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Authors: George McCartney
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employer was now resplendent in new Kurt Geiger brogues and a pair of Ted Baker slacks, which complemented a tailored open-neck shirt by Ralph Lauren and a dark blue Tommy Hilfiger, single-breasted blazer. He was also self-consciously holding a clutch of brightly coloured carrier bags containing additional supplies of shirts, trousers and shoes. Anxiously scrutinising a lengthy till receipt as he struggled to check that the addition was correct, he spluttered, ‘Fucking hell, Annie. Did you see what all this came to?’
‘You’ve got to speculate to accumulate, boss,’ she replied. ‘These new clothes you’ve just bought are actually an investment, and you might be able to offset some of the cost against tax.’
‘But Jesus, seven hundred and fifty-nine quid …’
‘Look, I saved you almost a hundred pounds on the deal. So just build a bridge and get over it, okay? The makeover’s all done, so check out your reflection in the store window. I’d say you’re looking pretty good. Well, for a man of your age and physical condition. Go on have a twirl.’
Grudgingly, Jack had to agree. ‘Well I maybe do look a little bit better, fair enough. But what about all of my old stuff? There’s years of good wear in it yet.’
Annie snorted and replied, ‘Look, if it was up to me, all your old kit would be going straight into the nearest skip. But if you insist on keeping it, you have to promise never to wear it again to work, unless you’re going undercover down at the night shelter.’
‘But …’
Brooking no further protest, Annie insisted, ‘Stop right there. That’s it , no more buts. For the avoidance of doubt, boss, potential new clients expect you to be well-groomed and smartly dressed, because image is everything nowadays. If you look successful, that gives them the extra confidence that they’ve picked the right man. That’s just the way it is. Trust me, you have to look the part. You didn’t before, but now you do. Job done. End of.’
Chapter 11
Back at the office Jack took a phone call from the out of pocket insurance company, with an update on Frankie, the footballing fraudster. He briefed Annie afterwards, ‘That was my contact at First Mutual Insurance. They’ve had another phone call about Frankie boy. He’s been spotted again playing five-a-side out at the Greenbank Sports Centre, on the south side of the city. Apparently he was in a quite a violent altercation during the game. The other guy involved thought he recognised him from a roof job Frankie had worked on at his mum’s house. So he was only too pleased to shop him in exchange for a reward, if his information checks out.’
A relieved Annie began a new Google search on her MacBook, for details of the Greenbank Sports Centre, and then announced, ‘So that makes things much easier. We can find out when his team is due to play their next game and then be ready at the sports centre waiting for him.’
As Jack started to make himself a toasted sandwich, Annie popped a can of high energy fizz, took a gulp and asked, ‘You never told me how you lost your driving licence.’
‘Well, long story short, I drank and drove, then drank a bit more and got caught. You know, the usual boring story.’
Never one to settle for less than the full details about anything, Annie replied, ‘Yeah, I get that bit. I’m just curious about the actual circumstances.’
Jack sighed before replying, ‘Okay, to be perfectly honest, it could have happened anytime in the last thirty years.’
‘But I mean, whydo it at all? It’s completely stupid.’
‘Of course it’s stupid. But the thing is I was pretty good at it and, although I never drove when I thought I was drunk, my limit was quite a bit higher than the legal one. Anyway, the night when I got caught, I wasn’t actually driving at the time, which is quite funny. I was just sitting in my car, on a stakeout job watching a house in a quiet residential side street, and the bum I was waiting to come out
‘You’ve got to speculate to accumulate, boss,’ she replied. ‘These new clothes you’ve just bought are actually an investment, and you might be able to offset some of the cost against tax.’
‘But Jesus, seven hundred and fifty-nine quid …’
‘Look, I saved you almost a hundred pounds on the deal. So just build a bridge and get over it, okay? The makeover’s all done, so check out your reflection in the store window. I’d say you’re looking pretty good. Well, for a man of your age and physical condition. Go on have a twirl.’
Grudgingly, Jack had to agree. ‘Well I maybe do look a little bit better, fair enough. But what about all of my old stuff? There’s years of good wear in it yet.’
Annie snorted and replied, ‘Look, if it was up to me, all your old kit would be going straight into the nearest skip. But if you insist on keeping it, you have to promise never to wear it again to work, unless you’re going undercover down at the night shelter.’
‘But …’
Brooking no further protest, Annie insisted, ‘Stop right there. That’s it , no more buts. For the avoidance of doubt, boss, potential new clients expect you to be well-groomed and smartly dressed, because image is everything nowadays. If you look successful, that gives them the extra confidence that they’ve picked the right man. That’s just the way it is. Trust me, you have to look the part. You didn’t before, but now you do. Job done. End of.’
Chapter 11
Back at the office Jack took a phone call from the out of pocket insurance company, with an update on Frankie, the footballing fraudster. He briefed Annie afterwards, ‘That was my contact at First Mutual Insurance. They’ve had another phone call about Frankie boy. He’s been spotted again playing five-a-side out at the Greenbank Sports Centre, on the south side of the city. Apparently he was in a quite a violent altercation during the game. The other guy involved thought he recognised him from a roof job Frankie had worked on at his mum’s house. So he was only too pleased to shop him in exchange for a reward, if his information checks out.’
A relieved Annie began a new Google search on her MacBook, for details of the Greenbank Sports Centre, and then announced, ‘So that makes things much easier. We can find out when his team is due to play their next game and then be ready at the sports centre waiting for him.’
As Jack started to make himself a toasted sandwich, Annie popped a can of high energy fizz, took a gulp and asked, ‘You never told me how you lost your driving licence.’
‘Well, long story short, I drank and drove, then drank a bit more and got caught. You know, the usual boring story.’
Never one to settle for less than the full details about anything, Annie replied, ‘Yeah, I get that bit. I’m just curious about the actual circumstances.’
Jack sighed before replying, ‘Okay, to be perfectly honest, it could have happened anytime in the last thirty years.’
‘But I mean, whydo it at all? It’s completely stupid.’
‘Of course it’s stupid. But the thing is I was pretty good at it and, although I never drove when I thought I was drunk, my limit was quite a bit higher than the legal one. Anyway, the night when I got caught, I wasn’t actually driving at the time, which is quite funny. I was just sitting in my car, on a stakeout job watching a house in a quiet residential side street, and the bum I was waiting to come out
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