electromagnetstrong enough to nearly destroy a city buildingâall to prevent an alien invasion of planet Earth.
Itâs been a pretty hectic and stressful few months.
And to be perfectly honest, itâs been a lot for a fourth-grader to handle.
Iâve had trouble sleeping. My grades have suffered. I dislocated my shoulder. It still clicks when I raise my hand. I had to erase my little brotherâs short-term memory, and now he seems weirder than ever. I almost got eaten alive by a pack of bears. Oh, and Iâve had to smuggle about four hundred tons of Ritz Crackers and SweeTarts into my room. Amp, my houseguest from the planet Erde, has some odd ideas about food and nutrition.
My parents are convinced I have mental issues, because they often catch me talking, laughing, and arguing in my roomâand they think Iâm alone! Momâs even taken me to Dr. Bellâs office twice now for âa chat,â but he just told her that I was sleepy and slightly confused, but an otherwise perfectly ordinary kid.
If he only knew . . .
There have also been a few more unexpected side effects caused by playing host to an alien. For example, actually knowing a real-life alien totally ruins every movie you see about aliens! And it changes the way you think about Earth: we are so not the center of the universe. Most important, it answers the age-old question about whether life exists on other planetsâit does, and I have the roommate to prove it.
All this makes evenings like tonight extra special.
See, tonight is my night off. Amp is hanging out with Olivia, my next-door neighbor, classmate, best friend, and the only other person on the planet who knows about the alien hiding out in the McGeesâ house.
Twice a week Olivia babysits Amp. Or, more accurately, she prevents him from starting a worldwide panic while I get some quality alone time.
What do I do while heâs away? These blissful few hours of peace and quiet are often spent cleaning my roomâAmp makes a serious mess. Ritz Cracker crumbs and dust are everywhere.He eats them like a termite eats wood. Sometimes I nap. Sometimes I just stare at the wall and let my brain relax. Like I said, hiding an alien from your parents and little brother can be pretty mentally exhausting.
As the sun dips below the garage roof outside my second-story bedroom window, I fall into a herky-jerky sleep, dreaming about eating a salami-and-worm sandwich in front of my classâitâs my brainâs favorite weird dream and one Iâve actually grown to enjoy.
Of course, that nap was the beginning of the end of Ampâs time here on Earth.
This is the story of how I let my guard down and how my nosy little brother stepped in and the world as we know it nearly ended.
Meltdown
A pparently, I didnât feel the first few Milk Duds bounce off my face.
It wasnât my fault. I was sound asleep.
Then one of the chocolate candies hit me square on the front tooth with a loud click . I sat up like startled cat.
I blinked in the dim light, trying to make sense of what had hit me.
I picked up the Milk Dud in question and stared at it like it was a bullet from another universe. I put a finger to my tooth and gave it a wiggle to see if the flying candy had knocked it loose.
My sheets, blankets, and pillow were covered with about forty Milk Duds. I popped one in my mouth and started chewing slowly.
Another candy zipped through the dim lightout of nowhere. I was slow to duckâand blink. It beaned me square in the open eye.
âOuch!â I shouted, pressing a palm to my stinging, watering eye.
I scrambled to the window. The flying candies were coming through the big hole in my window screen. I could see Olivia down in my backyard, eating from and holding the biggest box of Milk Duds I had ever seen.
âWhy are you throwing Milk Duds at my face?â I hissed. âYou almost blinded me!â
âI called, but your mom told me
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