Read Online Fakebook by Dave Cicirelli - Free Book Online Page A

vaguely menacing response full of my personal details that suggested, among other things, a deep familiarity with IP address technology.
    And yes, I backed down immediately.
    I knew that my Facebook friends would remember the incident and that it would remind them of how strange life can be. It also struck me as a good opportunity to continue a story that had just sort of stopped. Here was my chance to write the missing next chapter—and I could say whatever I wanted. After all, in light of the apparent Web savviness of the Amish, what do any of us really “know” about them? They’re somewhere off to the side of our cultural radar. They are the Facebook friends of our cultural landscape.
    Now that I had revived this old feud, I could write almost anything about it…I just had to write quickly. The moment I posted my proclamation, I’d subjected myself to the unrelenting deadlines of creating fiction in real time. While Facebook grants plenty of opportunities for second-guessing after posting, there’s no room for revision. There’s only a never-ending sense of urgency—every passing moment is a part of your story. Everything is happening “now.” And while each of my posts had the potential to create a loose thread that could unravel the whole story, a lack of posts would raise suspicion, too.
    Earlier, I described Fakebook as a giant red button marked “Do Not Push.” Now the button was flashing. Was it an ignition? Or a self-destruct? Either way, I carried it around in my pocket at all times—even at the grocery store.
    In the chips and dip aisle of my neighborhood grocery store, my eyes lingered on a nearby candy display. I took out my phone, logged on to Facebook, and sorted through my photos until I found the images I’d prepared. I smiled nervously at the ridiculous thing I was about to make true.
    All I had to do was press a button, and it would have happened.
    But I hesitated and put the phone back in my pocket. I bought a pack of M&M’s and walked out of the store. The clock continued to tick.
    The first few weeks of Fakebook hadn’t gone as planned. I was completely stunned by its immediate impact, and I’d desperately come up with ways to avoid taking the next step. Like it or not—and I didn’t like it—my profile was my reputation, and I had put it on the line for something I’d started but really didn’t understand. Was I just doing something funny and entertaining, or was I exploiting my friends and their repressed longings? I didn’t know. I still don’t know. I just knew I needed to land this thing on my own terms.
    I stopped at an intersection. I ate a handful of M&M’s without really tasting them. I glanced across the street. People were walking out of the costume shop with their store-bought make-believe, and I took my phone out again. The clock was ticking. I had to do this now, or it was all over.
    â€œTo hell with it.”
    It was almost Mischief Night, and I wanted to toilet-paper something.
    So I did.
    Dave Cicirelli

    Like · Comment · Share
    Julia Park wtf?…
    less than a minute ago via mobile · Like
    Dave Cicirelli
Oh my god am I in trouble…

    Like · Comment · Share
    Jay Patterson Do we have to subscribe to your blog for details?
    32 minutes ago via mobile · Like
    Matt Riggio what the hell did you do? Is that TP?
    28 minutes ago · Like
    Pete Garra ???
    24 minutes ago via mobile · Like
    Matt Campbell Don’t even tell me the Amish have security cameras.
    24 minutes ago via mobile · Like
    Pete Garra all i can picture is dave chained and being forced to churn butter or make candles. It’s horrible. Maybe a scene for saw 7?
    23 minutes ago via mobile · Like
    Dave Cicirelli
Ok…So apparently it’s a “hate crime” to vandalize someone’s property because they’re Amish. Also, my profile and phone are obviously filled with