Read Online Finding Me (The Bad Boy Series) by S.K. Hartley - Free Book Online
Authors: S.K. Hartley
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to move into a sitting position again. But the pain that splintered my shoulder and head pushed me right back down again, everything ached.
"No, you need to stay in bed," Logan growled, his tone was rough and harsh. It was unexpected, and so were the butterflies that fluttered around in my stomach from it. His voice was my vice, my addiction. It could be smooth one minute, then rough and dark the next. This time was a combination of the voice he used when he was protecting me and the voice he used to sooth me.
"But I need to see her," I pleaded, my voice small and pitiful from the pain in my throat.
"Dammit, Neva, will you just do as you're told for once?" Logan growled; his voice became harsher and rougher with every word he spoke. "I can't keep protecting someone who doesn't want to be protected. I can't keep doing this, Neva. You need to learn how to protect yourself, I just can't do it. You're breaking every single piece of me. You need to find the girl inside you who isn't afraid, who isn't guilty, and who isn't racked with demons. You need to let go of the past, before you stay stuck in it forever."
"W... what?" His words hit me hard, like a god damn freight train. It was so left field that it came from the right. I didn’t see it coming and his words felt like tiny little needles penetrating my skin all at once, it was a painful ache. My body was covered in bruises from head to toe, I had blotches of bruises that covered three-quarters of my skin. But it was my heart that was most painful, my heart was bruised just from his words.
"You have no idea how many times I played this conversation out in my head. How many ways to do this, ways that would hurt you less. I never want to hurt you, baby. But hurting you is this only way of protecting you right now. I love you, Neva, and that’s why ... why I need to walk away. I'm so sorry, baby. Dammit, I'm so sorry."
No, no, no. This can't be happening. He can't leave me, I need him. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to speak, but the fear of what might actually pour from my mouth left me mute. He was leaving me, leaving me when I needed him most. I could feel the lump forming in my throat, contracting and releasing as I tried to swallow it down. I needed air, I needed Logan. I needed Logan like he was my air. Logan is my air.
"Please." I sobbed, the unshed tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
He didn't move, he just watched as I was about to crumble from the pain that was slicing through my chest. The only movement he made was when a single tear rolled down my cheek, his eyes watching as it slowly made its way down my skin before falling to my neck.
"I'm sorry," he muttered before turning swiftly on his heel and leaving the room.
Chapter Eight
Logan
I. Can't. Breathe.
It was the only thought that ran through my mind as I ran as far away from the hospital as I could, my lungs burning from the harsh inhale of air I took with every step.
Fuck.
I ran hard and fast, each pounding step I took only hurt my chest more. But I welcomed the pain, the burn. It was the only indication I had to tell me I had actually walked out of that hospital, leaving her behind. Leaving the one person who had been on my mind for the past ten years.
Every step I took was fucking torture. The image of Neva battered and bruised in the hospital bed broke me, but telling her I couldn't protect her anymore damn well shattered me. But then the memories seeped through, ones I swore I wouldn't think about again, ones that hurt like nothing I had ever felt.
I could feel her hair against my skin as if we right back in my bed, right back to the day when I finally told her how I felt. I could feel her lips against mine, hungry and bruising as she finally let go. The way her body curved in all of the right places, unlike nothing I had ever seen before. The way she whimpered against my mouth, the sound that could instantly bring me to my knees.
But then the memory of
"No, you need to stay in bed," Logan growled, his tone was rough and harsh. It was unexpected, and so were the butterflies that fluttered around in my stomach from it. His voice was my vice, my addiction. It could be smooth one minute, then rough and dark the next. This time was a combination of the voice he used when he was protecting me and the voice he used to sooth me.
"But I need to see her," I pleaded, my voice small and pitiful from the pain in my throat.
"Dammit, Neva, will you just do as you're told for once?" Logan growled; his voice became harsher and rougher with every word he spoke. "I can't keep protecting someone who doesn't want to be protected. I can't keep doing this, Neva. You need to learn how to protect yourself, I just can't do it. You're breaking every single piece of me. You need to find the girl inside you who isn't afraid, who isn't guilty, and who isn't racked with demons. You need to let go of the past, before you stay stuck in it forever."
"W... what?" His words hit me hard, like a god damn freight train. It was so left field that it came from the right. I didn’t see it coming and his words felt like tiny little needles penetrating my skin all at once, it was a painful ache. My body was covered in bruises from head to toe, I had blotches of bruises that covered three-quarters of my skin. But it was my heart that was most painful, my heart was bruised just from his words.
"You have no idea how many times I played this conversation out in my head. How many ways to do this, ways that would hurt you less. I never want to hurt you, baby. But hurting you is this only way of protecting you right now. I love you, Neva, and that’s why ... why I need to walk away. I'm so sorry, baby. Dammit, I'm so sorry."
No, no, no. This can't be happening. He can't leave me, I need him. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to speak, but the fear of what might actually pour from my mouth left me mute. He was leaving me, leaving me when I needed him most. I could feel the lump forming in my throat, contracting and releasing as I tried to swallow it down. I needed air, I needed Logan. I needed Logan like he was my air. Logan is my air.
"Please." I sobbed, the unshed tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
He didn't move, he just watched as I was about to crumble from the pain that was slicing through my chest. The only movement he made was when a single tear rolled down my cheek, his eyes watching as it slowly made its way down my skin before falling to my neck.
"I'm sorry," he muttered before turning swiftly on his heel and leaving the room.
Chapter Eight
Logan
I. Can't. Breathe.
It was the only thought that ran through my mind as I ran as far away from the hospital as I could, my lungs burning from the harsh inhale of air I took with every step.
Fuck.
I ran hard and fast, each pounding step I took only hurt my chest more. But I welcomed the pain, the burn. It was the only indication I had to tell me I had actually walked out of that hospital, leaving her behind. Leaving the one person who had been on my mind for the past ten years.
Every step I took was fucking torture. The image of Neva battered and bruised in the hospital bed broke me, but telling her I couldn't protect her anymore damn well shattered me. But then the memories seeped through, ones I swore I wouldn't think about again, ones that hurt like nothing I had ever felt.
I could feel her hair against my skin as if we right back in my bed, right back to the day when I finally told her how I felt. I could feel her lips against mine, hungry and bruising as she finally let go. The way her body curved in all of the right places, unlike nothing I had ever seen before. The way she whimpered against my mouth, the sound that could instantly bring me to my knees.
But then the memory of
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