Read Online Five Ways to Fall by K. A. Tucker - Free Book Online Page B

only saving grace is that I’m too busy trying to block out my embarrassing memories to be in any danger of tripping over myself like half the women seemed to be doing today. It was pathetic. Even Natasha seemed more bubbly than normal. And the dimpled smiles he flashed each one of them tells me he loved every second of the fawning.
    The first forkful of pie is sliding into my mouth when my phone comes alive with the sound of minions singing the banana song.
    “Happy Monday,” I mutter into the phone.
    “I hate numbers.”
    “It’s a good thing you won’t be dealing with them on a daily basis for the next forty years, then.” Lina finished her undergrad degree last spring and passed her CPA exam with flying colors. Now she’s working at a small accounting firm down the street to collect a year of experience before she can apply for her license.
    “What are you doing?” she asks.
    “Hiding from karma at Bayside.”
    “Don’t drink the coffee,” she warns.
    “Too late,” I mutter, swirling the last bit of the toxic substance in my mug. Every time I come here, I order a cup to go with my chocolate pecan pie. It’s habit, I guess. There’s no other explanation. The coffee is weak, it has a salty aftertaste, and there’s always a weird film at the bottom of the cup. No one with taste buds would like this crap.
    With a heavy sigh, I divulge the horror of my day.
    “So Mason is friends with your botched exorcism,” she states flatly. I can always count on Lina to lay it out like it is. No beating around the bush. No softening the blow. “What did the guy say to you?”
    “That I owe him a new shirt.”
    She snorts. “Well, he’s got you there.”
    “Thanks.”
    “Maybe I’ll take a break and swing by. We can mock people together,” Lina offers. Another plus to this job: having my best friend only four blocks away from me.
    “Don’t bother. I’ve been here for two hours. I actually have to go back to the office. The law bot dumped three new cases on my desk today.”
    “Fine. Do you want to come over for dinner sometime this week? Nicki’s cooking.”
    “Does it involve turkey bacon?”
    “All unconventional meats have been banned.” Since Lina owns the small two-bedroom-plus-den condo that they moved into, she is well within her power to stop Nicki from inflicting others with her strange dietary preferences.
    “Then I’m in.”
    “Okay, good.” There’s a pause, and then Lina sighs. “Look, there’s something I need to tell you.”
    “Well, this doesn’t sound promising.” I shove a large piece of pie in my mouth.
    “It all depends on whether you want your best friend, the one who sticks up for you, has lied to the police for you, has gone along with all of your harebrained ideas, to be happy.”
    “You’ve never lied to the police for me.”
    “Senior year. The bottle of vodka in the trunk when we got pulled over.”
    “Fine. One time,” I heave with exasperation. “What has that earned you today?”
    “Well, I’ve started seeing someone that you may not . . .”
    Lina’s voice blurs as I watch a ginger-haired woman flounce through the patio, her purse swinging on her arm, as happy as any home-wrecking husband thief could possibly be.
    “Oh my God!” Chunks of piecrust get sucked down my throat with my gasp, stirring up a cough that I struggle to suppress. “It’s her!” I hiss.
    “Her who?”
    I struggle to swallow as I watch my ex-husband’s new wife sit three tables over with what I assume is a friend.
    “ Her! ” I hiss even more sharply, dipping my head so I’m not so obviously staring at her.
    There’s only one “her” that I could be talking about with such venom in my voice, and Lina catches on quickly. “What? Here in Miami?”
    “No. In hell ! Because that’s where I obviously am today!” First Ben, now Caroline?
    “Has she recognized you yet?”
    “No, but she hasn’t looked this way.” Without my purple hair and piercings and in