I’m going to run out of here or something.
“It’s fine, Bray. We’re all just… muddled… lately. It’s ok. Please don’t apologize. It was nice.” My eyes catch his, everything around us seems to stop. He’s hurting so bad right now, he doesn’t know how to fix it. Neither do I.
“Yea,” he mumbles. “Muddled.” Shaking his head, he turns on the TV and sits in the chair, scooting close enough to the bed so he can hear through the remote.
About an hour into the movie he moves to the bed, complaining of the uncomfortable chair. A half hour after that his arm goes around me. He’s so warm… so full. So complete. He’s a pillar of strength when I feel like I could crumble.
He’s everything I want, but nothing I need.
“When are you planning on getting the rest of your things from LA?” He whispers, his hand absentmindedly playing with my hair. I sigh, because I’d rather not have to think about that right now, but I guess it’s never going to get easier to think about. I’m never going to get over the loss, it’s never going to stop hurting… I just have to learn how to live with it.
“I’m not sure. Maybe next week. Maybe this weekend. I have enough clothes to last a few days before I have to do laundry, and I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon, not until I can move around easier, so there’s no need for me to have a huge wardrobe right now.”
“I want to help you when you do it.”
“I know,” I sigh. “I’ll need it.”
He gently places a kiss on the top of my head, making a small smile come to my lips, then wraps his arms around me a little tighter than before as we both stare at the TV, neither of us paying any attention to what’s playing. That’s the last thing I remember until waking up in the morning to an empty bed, sun shining in through the open blinds.
Braydon
I feel like such a dick. I shouldn’t have done that earlier, but sitting here in bed with her now, her gentle snores on my shoulder, make me realize what I did wasn’t all that bad. No, I can’t have her, but that doesn’t mean that kissing her was wrong. She’s just so damn beautiful, ever since the accident her light has been out. I need to bring that back, maybe I thought kissing her would bring it back.
And it did. Only for a moment, but it did.
Waiting on her discharge paperwork, I head downstairs to call the bar.
“Been long enough, man,” Gabe chuckles after I fill him in on last night. I feel like a damn teenage chick with all these emotions, but I can’t help it. I’ve never had anything this complex running through my mind, I don’t know what to do with it. Typically Gabe’s good with shit like this, but today he can’t stop laughing at me. “Dude you’ve wanted her forever. It’s not like Sheridan’s coming back to haunt you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you; it’s not like she hasn’t had those thoughts in her mind as well.” He chuckles again, making me want to reach through the phone and choke the noise out of him.
Jerk.
“Yea, anyway… that shit isn’t happening. I’m taking the day to drive her to Santa Barbara. I won’t be in tonight, but I’ll open in the morning for ya. Take a couple days off dude, I’ll have nothing else to do but sit at that lonely place.” I sigh, knowing full well how boring life is going to be without her here.
“Santa Barbara?!”
“Yes, dude. Fucking two hours away and I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“The fuck is there that she can’t get here?”
“Her parents,” I grumble, smiling as they park the car in front of the entrance for her. “I gotta go man.”
“Hey wait!” I stop short, letting him get his last word in. “You plan on doing this, Bray? You’re serious about all this?”
“About what?” I growl, not liking the tone of his voice.
“Helping out. Being there for her. Two hours one way is a long ass drive just to hang out with a friend,” he scoffs.
“I’m not just… she’s not…
“It’s fine, Bray. We’re all just… muddled… lately. It’s ok. Please don’t apologize. It was nice.” My eyes catch his, everything around us seems to stop. He’s hurting so bad right now, he doesn’t know how to fix it. Neither do I.
“Yea,” he mumbles. “Muddled.” Shaking his head, he turns on the TV and sits in the chair, scooting close enough to the bed so he can hear through the remote.
About an hour into the movie he moves to the bed, complaining of the uncomfortable chair. A half hour after that his arm goes around me. He’s so warm… so full. So complete. He’s a pillar of strength when I feel like I could crumble.
He’s everything I want, but nothing I need.
“When are you planning on getting the rest of your things from LA?” He whispers, his hand absentmindedly playing with my hair. I sigh, because I’d rather not have to think about that right now, but I guess it’s never going to get easier to think about. I’m never going to get over the loss, it’s never going to stop hurting… I just have to learn how to live with it.
“I’m not sure. Maybe next week. Maybe this weekend. I have enough clothes to last a few days before I have to do laundry, and I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon, not until I can move around easier, so there’s no need for me to have a huge wardrobe right now.”
“I want to help you when you do it.”
“I know,” I sigh. “I’ll need it.”
He gently places a kiss on the top of my head, making a small smile come to my lips, then wraps his arms around me a little tighter than before as we both stare at the TV, neither of us paying any attention to what’s playing. That’s the last thing I remember until waking up in the morning to an empty bed, sun shining in through the open blinds.
Braydon
I feel like such a dick. I shouldn’t have done that earlier, but sitting here in bed with her now, her gentle snores on my shoulder, make me realize what I did wasn’t all that bad. No, I can’t have her, but that doesn’t mean that kissing her was wrong. She’s just so damn beautiful, ever since the accident her light has been out. I need to bring that back, maybe I thought kissing her would bring it back.
And it did. Only for a moment, but it did.
Waiting on her discharge paperwork, I head downstairs to call the bar.
“Been long enough, man,” Gabe chuckles after I fill him in on last night. I feel like a damn teenage chick with all these emotions, but I can’t help it. I’ve never had anything this complex running through my mind, I don’t know what to do with it. Typically Gabe’s good with shit like this, but today he can’t stop laughing at me. “Dude you’ve wanted her forever. It’s not like Sheridan’s coming back to haunt you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you; it’s not like she hasn’t had those thoughts in her mind as well.” He chuckles again, making me want to reach through the phone and choke the noise out of him.
Jerk.
“Yea, anyway… that shit isn’t happening. I’m taking the day to drive her to Santa Barbara. I won’t be in tonight, but I’ll open in the morning for ya. Take a couple days off dude, I’ll have nothing else to do but sit at that lonely place.” I sigh, knowing full well how boring life is going to be without her here.
“Santa Barbara?!”
“Yes, dude. Fucking two hours away and I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“The fuck is there that she can’t get here?”
“Her parents,” I grumble, smiling as they park the car in front of the entrance for her. “I gotta go man.”
“Hey wait!” I stop short, letting him get his last word in. “You plan on doing this, Bray? You’re serious about all this?”
“About what?” I growl, not liking the tone of his voice.
“Helping out. Being there for her. Two hours one way is a long ass drive just to hang out with a friend,” he scoffs.
“I’m not just… she’s not…
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