Read Online Forbidden (Addicted to You Book 2) by NJ Flatman - Free Book Online Page B

her?
     
    “Because it drives you crazy that Avery has something that you don’t. That she was the one I picked at that stupid little party.” I shapped. “Because you look at me and see a guy that is supposed to want the high maintenance pretty girl. I’m not supposed to want someone like Avery.”
     
    I hadn’t meant it the way it sounded. Hell, until later I didn’t even realize how it sounded. I was trying to battle the bitch— to make her see that she wasn’t as great as she thought. I wanted her to know that I knew she was just jealous. It wasn’t meant to hurt Avery. She wasn’t meant to even hear it. But she did.
     
    She was standing there. She was watching. She was listening. And she heard me say it.
     
    I’m not supposed to be with someone like Avery.
     
    When I’d seen Colby’s face drop, my heart had went with it. I knew. She was standing there. She was listening. She heard it. And suddenly the way it sounded coming out was very clear. I knew.
     
    I’d turned to face her, but she wouldn’t look at me. She was staring at blondie. Her eyes were clouded. Her heart was broken. I could see it on her face. Every fear she’d had since I had asked for a lighter had been confirmed. I thought she was less than Colby.
     
    Until that moment I hadn’t realized how strong this was. Somewhat. I’d known she was important. There had been no doubt in my mind that I wanted her in my life. But standing there, it became something else. It became everything. She became everything. In that moment I knew without a doubt that I loved Avery more than I thought I could love anyone else in my life.
     
    I spoke her name, pleading silently with her to look at me. And she did. And the pain in her eyes and across her face killed me. What was left of my soul shattered inside of my body. I’d caused it. I’d caused that look. I’d been the reason she was destroyed.
     
    There was nothing I wouldn’t have done to rewind time right then. I would have given my life to have never seen that look on her face. I’d have stopped time to remove the tears that were falling from her face. I wanted to go, but I couldn’t. I had to stay. Unless she told me to leave, which she didn’t. I had to make this better.
     
    The bitch no longer mattered. In fact, I was pretty sure I forgot she was even there. All that mattered was to change it. To make her better. To take away her pain.
     
    She stared into my eyes and I couldn’t look away. I was broken. I was devastated. I was a shell of a person. All because I’d put pain into Avery’s heart. My mind spoke ninety miles an hour. Telling me this would keep going. Telling me that I needed to let her go. Telling me I would destroy her and this look would be all that was left. Mostly telling me that she’d realize what a bad person I was and she’d stop loving me. She’d stop smiling when she saw me or heard my name.
     
    But I didn’t listen. I just looked at her. Much like our first night, we understood what wasn’t being said. We understood the silence. She knew, even as the tears fell, that I loved her and that her pain was killing me. And I knew that my words could destroy her. Which meant that I’d never let them again. Because as we stood there, nothing being said, I knew that destroying Avery would be the equivalent of destroying myself.
     
    We’d been okay for the rest of the day, spending it together. Not talking much, but not needing to. We both knew what mattered. And Avery had curled up in my arms as we watched a movie and fallen asleep. Her head on my shoulder, her body making my arm numb, and a smile on her face. But even given the closeness we’d found after that morning, I still sat there in the silence hating myself.
     
    Because I’d hurt her, yes. But also because I was me and I knew that it wouldn’t be the last time. And she’d leave me and I didn’t know I could survive that.
     
     
     

Chapter 7
     
    “What the hell are you doing?” Kevin had