braâ¦
S.H.A.R.I.
Chapter 13
DAY 3âMORNING
My phone rang at 7:00 a.m., shocking me out of a dream where I was some young actress who acted all crazy in public, and my breakdown was caught on tape by TMZ. It didnât feel so far off, except maybe the actress, the public, and the TMZ part.
It was Jasonâs number. When I didnât answer, he texted.
You donât get to be mad at me youâre the one who kept saying it was over.
The phone rang again. As I went to turn it off, I saw it wasnât Jason this time. It was my mom calling. I could really use my mom. Or at least the
idea
of what a mom should be. âMommy?â I started crying as I answered. Sometimes just saying âMommyâ makes you feel five again.
âHi, sweetie. Youâre not going to believe what happened.â
Then in true Narcie fashion, she proceeded to launch into a tirade, going so fast and high-pitched, it sounded like she was sucking on a helium balloon. I managed to make out the important points:
âYour brother Cooper was arrested.â
âFor selling pot.â
âI have no money to post bail.â
âHeâll have to spend the night in juvy.â
âTeach him a lesson.â
âHeâs ruining my life.â
WHAT?! Cooper selling pot? Fuck. If I had found a way to get him that $500.00 for whatever he needed it for, this wouldnât have happened. It was all my fault. I should find a way to go back to NYâeven if I was totally broke. Even if I risked being fired. Even if it meant not finishing the hunt and potentially finding my future husband and breaking the Newman Curse.
But I suddenly felt like the Half-Ton Teen on the Discovery Channel. So overwhelmingly heavy that I couldnât lift one limb.
âWhy would he do this to me?â my mother asked.
Like this was about her? Oh, Narcie, really?!?!
âI know I shouldnât dump this in your lap.â
Uh⦠you mean like you have with everything else since I was seven?
ââ¦I just donât know what to doâ¦â
âHow about calling Aunt Pam?â
Since she lives only a block away from you, OH, and sheâs AN ADULT WITH MONEY.
âGood idea.â
âLet me know when Cooperâs back home so I can talk to him.â
âWill do.â And she hung up.
Fuck. I know my brotherâs a pothead. In fact, he wanted to move to California with me because medical marijuana is legalâbut I assured him they wouldnât consider an old broken ankle injury from when he was nine and collided his skateboard into a hot dog cart as a valid medical excuse. But
selling
pot? What could he possibly need the money for?
I felt so lost and laden, I didnât know what to do except call my NY bestie (and ex), Liza. She always has something positive to say, some way of looking at the world that always makes me feel better. Her phone rang and rang, no answer. So I texted.
All hell has broken loose. CB ASAP!!!!
After I pressed SEND, I realized I was being selfish. So I texted again.
You ok? Kelly? Miss you so much!!!
I had been so caught up in the bullshit of work, the excitement of the hunt, and the drama of Jason, I hadnât even told Liza all that was going on, or heard anything about her life in way too long.
I willed my half-ton limbs to move, put on Toupee and Booâs leashes, and without bothering to change clothes, I hit the streets in just a long T-shirt and flip-flops, accompanied by my dried mascara-streaked face. I didnât care.
S.H.A.R.I.âs door was closed and I didnât know if that meant she had come home yet or not. It was just as well. It was too early for me to go ballistic. I needed at least two cups of coffee for that. I turned onto Sunset.
OH. MY. EFFING. G!!!!! What do I fucking see? LADY MACMETH. MAKING OUT! WITH AN EQUALLY TOOTHLESS DUDE!!!!!! Feeding each other the remains of a sandwich, excavated from the nearby dumpster, no doubt, and
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