually started playing tennis after she read the novel last year and she's really into it now."
"Oh… um, I'm not sure I, uh, see her playing the role."
"You’re kidding right?"
"No, I thought we were close to getting Reese."
"The studio doesn't want her now because of that whole police incident with her husband and the DUI."
"What about Leslie Mann? Weren't they talking to her?"
"She's doing the sequel to Titanic."
"What, how could there be a sequel. The boat sunk, I mean, where can the story really go from there?"
"I have no idea, but Jillian, listen to me. One of the biggest romantic comedy stars wants to be in your movie. In fact we only got Chance on board because of Amanda. Her involvement in this film basically guarantees its success."
"That's great, but I really think the studio should reconsider Reese, don't her numbers—"
"Wait, why aren't you excited about this? What's your issue with Amanda?"
"I, I don't have any issue with her. It's just that I, um, don't really see her playing me, you
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