Fucker, I’m doing it for her, okay? She’s Alexis, and I need her just about as bad as she needs a friend. Shut the fuck up and take a few days off. I’ll call you in the morning.” I hit end harder than I probably had to, but he pissed me off.
I’m fuming at Gabe’s comment and insinuation that I shouldn’t be helping Al, but the moment I see them wheeling her to the doors all anger melts away. She looks so small and frail. She’s always been pretty fit, but ever since she got in the accident and has been in the hospital she hasn’t been eating well. She’s lost probably ten pounds just from lack of nutrition. I know she’s eating, but she’s eating bare minimum just to keep the nurses happy. I just hope that living here with her parents and far away from everything she’s grown to know and love is going to make her whole again.
I know I could do it if she’d give me the chance, but I’m going along with this because she’s dead set on not depending on me. For some reason, she seems to think that I wouldn’t like having her live with me. She’s fucking wrong, she has never been more wrong, but I can’t tell her that. She just needs to see that I’m not planning on giving up. She needs me, she knows it, she’s just stubborn.
Half way through the drive she sighs and lays her head back, closing her eyes. When she speaks, it sounds like she’s in a whole different world.
“You remember that time the three of us went to the coast at sunset? And the beach we were on closed at sunset, and the patrol chased us down and threatened to call our parents?” She smiles, eyes still closed probably recalling that night. She’s smiling, her hair resting on the top of her head and her glasses she only wears when her contacts are bothering her, resting gently on her cute as fuck nose.
Jesus I feel like I’m letting her go today. I feel like this is it, but I’ll play her game. Bringing back memories of him… of the three of us… before life took away everything we knew and loved… it hurts. It hurts, it sucks, but she’s talking. I want to keep her talking.
I have to.
“Yea.” I chuckle, recalling the look on her face when they threatened taking us into the station. Lane and I knew the guys, we knew they were just messing with us, but they caught on immediately and played on to her horror. “You were so damn scared,” I say laughing. I nudge her side when she doesn’t laugh, when her hand clasps on to mine I glance over at her and notice she’s not smiling. Instead, there’s a tear running down her cheek, I curse to myself. Maybe this move will be good for her. Maybe getting away from the memories for a while will help her cope and accept things better. God, I don’t know, but seeing her hurt from what once was a happy memory is heart shattering.
“We’re never going to have times like that again, Bray.” She takes a deep breath and runs her fingertips under her puffy eyes, drying the spilled tears. “I want to get over it… I want to stop crying… but then I think about times like that I get so sad. Sad that I’m never going to have that type of happy again.”
“You’re not dea-” I stop myself, realizing what I’m about to say and notice her hand tighten around mine.
“I know. I’m not dead. You can say it, it’s not a lie. I’m alive, and I’m having to learn to cope with… with all of this.” She motions to her leg and rests her hand on her knee, right above where they had to cut her out of the car. “I can’t do that in LA, with all the memories we had there. I can’t do that with the knowing stares, the fake sympathy from people that barely knew us. I’m sorry. Maybe someday I’ll be able to move back, but right now I need to find myself and I can’t do that there.”
And that’s just it. I don’t want her to go, but I’m not the selfish prick that most chicks in the area put me off to be. I don’t want her to be sad, for her I’m not fighting this move.
I’m fuming at Gabe’s comment and insinuation that I shouldn’t be helping Al, but the moment I see them wheeling her to the doors all anger melts away. She looks so small and frail. She’s always been pretty fit, but ever since she got in the accident and has been in the hospital she hasn’t been eating well. She’s lost probably ten pounds just from lack of nutrition. I know she’s eating, but she’s eating bare minimum just to keep the nurses happy. I just hope that living here with her parents and far away from everything she’s grown to know and love is going to make her whole again.
I know I could do it if she’d give me the chance, but I’m going along with this because she’s dead set on not depending on me. For some reason, she seems to think that I wouldn’t like having her live with me. She’s fucking wrong, she has never been more wrong, but I can’t tell her that. She just needs to see that I’m not planning on giving up. She needs me, she knows it, she’s just stubborn.
Half way through the drive she sighs and lays her head back, closing her eyes. When she speaks, it sounds like she’s in a whole different world.
“You remember that time the three of us went to the coast at sunset? And the beach we were on closed at sunset, and the patrol chased us down and threatened to call our parents?” She smiles, eyes still closed probably recalling that night. She’s smiling, her hair resting on the top of her head and her glasses she only wears when her contacts are bothering her, resting gently on her cute as fuck nose.
Jesus I feel like I’m letting her go today. I feel like this is it, but I’ll play her game. Bringing back memories of him… of the three of us… before life took away everything we knew and loved… it hurts. It hurts, it sucks, but she’s talking. I want to keep her talking.
I have to.
“Yea.” I chuckle, recalling the look on her face when they threatened taking us into the station. Lane and I knew the guys, we knew they were just messing with us, but they caught on immediately and played on to her horror. “You were so damn scared,” I say laughing. I nudge her side when she doesn’t laugh, when her hand clasps on to mine I glance over at her and notice she’s not smiling. Instead, there’s a tear running down her cheek, I curse to myself. Maybe this move will be good for her. Maybe getting away from the memories for a while will help her cope and accept things better. God, I don’t know, but seeing her hurt from what once was a happy memory is heart shattering.
“We’re never going to have times like that again, Bray.” She takes a deep breath and runs her fingertips under her puffy eyes, drying the spilled tears. “I want to get over it… I want to stop crying… but then I think about times like that I get so sad. Sad that I’m never going to have that type of happy again.”
“You’re not dea-” I stop myself, realizing what I’m about to say and notice her hand tighten around mine.
“I know. I’m not dead. You can say it, it’s not a lie. I’m alive, and I’m having to learn to cope with… with all of this.” She motions to her leg and rests her hand on her knee, right above where they had to cut her out of the car. “I can’t do that in LA, with all the memories we had there. I can’t do that with the knowing stares, the fake sympathy from people that barely knew us. I’m sorry. Maybe someday I’ll be able to move back, but right now I need to find myself and I can’t do that there.”
And that’s just it. I don’t want her to go, but I’m not the selfish prick that most chicks in the area put me off to be. I don’t want her to be sad, for her I’m not fighting this move.
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