Finding My Way

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Authors: Heidi McLaughlin
Tags: Romance, Literature & Fiction, Contemporary, Contemporary Fiction
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over, I can’t let go. I put my head in the valley of her breasts and listen to her heart tell me that she loves me and that she’s never going to leave.

Chapter 12
    N o one has ever asked me what I want to do with my life. It’s been planned. I never questioned anyone’s intentions and I never thought to add my own two cents, for whatever they’re worth. Now I’m sitting in this office, with these ridiculously ugly drapes, the smell of stale smoke and a legend quarterback sitting in a king-sized chair because he’s let himself go after he retired from the NFL. That is not going to be me.
    But I can’t say that because my father won’t shut up. He keeps talking like the NFL is the only option that I don’t need a college education because nothing is going to happen to me. How does he know that?
    The man behind the desk wants me to commit today and if Sterling has his way, I’ll be signing before I leave here. Except I can’t and I seem to be the only one who knows this. There are rules and regulations and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some overzealous legend ruin my eligibility status. I’ve read the rules. I’ve watched the films. I know what I’m allowed to do and what will get me in trouble.
    I look down at my pants and remember what I was doing in them when I last wore them; they were around my ankles, just a few nights ago. I can still see her sitting on top of me, working us into a heated frenzy. She looked beyond sexy riding me with her tiara on top of her head. My very own queen.
    “What do you think, Liam?”
    My head jerks up at the sound of my name. “I’m sorry, what?” I don’t dare to look over at Sterling. I can feel his scowl already glaring at me.
    “What do you think? Are you ready to become a Tiger?” Tigers, oh yes. It’s all coming back to me now. My legit attempt to avoid coming to Auburn failed miserably. Because here I sit while my dad discusses my future with his alma mater, not giving a shit about what I think.
    I told my dad no, that Auburn was not on my list. He didn’t listen and booked me for a visit anyway. It wasn’t until we landed did I realize what he had done. And what am I going to do, call my mother? No, I can’t do that and he knows it. So here I sit, zoning out of a conversation about my future because right now I just don’t care.
    “Liam?”
    I roll my eyes and sit up in the chair. I run my hands down my pants. “I’m not sure what I think,” I answer as I clear my throat. “I’m eighteen years old and all I’ve known is football and I feel pretty damn lucky to have my choice of colleges, but with that choice comes a lot of responsibility. I think before I put my name down or verbally commit to someplace I need to know the teammates. I need to know that they’re one hundred percent committed to winning just as I am. I’ve never lost and I know that’s unrealistic when I get to college, but I want to win. I want the Heisman and a BCS Championship and if Auburn and Tennessee can’t offer me that, but Ole Miss can, I’m taking my game to Ole Miss.” Sterling stiffens next to me and I know that a lashing is coming. Maybe he’ll grow a set and hit me so I can beat the shit out of him. Honestly, I’m surprised he hasn’t tried yet.
    The coach sits back in his chair and rubs his chin contemplating the fact that I just told him if he can’t guarantee me everything that I want, I’m not coming here. I’m not going to sign my life away for four years without meeting the team. Without having some type of workout with them. I know it can’t happen on campus, but I can definitely make time to meet them at the park for a little flag football.
    “You have a very vocal son, Sterling. I have to say, I’m shocked.”
    I bite the inside of my cheek and wait for whatever my dad has to say. He grunts and clears his throat.
    “The boy is foolish and doesn’t know what he wants.”
    I roll my eyes and keep my gaze on the orange carpet.
    “He’s

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