Glaswegian barman neighbour. A peck on the cheek and an ‘alright Trixie?’ was as much as I got.
He sat in the back of the car with his head bowed low, his knees wide and his two thumbs a blur working across the screen. I could imagine how much fun this was going to be for me: silently watching Steven stab at his phone all weekend. I didn’t want to get on at him in front of Gerry so I asked cheerfully, ‘Are you still playing Grand Theft Auto?’
He screwed his face up. ‘What? I’m not playing a game. Leave me alone. Mind your own.’
Unjustly chastised, I left him alone. I minded my own. I didn’t speak again the whole way to Harrosie, nobody did. The only sound in the car was the imaginary noise of hot steam being forced out of my ears. How dare he speak to me like that. If he wasn’t playing a game he must be texting, which showed how little interest he had in spending time with me.
I didn’t normally wait up for them but I felt something wasn’t right. When 3 am came and went, I knew it. Even the Caledonian Hotel’s lock-ins didn’t go on this late. They were probably at a party somewhere in the village, ‘an Empty Hoose’, that was to say a hoose empty of parents but paradoxically full of drunk sex-crazed teenagers. I really hoped that’s where they were.
I heard a diesel engine climb the hill out of Inverfaughie and stop outside, the van’s engine ticking as I rushed to the front door. It was Jackie, he had him, he had Steven in a fireman’s lift, slung over his shoulder, slack as a sack of turnips. I rushed forward and threw my arms around Steven as he lay slumped on Jackie’s chest and immediately felt the wetness. I jumped back to stare at my hands.
‘What is that? Oh God! What is it?’
‘Stop panicking woman, it’s only water,’ said Jackie, the first words he had spoken to me in weeks.
He strode past me into the lounge and laid down my precious son. The care he took with him, placing his head gently on thecushion, made me realise how precious he must be to Jackie too. Steven was pale but he was breathing, his eyes were closed but he wasn’t unconscious. When I stroked his face he moaned and curled into a ball.
‘There’s nothing wrong with him,’ Jackie said gently. ‘He fell asleep in the van.’
It might have been relief that Steven was safe but I felt a gush of warmth towards Jackie. The memory of him lying on that very same couch a few weeks ago, half asleep like Steven was now, reminded me of how I’d felt about him then. When I remembered how I’d tried to kiss Jackie, and how he’d reacted, I felt another gush, this time of black mortifying shame.
Steven stirred.
‘See?’ said Jackie, ‘he’s fine. He’ll have a hangover in the morning but nothing a sick bucket and a couple of paracetamol won’t fix.’
I turned and looked at Gerry.
‘Would you like to tell me what the hell happened tonight?’
Gerry remained mute, standing behind Jackie, trying to look invisible. His clothes were soaked too, and he was dripping on my new rug.
‘I’m sworn to secrecy but you might as well tell her,’ Jackie said to Gerry.
‘Yes, please do, Gerry.’
‘She’ll only keep going till she twists it out of you.’
With both of us badgering him, Gerry looked as if he might cry.
I hadn’t seen Jackie for ages; he always scurried away if he saw me in the distance. We hadn’t been on speaking terms since before the ceilidh, but now here we were working together; playing good cop/bad cop with Gerry.
‘But I have to warn you,’ Jackie continued, ‘Trixie’s not much good at keeping secrets. She has the terrible affliction of blabbing other people’s business to the whole town.’
No, my mistake, we weren’t working together. Jackie was using the occasion to have a go at me.
My rage was swift and overwhelming. I turned and pushed my snarling face into his.
‘Oh for god’s sake get over yourself!’ I roared.
Jackie backed out of the room and as I followed I
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