Read Online First Rapture (The Rapture Series) by Alexandra Ivy - Free Book Online
Authors: Alexandra Ivy
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relationship. Unfortunately, there had been more than one man who should have been perfect for her.
“Actually I liked several,” she grudgingly admitted. “A few I even dated for several months.”
He was close enough behind her that she could feel him tense, almost as if he didn’t like her talking about other men.
Which was stupid considering he was the one who’d forced this unpleasant conversation.
“Why didn’t the relationships last?” he asked.
“Because I couldn’t—” The words stuck in her throat.
“What?”
“Orgasm,” she at last spit out, unable to resist watching his reaction in the reflection of the window. “Are you happy?”
Shock rippled over his fiercely beautiful face, swiftly followed by a frown of disbelief.
“Why would I be happy?”
She hunched her shoulder, feeling raw and exposed now that the truth was out. “You’ve obviously spoiled me for other men.”
She expected smug contentment. Didn’t most men long to think that they were such fantastic studs that no other man could satisfy their previous lovers?
Instead, Luc appeared troubled. Grabbing her shoulders, he turned her to meet his searching gaze.
“Because I walked out?” he demanded, his voice thick with regret. “Are you afraid the men will hurt you?”
It would be so easy to say yes. To let him think that he’d destroyed her life by leaving her that night. She sensed that far from being proud at her inability to find pleasure with another man, it would truly torture him to believe he’d caused such damage.
But he was right.
She’d never been deliberately cruel.
“I don’t know.” She gave a helpless shake of her head. “I can date a guy, enjoy his company, and even be aroused when we go to bed, but then…” She sucked in a deep breath. “Then suddenly my mind is filled with images of you touching and kissing me and the moment is lost.”
He took a second to analyze her words before his fingers tightened on her arms, his eyes narrowing.
“And because I happened to pop up in your sexual fantasies, you returned to Vegas to sleep with me again?” he rasped. “Is that supposed to make sense?”
She licked her dry lips, her breath catching as his gaze was dragged downward to watch the unconsciously provocative movement.
“I thought…” She grimaced. It was going to sound stupid no matter how she said it. “I hoped that once I’d slept with you and walked away I would feel…empowered.”
His brows arched. “Empowered?”
Yep. It sounded stupid.
She clicked her tongue with impatience. “It was supposed to be an exorcism that would get you out of my head for good.”
The dark eyes flared with a sudden fury. “Of all the asinine—” He bit off his angry words, sucking in a deep breath. “Did you ever consider the fact that your inability to enjoy intimacy with a man has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you?”
She pulled out of his grip, her chin tilting to a defiant angle.
“What are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything. I’m saying that there are two obvious explanations.”
She met his smoldering gaze without flinching. Maybe she’d been an idiot to return to Vegas, but she’d be damned if she let Luc intimidate her.
“Fine.” She folded her arms over her stomach, wishing to hell he’d put some clothes on. “Let’s hear your brilliant psychoanalysis.”
A portion of his anger seemed to ease at her taunting tone, his hand reaching to cup her chin. Did he sense her defensive vulnerability?
“It’s possible that you used the memory of me as a subconscious method of keeping other men at a distance,” he said, holding her derisive gaze. “Making me the bad guy was easier than admitting that you couldn’t open yourself up enough to reach your climax.”
“So why would I be able to—”
“Orgasm with me?” He finished her sentence, his lips twitching with a wry amusement at the heat that stained her cheeks.
She scowled.
“Actually I liked several,” she grudgingly admitted. “A few I even dated for several months.”
He was close enough behind her that she could feel him tense, almost as if he didn’t like her talking about other men.
Which was stupid considering he was the one who’d forced this unpleasant conversation.
“Why didn’t the relationships last?” he asked.
“Because I couldn’t—” The words stuck in her throat.
“What?”
“Orgasm,” she at last spit out, unable to resist watching his reaction in the reflection of the window. “Are you happy?”
Shock rippled over his fiercely beautiful face, swiftly followed by a frown of disbelief.
“Why would I be happy?”
She hunched her shoulder, feeling raw and exposed now that the truth was out. “You’ve obviously spoiled me for other men.”
She expected smug contentment. Didn’t most men long to think that they were such fantastic studs that no other man could satisfy their previous lovers?
Instead, Luc appeared troubled. Grabbing her shoulders, he turned her to meet his searching gaze.
“Because I walked out?” he demanded, his voice thick with regret. “Are you afraid the men will hurt you?”
It would be so easy to say yes. To let him think that he’d destroyed her life by leaving her that night. She sensed that far from being proud at her inability to find pleasure with another man, it would truly torture him to believe he’d caused such damage.
But he was right.
She’d never been deliberately cruel.
“I don’t know.” She gave a helpless shake of her head. “I can date a guy, enjoy his company, and even be aroused when we go to bed, but then…” She sucked in a deep breath. “Then suddenly my mind is filled with images of you touching and kissing me and the moment is lost.”
He took a second to analyze her words before his fingers tightened on her arms, his eyes narrowing.
“And because I happened to pop up in your sexual fantasies, you returned to Vegas to sleep with me again?” he rasped. “Is that supposed to make sense?”
She licked her dry lips, her breath catching as his gaze was dragged downward to watch the unconsciously provocative movement.
“I thought…” She grimaced. It was going to sound stupid no matter how she said it. “I hoped that once I’d slept with you and walked away I would feel…empowered.”
His brows arched. “Empowered?”
Yep. It sounded stupid.
She clicked her tongue with impatience. “It was supposed to be an exorcism that would get you out of my head for good.”
The dark eyes flared with a sudden fury. “Of all the asinine—” He bit off his angry words, sucking in a deep breath. “Did you ever consider the fact that your inability to enjoy intimacy with a man has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you?”
She pulled out of his grip, her chin tilting to a defiant angle.
“What are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything. I’m saying that there are two obvious explanations.”
She met his smoldering gaze without flinching. Maybe she’d been an idiot to return to Vegas, but she’d be damned if she let Luc intimidate her.
“Fine.” She folded her arms over her stomach, wishing to hell he’d put some clothes on. “Let’s hear your brilliant psychoanalysis.”
A portion of his anger seemed to ease at her taunting tone, his hand reaching to cup her chin. Did he sense her defensive vulnerability?
“It’s possible that you used the memory of me as a subconscious method of keeping other men at a distance,” he said, holding her derisive gaze. “Making me the bad guy was easier than admitting that you couldn’t open yourself up enough to reach your climax.”
“So why would I be able to—”
“Orgasm with me?” He finished her sentence, his lips twitching with a wry amusement at the heat that stained her cheeks.
She scowled.