Read Online Feeling Sorry for Celia by Jaclyn Moriarty - Free Book Online
Authors: Jaclyn Moriarty
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necessary an ordinary girl might even choose to go out with an ugly boy, depending on how desperate she gets.
But the point is, it is never okay for an ordinary girl to go out with a beautiful boy. It would be like some kind of a distortion in the universe.
It just would not happen.
Saxon Walker is one of the most prized members of our society. He has regulation sea-blue eyes, an exquisite nose with a gorgeous little bendy bit at the end, and his cheeks have patches of pink that shift around to his ears when he’s embarrassed.
He could be the son of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis.
He could be Brad Pitt’s cousin.
He could be a Greek god.
He could be Romeo.
Elizabeth, you are just not Juliet.
Please keep your distance from Saxon Walker, and try not to take up time that he could be spending with more appropriate young women.
With very kindest wishes,
The Society of Beautiful People (SOB. P)
Dear Ms Clarry,
We hear that you have received letters from the Cold Hard Truth Association and the Society of Beautiful People? We would just like to add our support to their comments.
Only a true teenager could catch a guy like Saxon Walker.
A true teenager would have waited to see if Saxon wanted to go running again today, instead of starting off right away assuming that he would, just because you’ve trained together for the last few days.
A true teenager would not have got a seriously depressed look on her face when Saxon said he couldn’t run today, so that he laughed and said, ‘ Don’t worry, I just have to go to my judo class today. We can go running tomorrow.’ (And instead of grinning like a moron at that, a true teenager would have taken the opportunity to calmly ask about Saxon’s judo. A true teenager would know hilarious judo-related stories to share with Saxon.)
A true teenager would think of new and fascinating directions in conversation, instead of always coming back to the Belongil Trail Run and her new runners and her best times; and Celia’s circus and Celia’s headaches and Celia’s circus manager – as if running and Celia were the only two things in her boring little life. (Which I suppose they are.)
A true teenager would have called out witty things from the window when Saxon got off the bus, instead of pretending to look into her school bag and then staring after him like a zombie so that when he looked around he saw her with her mouth hanging open.
And, finally, a true teenager would find some way to see Saxon when she is dressed in her nicest clothes, instead of just going running with him, so that he only ever sees her (a) in a school uniform, or (b) with her hair all sweaty and messy, her face bright pink, and her white knees sprouting from her running shorts.
You seem to have had a lot of trouble with our earlier suggestion that you get into the refrigerator. We now suggest that you take your new runners out of their shoe box and climb in there yourself. Put the lid on behind you, tightly.
Yours sincerely,
The Association of Teenagers
PART
three
Degas and Dance: the Art Gallery of New South Wales, 10th October–27th December
LIZZY.
Hi. Things are not exactly great at the Big Top at the moment. Ha. That’s an understatement. Patricia, the girl whose caravan I’m living in? She’s fighting with Miranda the juggler, and they’re both fighting with Ginny the trapeze artist. Pat, Miranda and Ginny all want me to be on their side, but I think they’re all acting like big losers. And the circus manager doesn’t seem to be able to take no for an answer. His advice is starting to get on my nerves (so are his hairy hands). It’s exhausting. I feel tired all the time, and my head hasn’t stopped aching since last Tuesday. I think my glands are swelling up again too. Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine. Love, Celia
Dear Christina,
You’re not going to believe where I am. Actually, you’ve probably already guessed from my handwriting that
But the point is, it is never okay for an ordinary girl to go out with a beautiful boy. It would be like some kind of a distortion in the universe.
It just would not happen.
Saxon Walker is one of the most prized members of our society. He has regulation sea-blue eyes, an exquisite nose with a gorgeous little bendy bit at the end, and his cheeks have patches of pink that shift around to his ears when he’s embarrassed.
He could be the son of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis.
He could be Brad Pitt’s cousin.
He could be a Greek god.
He could be Romeo.
Elizabeth, you are just not Juliet.
Please keep your distance from Saxon Walker, and try not to take up time that he could be spending with more appropriate young women.
With very kindest wishes,
The Society of Beautiful People (SOB. P)
Dear Ms Clarry,
We hear that you have received letters from the Cold Hard Truth Association and the Society of Beautiful People? We would just like to add our support to their comments.
Only a true teenager could catch a guy like Saxon Walker.
A true teenager would have waited to see if Saxon wanted to go running again today, instead of starting off right away assuming that he would, just because you’ve trained together for the last few days.
A true teenager would not have got a seriously depressed look on her face when Saxon said he couldn’t run today, so that he laughed and said, ‘ Don’t worry, I just have to go to my judo class today. We can go running tomorrow.’ (And instead of grinning like a moron at that, a true teenager would have taken the opportunity to calmly ask about Saxon’s judo. A true teenager would know hilarious judo-related stories to share with Saxon.)
A true teenager would think of new and fascinating directions in conversation, instead of always coming back to the Belongil Trail Run and her new runners and her best times; and Celia’s circus and Celia’s headaches and Celia’s circus manager – as if running and Celia were the only two things in her boring little life. (Which I suppose they are.)
A true teenager would have called out witty things from the window when Saxon got off the bus, instead of pretending to look into her school bag and then staring after him like a zombie so that when he looked around he saw her with her mouth hanging open.
And, finally, a true teenager would find some way to see Saxon when she is dressed in her nicest clothes, instead of just going running with him, so that he only ever sees her (a) in a school uniform, or (b) with her hair all sweaty and messy, her face bright pink, and her white knees sprouting from her running shorts.
You seem to have had a lot of trouble with our earlier suggestion that you get into the refrigerator. We now suggest that you take your new runners out of their shoe box and climb in there yourself. Put the lid on behind you, tightly.
Yours sincerely,
The Association of Teenagers
PART
three
Degas and Dance: the Art Gallery of New South Wales, 10th October–27th December
LIZZY.
Hi. Things are not exactly great at the Big Top at the moment. Ha. That’s an understatement. Patricia, the girl whose caravan I’m living in? She’s fighting with Miranda the juggler, and they’re both fighting with Ginny the trapeze artist. Pat, Miranda and Ginny all want me to be on their side, but I think they’re all acting like big losers. And the circus manager doesn’t seem to be able to take no for an answer. His advice is starting to get on my nerves (so are his hairy hands). It’s exhausting. I feel tired all the time, and my head hasn’t stopped aching since last Tuesday. I think my glands are swelling up again too. Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine. Love, Celia
Dear Christina,
You’re not going to believe where I am. Actually, you’ve probably already guessed from my handwriting that
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