Read Online Fated: Karma Series, Book Three by Donna Augustine - Free Book Online
Authors: Donna Augustine
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remembered the day I went to Montreal on one of my first jobs. Things had seemed off then, even to my novice transfer sensibilities. “Maybe you’re right.”
“You know I’m right. I was searching for the cause way before you got involved.”
He had been. I’d thought at the time it was a fool’s errand. Now look at me; if he’d been a fool I was now a court jester dancing to the same tune.
“Even still, I didn’t help things.”
Fate stopped in the middle of the walk and grabbed my hand to stop me as well. “Kitty would be dead if you hadn’t done what you did. He would’ve killed her.”
“Would you have done it? Helped Malokin to save Kitty?” I asked.
He didn’t answer, and that was all I needed. I’d known anyway. As playful and flirty as this newer version of Fate could be, it hadn’t been that long ago for me to have forgotten what he’d been like when I’d arrived and what I knew he was deep down—black and white, all steel and sharp edges. He would’ve let Kitty die.
“You think I’m soft?” I didn’t know if it was a question or an accusation.
“No. Everyone has to follow their gut. You did the only thing you could live with.”
He looked at me like he believed in what he was saying, even if it was the exact opposite of how he would’ve dealt with it. I nodded and started walking again. So did he.
“Don’t judge your actions against mine. We’re different.”
Don’t judge. That was a joke. How could I not? Everyone judged whether we admitted to it or not, usually saving the harshest criticisms for ourselves.
“What about Murphy or Luck? What do you think they would’ve done?” I asked, fearing the worst. Was I the only one that didn’t have the heart to let her die? Or was what I called heart actually just human weakness? Maybe they were right; transfers were inferior.
“It doesn’t matter. It was your choice to make.” His eyes, that sometimes burned so hot, were cold as he said it.
“But it’s not what you think I should’ve done. Admit it.” I could see it there in his face, and I needed to hear it. “I can handle the truth but respect me enough to say it to me. I don’t need to be handled with kid gloves.”
“I would’ve let her die.”
That hadn’t taken much prodding. “Why?”
“Does it matter?”
“To me it does.”
He didn’t speak and I thought he wasn’t going to explain. We paused within view of the boat, he finally said, “Because I couldn’t let anyone have that much control over me.”
I’d expected something along the lines of sacrificing one for the greater good.
“You would’ve let her die because of your control hang up?”
“No. Not because of my hang up, because of what could happen if they did ever have control over me. It could’ve been much worse than arming him with a few more people. Like so many other things, it’s all in the numbers. Kitty’s life wasn’t worth the possible damage. No one’s life is worth that many, no matter who.”
It had been what I’d thought after all. I got it. In the larger scheme of things—as a whole—it made sense. But standing there, being the one that had to walk away and let the single one die, I wasn’t built that way and probably never would be.
The fact that he would make the same choice if I were the single life … . That was why I needed to keep my distance. Because if it had been him, I wouldn’t have ever given up.
“And what exactly are you that would be so lethal? I highly doubt you were ever supposed to be human. You finally going to tell me?”
“Depends. What are you willing to pay for the information?” He smiled.
I faked a smile in return, trying to forget what his earlier words had meant, that he would sacrifice anyone including myself if that was what it took to save the whole. I wouldn’t. Justified or not, it caused a hurt somewhere deep within. Seemed even if I didn’t acknowledge how I felt about him, it didn’t stop the feeling of
“You know I’m right. I was searching for the cause way before you got involved.”
He had been. I’d thought at the time it was a fool’s errand. Now look at me; if he’d been a fool I was now a court jester dancing to the same tune.
“Even still, I didn’t help things.”
Fate stopped in the middle of the walk and grabbed my hand to stop me as well. “Kitty would be dead if you hadn’t done what you did. He would’ve killed her.”
“Would you have done it? Helped Malokin to save Kitty?” I asked.
He didn’t answer, and that was all I needed. I’d known anyway. As playful and flirty as this newer version of Fate could be, it hadn’t been that long ago for me to have forgotten what he’d been like when I’d arrived and what I knew he was deep down—black and white, all steel and sharp edges. He would’ve let Kitty die.
“You think I’m soft?” I didn’t know if it was a question or an accusation.
“No. Everyone has to follow their gut. You did the only thing you could live with.”
He looked at me like he believed in what he was saying, even if it was the exact opposite of how he would’ve dealt with it. I nodded and started walking again. So did he.
“Don’t judge your actions against mine. We’re different.”
Don’t judge. That was a joke. How could I not? Everyone judged whether we admitted to it or not, usually saving the harshest criticisms for ourselves.
“What about Murphy or Luck? What do you think they would’ve done?” I asked, fearing the worst. Was I the only one that didn’t have the heart to let her die? Or was what I called heart actually just human weakness? Maybe they were right; transfers were inferior.
“It doesn’t matter. It was your choice to make.” His eyes, that sometimes burned so hot, were cold as he said it.
“But it’s not what you think I should’ve done. Admit it.” I could see it there in his face, and I needed to hear it. “I can handle the truth but respect me enough to say it to me. I don’t need to be handled with kid gloves.”
“I would’ve let her die.”
That hadn’t taken much prodding. “Why?”
“Does it matter?”
“To me it does.”
He didn’t speak and I thought he wasn’t going to explain. We paused within view of the boat, he finally said, “Because I couldn’t let anyone have that much control over me.”
I’d expected something along the lines of sacrificing one for the greater good.
“You would’ve let her die because of your control hang up?”
“No. Not because of my hang up, because of what could happen if they did ever have control over me. It could’ve been much worse than arming him with a few more people. Like so many other things, it’s all in the numbers. Kitty’s life wasn’t worth the possible damage. No one’s life is worth that many, no matter who.”
It had been what I’d thought after all. I got it. In the larger scheme of things—as a whole—it made sense. But standing there, being the one that had to walk away and let the single one die, I wasn’t built that way and probably never would be.
The fact that he would make the same choice if I were the single life … . That was why I needed to keep my distance. Because if it had been him, I wouldn’t have ever given up.
“And what exactly are you that would be so lethal? I highly doubt you were ever supposed to be human. You finally going to tell me?”
“Depends. What are you willing to pay for the information?” He smiled.
I faked a smile in return, trying to forget what his earlier words had meant, that he would sacrifice anyone including myself if that was what it took to save the whole. I wouldn’t. Justified or not, it caused a hurt somewhere deep within. Seemed even if I didn’t acknowledge how I felt about him, it didn’t stop the feeling of
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