New
Zealand when she was 15. Her mom a mail order Russian bride. I
watched as she sat up Spearing one side of her glossy black hair
behind her ear. Her crazy haircut all shaved on one side made her
look like a freak.
She licked her cracked lips, her tongue
larger than her damn lips moistened them. She smiled indulgently “I’d be happy to do
it….” I gave her middle finger while the other guys kept cracking
up. Then there was the sound of boots clanging to the metal floor
as the laughs soon dried up.
My Unit Commander George Patrick or GP as we
would call him towered over me holding on the rails above. Built
like a tank, six foot four. A weather-beaten man in his late
forties, chasing glory in time past gone. He then smoothed his
grizzly salt and pepper beard. The scars on his face a reminder of
a man born into battle. Each one significant, one down his left eye
and one across his nose from the battle in Helmand. The right eye
patch hiding the lost eye from ambush at Kabul. He called them
tattoos. I called them very lucky to be alive.
“Are you okay son?” he said in weathered
voice.
“Yeah, can’t wait to get home.”
“Will. I want to ask you if you would
reconsider the offer?”
I paused, clutching the photo his eyes
shifted to my hand when he said again. “I know the reasons why
you’re leaving but it doesn’t work that way.”
I raised an eyebrow “I’m done GP, I want to
marry Claudia.”
“Then what? What are you going to do for a
job? How are you going to support your wife?”
“I’ll find something…”
“Something, packing groceries at a
supermarket? Door security at bar? Will,.”
I eyed him silently. Only internalizing where everyone else is going.
He said “With the government disestablishing
our counter-narcotics unit I’m asking you to join the PMC (Private
Military Company) for Cerberus Petroleum its money well compensating for my skills. You think your gonna cash out your superannuation to have
enough to finance your wedding and buy a house? ”
“Damn Private security for Cerberus?
Protecting Civilian contractors in Afghanistan again, Fuck
that.”
“Look the deployments are shorter and more
pay! The equipment top of the line none of fucked Auger rifles we
were using. An expenses budget even to upgrade our gear.”
“I don’t care, GP I spent over a decade
obsessed with this life. I’m done.”
I stood up and took out the photo of her.
“I put this woman through a lot of shit you
know. Five years fucking years she cried when I left and cried when
I came back from each deployment. God damn it, GP. I put in my
time.”
I reached into my pocket and showed her the
ring I bought in Dubai. GP stood emotional less. He rubbed his
finger.
Natalya blurted “GP you’re wasting your time.
I told you he’s a faggot!”
“Will. I understand. Let me stress again more
money less time out in the field. I need you son.”
“GP its time, that’s what I want. We
witnessed so many soldiers blown to fucking pieces from IED’s
crazed insurgents who were locals that were trained that turned on
us. GP I’m proud to have served and fought beside you that I will
always remember. But it had to end for me sometime.”
I watched as GP looked me in the eye, the
image of Claudia in my mind. I was steadfast in the conviction I
wasn’t going to be swayed.
He said, “I remember that look son. I had
that a long time ago…”
I raised my eyebrow with watery eyes “So you
understand?”
GP gave a slight nod.
***
Three hours later or 1700hrs we landed at
Whenuapai airbase. To finally hit the ground and be home, I was
eager to get off this tin can and into my arms of my woman.
Everyone began to unhook while we watched the ramp lower. The wind
blew in the air that wasn’t dusty or hot. I was home. Green
landscape and no sound of that god damned diesel generators.
We started to come down into the airfield. It
was overcast, but the tarmac was rain lashed. I peered into my phone to
Zealand when she was 15. Her mom a mail order Russian bride. I
watched as she sat up Spearing one side of her glossy black hair
behind her ear. Her crazy haircut all shaved on one side made her
look like a freak.
She licked her cracked lips, her tongue
larger than her damn lips moistened them. She smiled indulgently “I’d be happy to do
it….” I gave her middle finger while the other guys kept cracking
up. Then there was the sound of boots clanging to the metal floor
as the laughs soon dried up.
My Unit Commander George Patrick or GP as we
would call him towered over me holding on the rails above. Built
like a tank, six foot four. A weather-beaten man in his late
forties, chasing glory in time past gone. He then smoothed his
grizzly salt and pepper beard. The scars on his face a reminder of
a man born into battle. Each one significant, one down his left eye
and one across his nose from the battle in Helmand. The right eye
patch hiding the lost eye from ambush at Kabul. He called them
tattoos. I called them very lucky to be alive.
“Are you okay son?” he said in weathered
voice.
“Yeah, can’t wait to get home.”
“Will. I want to ask you if you would
reconsider the offer?”
I paused, clutching the photo his eyes
shifted to my hand when he said again. “I know the reasons why
you’re leaving but it doesn’t work that way.”
I raised an eyebrow “I’m done GP, I want to
marry Claudia.”
“Then what? What are you going to do for a
job? How are you going to support your wife?”
“I’ll find something…”
“Something, packing groceries at a
supermarket? Door security at bar? Will,.”
I eyed him silently. Only internalizing where everyone else is going.
He said “With the government disestablishing
our counter-narcotics unit I’m asking you to join the PMC (Private
Military Company) for Cerberus Petroleum its money well compensating for my skills. You think your gonna cash out your superannuation to have
enough to finance your wedding and buy a house? ”
“Damn Private security for Cerberus?
Protecting Civilian contractors in Afghanistan again, Fuck
that.”
“Look the deployments are shorter and more
pay! The equipment top of the line none of fucked Auger rifles we
were using. An expenses budget even to upgrade our gear.”
“I don’t care, GP I spent over a decade
obsessed with this life. I’m done.”
I stood up and took out the photo of her.
“I put this woman through a lot of shit you
know. Five years fucking years she cried when I left and cried when
I came back from each deployment. God damn it, GP. I put in my
time.”
I reached into my pocket and showed her the
ring I bought in Dubai. GP stood emotional less. He rubbed his
finger.
Natalya blurted “GP you’re wasting your time.
I told you he’s a faggot!”
“Will. I understand. Let me stress again more
money less time out in the field. I need you son.”
“GP its time, that’s what I want. We
witnessed so many soldiers blown to fucking pieces from IED’s
crazed insurgents who were locals that were trained that turned on
us. GP I’m proud to have served and fought beside you that I will
always remember. But it had to end for me sometime.”
I watched as GP looked me in the eye, the
image of Claudia in my mind. I was steadfast in the conviction I
wasn’t going to be swayed.
He said, “I remember that look son. I had
that a long time ago…”
I raised my eyebrow with watery eyes “So you
understand?”
GP gave a slight nod.
***
Three hours later or 1700hrs we landed at
Whenuapai airbase. To finally hit the ground and be home, I was
eager to get off this tin can and into my arms of my woman.
Everyone began to unhook while we watched the ramp lower. The wind
blew in the air that wasn’t dusty or hot. I was home. Green
landscape and no sound of that god damned diesel generators.
We started to come down into the airfield. It
was overcast, but the tarmac was rain lashed. I peered into my phone to
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