think of to make your life easy. I think
it was too much, I see that now. No amount of giving will ever make you a good
person. I can’t make you want to be a good person. That’s your call.”
My
insides wrench.
He
gets up, pacing and drinking his scotch. “I have done everything I can for you
and now it’s time to make you tow the line. I’m cutting you off. Your schooling
is almost over and I don’t think you’re ready for the obligation of the job I wanted
so badly for you to have.” His face turns, and replacing his angry dad look,
comes something of disgust and abandonment. “I’m done with you, Lana. I’m done
pretending that one day you’re going to grow up and be an adult. You’re
twenty-two years old for Christ’s sake. Twenty-two, not eighteen and making a
couple of bad decisions.” He drinks, making a long silence. My heart is racing,
pounding in my throat. The wine I stole from Geoff is threatening to come back
up.
My
dad leans against the chair and points at me. “The first year when you slept
with your professor and I had to stop his wife from going public, I assumed it
was because you were eighteen, not a slut. I didn’t actually know you were a
slut. I didn’t know the papers and rag magazines were right about you, because
you were my baby, and I wanted to believe that your failures in the past and
your mother’s death led you to rebel. I always believed you would find your way
back to me. But now I see no amount of money spent on a perfect childhood and a
perfect education will make you be perfect. You’re never going to be that. So I
can do one of two things. I can wash my hands of you like my father did my
youngest brother, or I can force you to work for your next cocaine fix and
Michael Kors purse.”
My
hands are shaking. It’s too much. It’s all too much. I need a pill. I need all
the pills. I need to get the hell out of here. My eyes dart around, trying to
come up with a strategy beyond sprinting from the table.
He
sits, looking smug. “So I have devised a plan to help you find your way, the
hard way.”
Geoff
squeezes my arm. He’s trying to tell me to stop panicking but I can’t.
My
dad lifts his glass to his lips and grins. His eyes twinkle in a sinister way.
“You aren’t just getting the internship at Webber Records. If it were up to me
I wouldn’t let you take the trash out, but your mother would never forgive me
for abandoning you. So I am giving you one chance to turn this all around. No
more drugs and alcohol and random one-night stands. The buck stops in
September, Lana. And if by then you haven’t proven yourself a worthy human
being, who can contribute to society, I am disinheriting you and you will be
homeless and carless. As far as I understand it, you’re already friendless.”
I
think I’m going to throw up.
He
finishes his drink and nods. “I am hosting a live show called The Next Mogul.
It’s a competition amongst business undergraduates who plan on getting an MBA
and are trying to come up in the business between LA, New York, and Nashville.
The applicant for the intern spot who comes up with the best band, singer, boy
group, whatever, wins. America will vote and whoever wins first place wins the
internship. If you don’t win, you don’t get it. Second place is an internship
in Nashville and third place is a cash prize. If you win one of those three,
you might be okay. If not, you’re on your own, and I won’t lose a single
night’s sleep over it. Because I have done my part. I have been a loving father
and I have supported you in everything. Even when you abandoned your dreams.
Our dreams. Your mother’s dreams for you.” His voice cracks and so does my
heart. “I have been the king of yes and it’s gotten you nowhere. You are the
very thing I despise about rich, spoilt young ladies.” The twinkle in his eyes
has grown to something emotional.
Is
it smug?
I
don’t know but I have the worst feeling he wants me to fail so he
it was too much, I see that now. No amount of giving will ever make you a good
person. I can’t make you want to be a good person. That’s your call.”
My
insides wrench.
He
gets up, pacing and drinking his scotch. “I have done everything I can for you
and now it’s time to make you tow the line. I’m cutting you off. Your schooling
is almost over and I don’t think you’re ready for the obligation of the job I wanted
so badly for you to have.” His face turns, and replacing his angry dad look,
comes something of disgust and abandonment. “I’m done with you, Lana. I’m done
pretending that one day you’re going to grow up and be an adult. You’re
twenty-two years old for Christ’s sake. Twenty-two, not eighteen and making a
couple of bad decisions.” He drinks, making a long silence. My heart is racing,
pounding in my throat. The wine I stole from Geoff is threatening to come back
up.
My
dad leans against the chair and points at me. “The first year when you slept
with your professor and I had to stop his wife from going public, I assumed it
was because you were eighteen, not a slut. I didn’t actually know you were a
slut. I didn’t know the papers and rag magazines were right about you, because
you were my baby, and I wanted to believe that your failures in the past and
your mother’s death led you to rebel. I always believed you would find your way
back to me. But now I see no amount of money spent on a perfect childhood and a
perfect education will make you be perfect. You’re never going to be that. So I
can do one of two things. I can wash my hands of you like my father did my
youngest brother, or I can force you to work for your next cocaine fix and
Michael Kors purse.”
My
hands are shaking. It’s too much. It’s all too much. I need a pill. I need all
the pills. I need to get the hell out of here. My eyes dart around, trying to
come up with a strategy beyond sprinting from the table.
He
sits, looking smug. “So I have devised a plan to help you find your way, the
hard way.”
Geoff
squeezes my arm. He’s trying to tell me to stop panicking but I can’t.
My
dad lifts his glass to his lips and grins. His eyes twinkle in a sinister way.
“You aren’t just getting the internship at Webber Records. If it were up to me
I wouldn’t let you take the trash out, but your mother would never forgive me
for abandoning you. So I am giving you one chance to turn this all around. No
more drugs and alcohol and random one-night stands. The buck stops in
September, Lana. And if by then you haven’t proven yourself a worthy human
being, who can contribute to society, I am disinheriting you and you will be
homeless and carless. As far as I understand it, you’re already friendless.”
I
think I’m going to throw up.
He
finishes his drink and nods. “I am hosting a live show called The Next Mogul.
It’s a competition amongst business undergraduates who plan on getting an MBA
and are trying to come up in the business between LA, New York, and Nashville.
The applicant for the intern spot who comes up with the best band, singer, boy
group, whatever, wins. America will vote and whoever wins first place wins the
internship. If you don’t win, you don’t get it. Second place is an internship
in Nashville and third place is a cash prize. If you win one of those three,
you might be okay. If not, you’re on your own, and I won’t lose a single
night’s sleep over it. Because I have done my part. I have been a loving father
and I have supported you in everything. Even when you abandoned your dreams.
Our dreams. Your mother’s dreams for you.” His voice cracks and so does my
heart. “I have been the king of yes and it’s gotten you nowhere. You are the
very thing I despise about rich, spoilt young ladies.” The twinkle in his eyes
has grown to something emotional.
Is
it smug?
I
don’t know but I have the worst feeling he wants me to fail so he
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