where I loved the feel of sand between my toes and where the sun always shone. Where I can have all the ice-cream I ever wanted and as I look out at the sea I can watch the dolphins play together. I find some comfort in my memories and my nightmare slowly fades into the background, but I know I will carry it with me for the rest of the day.
I decide in the early hours of the morning that I am not going to sit around and do nothing or even wait for news from Lara or the police. Today, I'm going to see if I can find out where Noah is and it will start by me making phone calls to private hospitals in the area.
I hear the radio blasting from the kitchen as I finally get my weary body out of bed. I don’t even bother showering or getting dressed. I grab my phone, put my dressing gown on and head straight for the lounge. I plop down on the sofa and rub my eyes trying to wake myself up a bit more and I check my phone to see if there are any messages but I find none waiting for me. Monica starts singing about being someone’s truly, madly, deeply and I smile a little as she must be tone deaf because she sounds like a cat being strangled. She enters the room doing a little dance and stops in her tracks when she spots me sitting there.
“Morning Peppa, you look like shit.” She comes over and sits down next to me.
“I didn’t sleep to well so you're right, I probably do and I feel like shit too.”
She places a hand over mine and I turn to focus on her. “I’m here for you, you know that right? If you want to scream and shout, cry on my shoulder or even punch something, I’m your girl.” Her arms go around me for a hug and I find myself with a mouthful of hair as I try and mutter a thank you to her.
I pull away from her and jump up from my seat, “Right, I need a phone, a pen, some paper and google. I refuse to sit here all day in self-pity.”
Monica looks up at me bewildered, “What are you planning on doing?”
I walk over to the landline phone and search for some paper but there isn’t any and I turn back to Monica and say, “I’m going to ring every private hospital in this town or the whole damn country if I have to. I need to know where he is Monica, I can’t go on like this.” I hold back the tears that I know will come if I let them. I move quickly out of Monica’s reach as her arms come up to embrace me again. I walk past her and say, “I won’t be long. I’m just going to check in Noah’s office to see if I can find a note pad.”
As I open the door to Noah’s office and step in, my eyes instantly close and I breathe in the smell of his aftershave that still lingers in the room. When I open my eyes again my heart stills as I see Noah sitting at his desk smiling up at me. I know what I’m seeing isn’t real and my breath catches in my throat. I reach an arm out for him as his figure disappears in front of my eyes. I have to take a deep breath in and slowly let it out a few times to calm myself. I shake my head to bring me back to some normality. I dash to his desk and find what I am looking for. I need to get out of here so I grab the note pad and pen and leave. As I close the door I take one last glance at the now empty chair and my heart sinks as I think, will Noah ever sit in there again?
When I get back to the lounge, I find Monica sitting there with her laptop and she pats the seat next to her. I take the hint and go and sit. “Right, I have used our friend google and she has come back to me and has listed the nearest private hospitals within 100 miles. I want you to eat something.” She points to the coffee table and I see some toast and a cup of tea. “I have the phone here so I’m going to make the first call and no arguments Peppa, I’m not handing the phone over until that’s all gone.”
I pick up the tea and take a sip and Monica abruptly says, “Toast.” I reluctantly reach for the toast and I nibble on it.
Once she is happy that she has gotten her way she starts
I decide in the early hours of the morning that I am not going to sit around and do nothing or even wait for news from Lara or the police. Today, I'm going to see if I can find out where Noah is and it will start by me making phone calls to private hospitals in the area.
I hear the radio blasting from the kitchen as I finally get my weary body out of bed. I don’t even bother showering or getting dressed. I grab my phone, put my dressing gown on and head straight for the lounge. I plop down on the sofa and rub my eyes trying to wake myself up a bit more and I check my phone to see if there are any messages but I find none waiting for me. Monica starts singing about being someone’s truly, madly, deeply and I smile a little as she must be tone deaf because she sounds like a cat being strangled. She enters the room doing a little dance and stops in her tracks when she spots me sitting there.
“Morning Peppa, you look like shit.” She comes over and sits down next to me.
“I didn’t sleep to well so you're right, I probably do and I feel like shit too.”
She places a hand over mine and I turn to focus on her. “I’m here for you, you know that right? If you want to scream and shout, cry on my shoulder or even punch something, I’m your girl.” Her arms go around me for a hug and I find myself with a mouthful of hair as I try and mutter a thank you to her.
I pull away from her and jump up from my seat, “Right, I need a phone, a pen, some paper and google. I refuse to sit here all day in self-pity.”
Monica looks up at me bewildered, “What are you planning on doing?”
I walk over to the landline phone and search for some paper but there isn’t any and I turn back to Monica and say, “I’m going to ring every private hospital in this town or the whole damn country if I have to. I need to know where he is Monica, I can’t go on like this.” I hold back the tears that I know will come if I let them. I move quickly out of Monica’s reach as her arms come up to embrace me again. I walk past her and say, “I won’t be long. I’m just going to check in Noah’s office to see if I can find a note pad.”
As I open the door to Noah’s office and step in, my eyes instantly close and I breathe in the smell of his aftershave that still lingers in the room. When I open my eyes again my heart stills as I see Noah sitting at his desk smiling up at me. I know what I’m seeing isn’t real and my breath catches in my throat. I reach an arm out for him as his figure disappears in front of my eyes. I have to take a deep breath in and slowly let it out a few times to calm myself. I shake my head to bring me back to some normality. I dash to his desk and find what I am looking for. I need to get out of here so I grab the note pad and pen and leave. As I close the door I take one last glance at the now empty chair and my heart sinks as I think, will Noah ever sit in there again?
When I get back to the lounge, I find Monica sitting there with her laptop and she pats the seat next to her. I take the hint and go and sit. “Right, I have used our friend google and she has come back to me and has listed the nearest private hospitals within 100 miles. I want you to eat something.” She points to the coffee table and I see some toast and a cup of tea. “I have the phone here so I’m going to make the first call and no arguments Peppa, I’m not handing the phone over until that’s all gone.”
I pick up the tea and take a sip and Monica abruptly says, “Toast.” I reluctantly reach for the toast and I nibble on it.
Once she is happy that she has gotten her way she starts
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